Some quick thoughts on long term In Home Care vs Nursing Homes

I've recently started to do some marketing work for a top notch Home Care company in New York.  It's been quite an eye opening experience.  You see, I really haven't thought about this stuff for the longest time.  

You see, my parents are still in good health (thank goodness).  But, earlier this year, we had a little surprise and my dad needed double by-pass surgery.  Thankfully, he is okay and recovering very well.  But, I know my parents aren't getting any younger...nor am I.

So, at some point, they will need more help.  All of this has made me think about their as well as my own mortatity.  And, to be honest, I hate to think about it.  It brings tears to my eyes.  But, I know it's inevitable at some point.

So, I guess it's better to think about these things ahead of time, as they are much easier to solve.  And, it's much better to be able to prevent issues, especially falls, which can impact your mobility and then in turn make everything worse.

....So, I was just thinking about what my parents might like in the future...and what I would like as I reach that age.

Knowing my parents, and knowing me, I think all of us would prefer to age in place...or at least age in our home, even if that means getting a new home that is easier to maneuver in.  I live in an apartment, so it's much easier as there are no steps.  

They live in a house, but suppose I should be thankful that it's a split level, so it's a bit easier.  And, I should know as I fell down and broke my foot 3 years ago and camped out there for 6 weeks.  I went up and down the steps on my butt...like a toddler or little kid.  And, that's what was easier for me.  But I digress.

Anyway, I was just pondering the pros and cons between in home care vs a nursing home (or assisted living facility), putting money aside.

First, given a preference, most seniors (maybe as high as 80-90%) would prefer to age at home for as long as possible.  This makes sense as they maintain their independence and level of comfort, as well as familiarity.

Second, many people don't like change, nor do they like to move.  I know I hate it.  And, I think as we get older, we dislike it even more and we get more set in our ways and routines.

Third, it can be depressing to be among others that are having problems.  It can often be bad for you psychologically.  Instead, we need happy and energetic people that can lift our spirits.  What's good for your brain and attitude is also good for your body.

Fourth, when people go to assisted living facilities, they often become more detached from their family and friends.  And, this in turn can be depressing.

Fifth, sometimes when people move to a nursing home, they need to room with a stranger.  Not only is this an adjustment and there is a lack of privacy, but also, this can be more difficult when you're not feeling well (and/or may need access to the facilities).  And, of course if your roommate isn't well, or doesn't sleep well, it may interfere with your sleep patterns.  And, sleeping is very important for your health.

Sixth, psychologically, moving to a nursing home (for many) may be depressing as it signals you are entering the last and final stages of your life.

Now, of course there are some benefits to nursing care facilities.  First and foremost, for many this is a great way to find more companionship.  Many of them have games and activities which make life more interesting and help you meet others.  Second, there is some comfort (sometimes) in being around others who have similar problems and can commiserate.  Third, generally these facilities are safe and set up well for seniors.  And, there is help available 24-7.

But, I still think my parents would prefer to age in their own home.  And, I think I would prefer the same.  I think that often those that put their parents in nursing homes may do so because it's easier for the kid and not necessarily better for the parent.  I also think that many don't realize that having home care is an option and/or they are afraid it may be too expensive.

I think at a certain point, just aging at home by yourself can be dangerous (and depressing).  But, having an in home care specialist can be a great solution, and for many, it may be the best solution.  You don't need to have someone 24-7 in most cases, or at least not at the beginning.

You can start out gradually by having someone help you pick up groceries/prescriptions and/or preparing meals and then gradually supplement and add to the help as you need it.  They can add to your companionship and help make sure your home is safe.  And, they can help you as you have questions or need access to more information.

I just recommend that you do your research and explore your options before making a hasty decision.  And, if you do some of this research ahead of time, you will make a better decision rather than a hasty one.

Those are my thoughts for the day.