Stop Bouncing Back

I’m tired of bouncing back. Sometimes I just fantasize about eating bonbons on the couch all day.

Bouncing back is being resilient. When I hit a rough spot, getting back to business as usual is helpful. How do you bounce back? Have slack. Not be a slacker, that’s back to eating bonbons. Having slack in the system reduces stress and increases your chances of success. What does being resilient mean in real estate? Having redundancy in your system with a healthy reserves account or multiple sources of deal leads. Having a strong network of folks (thanks BP forums) that you can call on for help or advice. Right sizing your insurance.

But giving up or bouncing back aren’t your only options. There is a third! When faced with an obstacle you can give up, bounce back, or bounce forward.

Bouncing forward means taking the bump in the road and not only recovering from it, but benefiting from it. Being stronger as a result of the challenges you’ve faced. Nassim Taleb wrote an entire book on this topic entitled Antifragile. It’s a fascinating read, and it’s all about benefiting from disorder.  A great example of antifragile is your immune system.  The more trials your immune system encounters (think the germ fest at your child's school or in an airplane) the better your immune system gets. It truly benefits from all the bumps in the road. “What does not kill you makes you stronger.”

How might one prepare to bounce ahead? Certainly, having some slack in the system will help. Take all the steps you can to provide yourself a little room when disaster strikes to come up with a plan. But what else? How do you move from resilient to antifragile?

Stay calm

First and foremost, see if you can stay in a rational state. You know, the state where your lizard brain hasn’t taken over the controls. Often that lizard brain creates a second problem. Appraisal didn’t come in for full value? Oops, your sharp words to the loan broker aren’t going to solve that problem. Now you have two problems, the original, and the one you’ve created with your emotional (likely fear) response to the problem. 

If you’ve still got your rational brain working, figure out how to cheat. Catalog your strengths are and use them. 

Why bother staying calm? Surely it would be more fun to throw a big tantrum? Or give up and grab that box of bonbons on the way to the couch? Staying calm allows you to ask yourself, “How can I benefit from this challenge?”  It truly allows you to see options that others might overlook.

It’s all fuel

Sometimes it’s easier to calm that fear response if you can trust that you will bounce forward. Recognize that you don’t just want fuel, you need it. All these challenges, they are making you better and stronger.

Ditch the snow plow

Stop smoothing everything. Keep the small bumps in the road. It keeps you in shape for the bigger bumps. Challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone regularly. This can be as simple as choosing the hard way on purpose as part of your daily routine.

What would you do to prepare yourself for the unexpected? Let’s stop bouncing back and instead bounce forward.