Mentor ideals do not align with my own

87 Replies

My "mentor" told me to stop chasing FI and to get a secure job. Should I fire him? What should I do?

FI as in Financial Independence. He had me take a personality test and said that I would fit better as a Financial Analyst or Consultant than as an Entrepreneur.

@Christopher Lewis real estate is a team sport.. partner up with someone who has different skill set than yours

I am not particularly good at sales.  I am incredibly shy. I get anxiety when talking to strangers.

I am in the top 1% of all real estate agents nationwide. Im in the top 1% of income earners nationwide being in a profession that typically requires being outgoing, being good at sales, being good at talking to strangers.

I choose to be successful at what I do regardless of the fact that Im not necessarily wired for this profession. Im probably better at it than people naturally built for it because I work hard and have to make a conscious choice to be successful at it as opposed to some it comes more naturally to.

 Hi Christopher,

I didn't know that a personality test decides if you want to be financially independent.  I think introverts and extroverts all want to be rich.  A test doesn't measure that.

The personality tests can only tell so much for deciding if someone will be a natural at sales or not. It doesn't factor in the persons will power to learn and outwork everyone.  Regardless everyone can be a real estate investor.  If your test shows you best as an analyst.  That's a great fit for real estate.  I know many successful real estate investors that are analysts. 

Oh, your paid coach says...  that's different. 

Can't 'fire' a mentor. Mentors are wise guides that help you because they like you.

Statistics say he's right.  Take twenty random rats running on their wheel in America.  1 will have what it takes to get to FI and get out of the cubicle.

Since we know nothing about your situation, I'm with your mentor.  5% is all I know anyway.

Now tell us about yourself. It's not all roses and rainbows in RE.  What makes you more likely to make it than the other 95%??

Originally posted by @Russell Brazil :

I am not particularly good at sales.  I am incredibly shy. I get anxiety when talking to strangers.

I am in the top 1% of all real estate agents nationwide. Im in the top 1% of income earners nationwide being in a profession that typically requires being outgoing, being good at sales, being good at talking to strangers.

I choose to be successful at what I do regardless of the fact that Im not necessarily wired for this profession. Im probably better at it than people naturally built for it because I work hard and have to make a conscious choice to be successful at it as opposed to some it comes more naturally to.

 Russ I am the opposite completely pretty good at sales and lacking in detail..  Mr. Blue sky !!

@Christopher Lewis

I think you can turn that Lemon advice into Lemonade!

The advice to get a secure job doesn't mean you are NOT an entrepreneur if you chose to get a secured job!

Getting a Secured job increases our chance of being a Successful Entrepreneur!

That's exactly what I did 21 years ago!

I graduated College, started working in my profession, took the income and used it as seed money for Real Estate Investments.

Without the secured job, I could not have gotten loans or attracted Partners to expand as much as I have done.

After 6 years of working my secured job very hard, I eventually moved my salary up from an entry level of $32k per year to over $150k per year by 2004, investing all the time, and quit my secured job because I was financially free at that time.

HOWEVER, I have taken the skills of my profession, which is Software Development, and have been building a Software business with a Partner in the field.

Being Financially independent gives you the ability to be a better entrepreneur because you don't have to dependent on a job for our next meal! You will be amazed how great that feels and you can really build a business if you so choose.

The Advice to get a secured job is GREAT advice and I fully recommend it, especially if you already are established in your profession (for example, a Doctor). Why throw away all of that advantage of getting seed money which will eventually speed up your way to being an Entrepreneur?

LLew

Originally posted by @Christopher Lewis :

My "mentor" told me to stop chasing FI and to get a secure job. Should I fire him? What should I do?

 Ok, Jay has me thinking of an easy way to better figure this out.  As a Blue Sky, big-picture, non-detail guy, I'd say he's an Otter personality type.  They like to have fun and focus most on what's important.  

