Mentor ideals do not align with my own

87 Replies

@Christopher Lewis anybody that tries to deter you from pursuing a better life has to go. If your future were to involve a secure job, that’s your decision to make. Everybody has a different threshold on how much others opionions matter. Some ppl don’t care at all, for others it is a developed skill to learn to silence the noise around them and can be a hurdle to overcome, but overcome it we must. I say keep on keeping on brother, the dream isn’t dead until you say it is. I’m also in Raleigh and would be happy to connect. I’m just starting out too and certaIny dont have many answers but being around like minded ppl is important.
Originally posted by @Christopher Lewis :

My "mentor" told me to stop chasing FI and to get a secure job. Should I fire him? What should I do?

 Does he have the exact life you want?  If so he’s the right mentor. “Don’t take advice from anyone you wouldn’t trade lives with.” 

@Christopher Lewis , if FI is really important to you, you won't stop chasing it no matter what. Your mentor may still be able to offer you some good insight in other areas, but if your ideals are no longer aligning, then it may be time to part ways.

As others have said, personality tests are not always the most reliable indicator of success. You know yourself best and you know what you want. If this mentorship isn't meeting your goals, then keep looking. The fact that you're seeking out advice on this journey means you're already ahead of the game.

I would not say to fire anyone. My mentor and I both have different goals, however, the aim in this is to be able to build a network of trusted people who can help you along the way. "Firing" your mentor is never a good way to go. I would speak to them and mention that you feel differently about your path and there is more that you would like to explore in this line of work. I also typically do not believe in the use of a personality test to determine a future that you should be following. Best of luck! Try not to burn any bridges!

Originally posted by @Shiloh Lundahl :

@Ali Boone From everything that I have seen, it is a very difficult and a very long process to become financially independent without being an entrepreneur. One of the biggest reasons is because you miss out on the benefits of leverage where you are able to use other people’s time, efforts, talents, and money to create money for you. I’m not just talking about a one man show entrepreneur (who owns more of a job than a business) but I am talking about real entrepreneurs who develop business systems that work and earn them money when the entrepreneur is not there.

@Caleb Heimsoth You are predictable in your negative comments towards paying for education.

@Llewelyn A. I loved your advice about having your secure job provide the seed money for your investments. I think that mindset is not only accurate and realistic, but I think that it can help people have a realistic view of a path to reach financial freedom.

Here is my opinion when it comes to becoming financially independent, or financially free. First, get a high paying job. It does not have to be something you love to do, or that you have a passion for, or that you even like. As long as it doesn’t go against your moral value system, the work itself does not really matter because it is not your end game. Just as many people who went through school didn’t do it because they necessarily loved going through school but they did it for what school was going to give them - a degree, certificate, etc. which would open up opportunities to do something else.

Here is the path that I see people who are financially free take.

1. get a job to support yourself with a flexable schedule (preferably a high paying job)

2. Live frugally during the beginning of the process

3. Accumulate seed money (or get access to seed money which is easier if you have a high paying job already and you have low expenses) 

4. Start a business on the side with a much higher income potential than your job

5. Help that business grow and then systematize that business to where it can run without your constant oversight.

6. Continue building that business until it far exceeds your prior job and your expenses

7. Gain knowledge in how to invest your money wisely and then invest the profits of the business.

This is the pathway for many people who become financially free. Whether they like their job or not is irrelevant. Whether they like their business or not is irrelevant. It isn’t their job or their business that is the end goal. It is what the job or business can do for them or ultimately create for them that is the end goal and the job or business was just the pathway they chose to get there.

Some people may say “well I wouldn’t want to do something I don’t like just to earn money,” or “I don’t want to dread going to work,” or “ I would rather be happy than rich,” etc. These people are missing the point. If the goal is financial freedom in order to free yourself up financially to accomplish your life’s purposes, then it obviously takes sacrifices and almost always takes hard work. People who are willing to pay the price, do the hard work, and follow a system that leads to financial independence, can get there. And working towards a meaningful goal, that helps you accomplish your overall purposes in life, in my opinion, gives you something greater than day to day happiness. If gives you fulfillment. I would much rather have the feeling of fulfillment knowing that I have accomplished my purposesses in life than work at a place where I like the job.

I definitely hear what you're saying. And all good info. There is the option to do it without that, depending on what kind of investments you dive into and what your resources are to help you with that, but certainly entrepreneurship mindsets come into major play at some point along the way, if for no other reason to allow for expansion via leverage and all that you mention. Hard to say on this post where everything falls, or what the options are, but I just know if someone wants something bad enough, there are ways to make it happen. Outside of personality tests. :)

@Aaron Millis - I love your post, Aaron! That’s amazing that you have made more money in the last 19 months with RE than in your military career! Thanks for the inspiration!
@Christopher Lewis That’s great that you are reaching out to BP to answer your questions. I’m glad that there are very encouraging people to direct you towards your FI dreams. Keep following your dreams!! In regard to your mastermind question, BP is offering a mastermind group if you buy the 90 day intention journal. Did you see those emails from Mindy and Brandon? I would highly recommend getting the book and joining a BP mastermind!

