Hello, All 

I have been following BiggerPockets for many years and have been listening to bigger pockets podcasts for many years. 

I have been a premium member for several months and have posted at least several times.. 

The forum just like real estate has so many different places that you can post and provide value...

Quick on Background;

I have been a real estate licensed agent in the state of NJ since 1999. I was an active real estate agent from 99-2006 under century 21 in Middlesex County NJ and then transitioned to Remax Central after that i went to referral agent status until 2011. During my time of being agent i did a lot of residential and some fix and flip properties where i found properties and helped with project management of the contractors. 

Between 2011-2020 I assisted family members get into real estate and provided operational support (marketing /business generating activates). During this time i joined EXP Realty and then Berkshire and Hathaway ..

In 2011 i also started to learn wholesaling even joined clever investor as a founding member but at the time wholesaling was laughed at in South Jersey when i went to title companies so i kept it as a hobby more than a business of consuming information. 

In 2020 when the world flipped over i gave wholesale a try by hiring VA and spending around 20K failing to launch a wholesale operations.

The operation didn't make any sales mainly because I didn't have time to work the business and because I didn't have a follow up system at all to track and follow up with the leads. 

Once all of that came crashing down i pivoted to next shinny object multifamily joined a multifamily mentorship and quickly figured out that I hate underwriting but i enjoyed talking to people so that where i decided to specialize in raising money and finding off market opportunities. 

I build relationship with other people in the multifamily mentorship and joined their teams to help with the capital raise; 

I believe that me following that path has got me to today where i have a database of accredited investors which i have not been in touch for a long time and me raising a million dollars. 

I then launched my own group found a property in Texas that is really far away from me being based in NJ  we got the property under contract 75 units 12,3 million acquisition seller was going to carry 60% with 2% interest mature in 36 months.. It is was a slam dunk deal we got it under contract and put together a 506C but we never closed because of due diligence that tanked our number.. The group lost due diligence money & syndication costs and time.. 

However, part of this acquisition i connected with top folks in EXP and learned that they launched an EXP commercial line so that is why i joined EXP under commercial again.. 

Also I meet a very successful investor who asked me the question that i been contemplating before why are you not investing in your backyard ?

This is why I decided to switch my gear and leverage reonomy which is offered to all EXP commercial  agents and restart my multifamily journey in the Allentown MSA and South Jersey & Delaware( i tend to stay away from big cities such as Philadelphia).

If you read this far thank you... so within this forum which is psychology i constantly wonder if i will ever get out of this failures. It almost seems like once i got out of being a residential agent in 2000's i been dealing with such paralysis analysis..

I know for a fact my passion is real estate i want to retire myself out of my corporate job. I have 3 boys oldest 14 who wants to be along with me for the journey but all i am showing him is failure... 

I want to own multifamily that are generating me 20K cash flow each month and helping other people such as investors get returns on their money and coaching others to build their wealth in real estate. I also want to coach/partner with real estate inspiring or existing  investors who  want to build their wealth in real estate and take their kids along for the journey. 

What should i be doing next ?