I'm more of a Beaver. Details are huge. Close only counts when stretching carpet after all.   The other types are Lions (leaders, loud, extravert) and Golden Retrievers (loyal, mild and ok being in the background).  

Specifically, I'd be a Beaver Retriever LOL. Details are good and I love remaining anonymous and am very loyal to my people.

Anyway- in order of importance to you, Chris, what is the most important to you?  List them 1 - 4. These are everyone's basic needs:

1) Fun  2) Power (sense of accomplishment)  3) Freedom  and 4) Love and Belonging (social, friends, fitting in)  

GO!  Fun exercise for anyone that wants to play by the way...   What animal are ya and what basic need most floats your boat?

Updated 3 months ago

I'm a 3,2,4,1 Thanks for the format Russell!

Take this as lightly as you want since I'm obviously very detached from this entire situation but... If you want to be financially independent, and you want to get to that point via real estate investing (assumption since this is a real estate platform) then why would you let anyone else tell you to do otherwise. I looked at your page and I see that you have read the same books I had before I started investing a short time ago. And you are a member of this awesome site that has 300+ podcasts, books, forums, and a crap ton of information in general. Why would you not go for FI?...

If it's a fear or uncertainty thing that's something you'll have to just get over or always wonder what could have been. The podcasts alone can prove to you that normal everyday people become financially independent via real estate all the time. I knew I could and would succeed as an entrepreneur and I don't need a test or a mentor to confirm or deny that for me. This is coming from someone that started investing 19 months ago, someone that is also recently retired from the military, someone that is also young like you, and someone that has made more money in 2018 via real estate than I did the last 4 years in the military. And I'm not RE expert either. I just absorbed all the information I could and acted on it. 

You live in the land of opportunity so why settle for less than you desire? I went the entrepreneur route and I'm happier than I've ever been. A lot of people told me I was foolish for leaving the military to do this, imagine if I had listened.

2, 4, 3, 1

@Steve Vaughan

At this point in my life I'd have to say that I am a 3,2,1,4. I just got out of the military this past August and this new sense of freedom has changed my path forever. I met the mentor at an entrepreneurship meetup held by my university which is why it's strange for him to steer me away from entrepreneurship.

Thank you to everyone who has responded! Your advice is very useful.

Originally posted by @Christopher Lewis :

@Steve Vaughan

At this point in my life I'd have to say that I am a 3,2,1,4. I just got out of the military this past August and this new sense of freedom has changed my path forever. I met the mentor at an entrepreneurship meetup held by my university which is why it's strange for him to steer me away from entrepreneurship.

Thank you to everyone who has responded! Your advice is very useful.

 Very cool and thank you for your service!

3 is what got me to hang up my cubicle cleats forever in 2002. Freedom!  Freedom from the man and the commute.  Freedom to take a nap if I want to.  

Is freedom big for you now mainly because of the rigid schedule you had in the military?  Or has it always been there?  If so  I may disagree with your 'mentor'. The need for freedom got me to move my family to a trailer park 3 states away. But freedom for me is 3x more important than the next one on my list. We can move mountains when the desire is deep enough.

So what type of animal are you? Lion (leader, in charge), Beaver (detailed, technical) Golden Retriever (mild and loyal) or Otter (fun and friendly) .  Pick top 2.  Most of us are a combo.

@Christopher Lewis

My knee jerk reaction is to advise you to tell this guy to pound salt but i don’t know you or your personality . The guy might be right ! Mainly You need to be bold In Action and goals , have a great work ethic ,and not Be afraid to take risks . Just those three requirements would likely eliminate 95% of the public ! There is a reason most people retire broke only to rely on a government program for their survival .life is truly a self fulfilling prophecy . You become what you think .

@Steve Vaughan A lion otter lol. And yes finally getting away from the the rigors of the military is definitely a factor in why I put freedom at the top of the list.

Originally posted by @Christopher Lewis :

@Steve Vaughan A lion otter lol. And yes finally getting away from the the rigors of the military is definitely a factor in why I put freedom at the top of the list.