I speak with confidence when I say that financial independence (and freedom of time) can come through real estate. On the other side of the coin it is scary if you do not have that steady pay check coming in the beginning. 

Get educated, set your goals and then take steps to accomplishing them. Evaluate your situation and maybe start part-time at first. Once you save some amount of money or do a certain number of deals then you will go full-time in real estate. There could be a solid reason why that person is saying what they are about your personality. But the good news is that you can recognize what they are saying and learn from that to improve yourself. I started out not so great and now I would say I am kind of decent at this investment thing (wink, wink).

I do not think I have ever heard of anyone wanting to fire a mentor. If  you have "hired" your mentor then they might not have all of the right advice. Go to local real estate clubs and get to know people for real. They will meet with you for coffee or something and you ask each other for advice. That is a real mentor that I try to seek. 

If you really believe you can do it, then get connected in your local area and reach out to people that invest and learn from them. A person can make money in real estate no matter who they are if they know what to do.

Continue on, but get more feedback on why they assume you fall short.  Behaviors can be learned to some extent. 

FI - Financial independence.  Probably the most misused word relating to real estate.  Real estate to me is a type of work.  You're dependent on your investment, your customers (tenants), your partners and lenders.  I think this is a more complicated life I've chosen compared to taking a job. 

The thing about mentors is you don't just have one, you should have multiple so you can get all sorts of advice. Your mentors will disagree, and that's fine, but in the end, it's your decision and you have to decide if you can live with the decision you made even if it doesn't turn out your way. 

That's why networking is so important so you can meet a wide array of people with different opinions. 

Originally posted by @Caleb Heimsoth

in my experience most of the REI education is way to expensive for the value it provides. I'm not saying all REI education is like that, just most of what I've seen.

I think this is the statement I have issue with which is why I comment when you make it.  You say that most of the REI education is way too expensive for the value it provides; not all but most of what you've seen.

I am wondering how you came up with that statistic of most, and what you mean by seen. Have you paid for and gone through hundreds of real estate education courses to become a guru on evaluating them? Or do you say that because it feels truthy. You know, it sounds right to you so you say it as if it were right.

The reason I call you out on it, and I will continue to call you out on it, is because you state things as if they are true that you have not experienced, yet you state them as if you have the experience and as if you are an authority on the subject of paid real estate education programs. Unless you have done several yourself, you have not really seen them. 

So, just as you don’t like people being taken advantage of, and trustingly wasting their money on things they could have gotten for free, I have a problem with people making a generalized statement on things (as if those things are truths) that the person hasn’t really experienced, yet they speak as if they were an authority on the subject.

You are welcome to take this feedback for what it's worth or you can disregard it and continue to state whatever you want. But I guarentee that if I have noticed it, then other serious investors have noticed it too. And many of those other serious investors have spent a pretty penny for real estate education and with you being outwardly negative about it, that might exclude you from certain circles or groups of highly successful investors because 1) they don't want to be around someone who thinks that they are stupid for spending money on real estate education, and 2) it makes you sound ignorant when you speak to people who are much more successful then you are in real estate when you mention that "most of the REI education is way too expensive for the value it provides" yet they have made millions of dollars off of the money they have spent on such trainings.

Opinions are like butts. Everyone has one. Arnold Schwarzenegger calls them the (naysayers). 

If I listened to everybody's take on life and what I should do with it I would not be living the life I have today. If my mother-in-law had her way I would be a grease monkey car mechanic working for Toyota or they like. She made this suggestion just because she knew I could fix cars. Their family had always worked for somebody else and my side of the family had many business owners and inventors.

Over a decade ago I had all kinds of unsolicited suggestions made on what to do with my life. What about what I wanted? LOL

There are lot's of easy options out there but many are unfulfilling as well and not challenging. Some people are fine doing the same thing over and over again and rarely challenged but there are others who want more out of life. There are people who think they make great suggestions just because it is how they derive value out of life and what they deem the optimal way to live it. After being around many thousands of people over the decades you learn everyone is different with some commonalities. I listen to people and what makes them happy but that does not diminish or make less how I choose to live my life and what gives me happiness.

Lot's of family and friends these days tell me they can't believe how successful I am now and what I have achieved. They look at me and say they are eating their words. I do not even bring it up in conversation they do. One even works for me      My personality has never been to follow the herds. I have always followed my own path.      

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