 Ok got it.  A Lion with a high Power need will be very unhappy with just FI.  Think CEO. Rich but always working.  The opposite of passive. 

If I were you, I'd start a business. Good luck. 

@Christopher Lewis my husband walked away from his military career after 15 yrs in December. People thought he was crazy because he walked away with no retirement pension or benefits. The security of the military did help us fund the start up of our business and all the military training he previously had helped him create systems to how we manage our business. He felt that the security and commitment of the military was holding him back from reaching his full potential. Plus, his heart wasn't in it anymore. The common person is scared of taking risks and will often put doubt in your head. Stick to what you're passionate about.
Originally posted by @Russell Brazil :

I am not particularly good at sales.  I am incredibly shy. I get anxiety when talking to strangers.

I am in the top 1% of all real estate agents nationwide. Im in the top 1% of income earners nationwide being in a profession that typically requires being outgoing, being good at sales, being good at talking to strangers.

I choose to be successful at what I do regardless of the fact that Im not necessarily wired for this profession. Im probably better at it than people naturally built for it because I work hard and have to make a conscious choice to be successful at it as opposed to some it comes more naturally to.

Good to know there are successful people in this business with the same personality as me. Im an introvert, I tend to hang in the background and keep to myself. I dont like to talk much, But people tend to find me endearing, and trustworthy. I always assumed you had to be an extrovert to really make it in REI, and often question my personality.

@Steve Vaughan if i want to find a house and fix it up, im like a lion. Put me in a group of people i dont know, i become the golden retriever. 

Originally posted by @Russell Brazil :

I am not particularly good at sales.  I am incredibly shy. I get anxiety when talking to strangers.

I am in the top 1% of all real estate agents nationwide. Im in the top 1% of income earners nationwide being in a profession that typically requires being outgoing, being good at sales, being good at talking to strangers.

I choose to be successful at what I do regardless of the fact that Im not necessarily wired for this profession. Im probably better at it than people naturally built for it because I work hard and have to make a conscious choice to be successful at it as opposed to some it comes more naturally to.

Russ, what would you say made you reach this level of success in this field? Getting out of your comfort zone? Perseverance? A mix of those two? I haven't listened to any podcasts, but would give yours a go (especially if you already have one) :)

Originally posted by @Brian Ellis

@Steve Vaughan if i want to find a house and fix it up, im like a lion. Put me in a group of people i dont know, i become the golden retriever. 

Definitely need to be a Lion leader with high accomplishment itch at times when it matters.  My wife says I can persevere when I want to more than anyone she knows.  Driven between naps?  Yes! Your why keeps you going. Have a good one. 

We need to structure our business around who we are.  I need no affirmations, no name on anything, happy to do the work when nobody knows but me. I structured my RE, my business, everything, to be anonymous and to have a higher authority to 'check' with.  Freedom is by far my big need.

Lions (like Grant Cordone for instance) would hate my way. I would hate his.  Structure yours to who you are.  Hopefully identifying your animal and basic need will aid in discovering that.

@Christopher Lewis . You don’t pay a mentor you pay a coach. Time to fire the coach and go do some more education on your own

@Dennis M. Love this answer. Bold in action and goals. Most people will never act on their dreams. They just think, “that must be nice, wish I could do that.” The reality is, everyone can do real estate. It’s all about action, hard work, and education. When it comes to “Should I fire my mentor”. This just sounds a little funny to me. Rarely does someone ever become your formal mentor. That being said, mentors to me are people that are simply better than me at what I want to become. They are simply friends I can call upon for advice in real estate and life, and we exchange value for each other. We don’t owe each other favors, or “You scratch my back I scratch yours”. It’s just about being able to look up to someone and help each other achieve goals. You surround yourself with like minded rockstars. It’s like what David Greene says, “Rockstars hang out with other rockstars”. The law of averages, etc.

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