What to say without sounding like a fool

Question

Hello everyone, I went to my first meet up a week ago and to my second one this week and it's very good to meet new people. I do have one issue and that's with my personal and social attitude. I am very introverted and socially lost. I don't ever really know what to say and I get alot of hi and byes. What should I say as a new investor that's first starting out?? I really appreciate all your help.

Nathan Gesner · Answer

1. if you want to get better at something, educate yourself and practice. Read some books about how to overcome introversion or basic networking skills. Put yourself in those situations, practice what you've learned, and you'll improve.

2. Don't go to networking events just for yourself. Go there to contribute (however small) and build relationships. No experience as an investor? Ask to help set up or tear down. Get people drinks. Ask lots of questions (personal and business) because people love to talk about themselves. Use their names in all your questions or sprinkled into conversation. Make people feel important and they're far more likely to remember you and want to reciprocate.

I'm no expert, but I love to network and these two things help me a lot.

Scott Mac · Answer

Did you ever learn to catch a football, it's hard, it's pointed, it hurts.

Maybe the first 50 or so times you catch it, it hurts, you drop it, or even miss it completely due to it's strange hot dog shape.

But eventually, you figure out how to catch it without it hurting as much (unless it's it's freezing cold out, and then it will always hurt).

So as with this thing you are wanting to learn.

just do it, and drop the ball 50 times and feel the hurt for as long as it takes.=====

Start with talking to one person then go home.

Next time talk to a new person, (and you already have a known person there), then go home.

Eventually you will have met everyone, and felt awkward and poked by the hard football every time, but you will have accomplished meeting everyone.

=====

Just focus on it, and don't give up--if it takes you 7 trips there to get the courage to talk to one person, that's what it takes for you (and be thankful it was not 11 times)--why expect yourself to be a NFL Pro halfback when you are just starting out.

Drop the ball, get used to the pain (some call it paying your dues).

Less Thinky-thinky, and more do-y do-y will move you ahead quicker.

Good Luck!

====

Michael Dumler · Answer

@Mickael Castillo, I honestly wouldn't overthink it. Most individuals at REI meet-ups are newbies themselves. No one is going to interrogate you with complex investment questions. As others have noted above, it's best advised to just be honest and ask questions you're genuinely interested in learning more about. As far as developing and improving social skills, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is a solid read and talked about time and again. Each time attend and put yourself out there, it will become easier. As with any skill, consistency is key. Atlanta Real Estate Investing Meetup is my preferred ATL REI meet-up. Let me know if you're interested in attending. The next one is this Tuesday.

Josh Bowser · Answer

Hey Mickael - I feel like a lot of people are intimidated when they are newbies at meetups which is totally normal. As @Michael Dumler mentioned, a lot of the people at meetups are new to REI.

From what I have found, it is a lot easier to talk to people with the frame to help them solve their problems. At first, this is mostly done by connecting people that you have met until you build the knowledge muscle to help some people out all on your own.

For example, you might find out that two people at the same meetup (or different meetups) can help each other out. You start meeting hard money lenders, and connecting them with investors. Start meeting flippers, and connect them with contractors and visa versa.

Here are some good probing questions:

1. What projects are you currently working on?

2. What areas do you do business in / what is your favorite area to do business in?

3. What is your strategy / profession?

You might find some people that are interested in investing in an area that you live in, and can share some local market knowledge they may not know!

To be honest, most real estate professionals / investors are incredibly helpful to the point where they will give you their entire playbook in my experience. Same goes with the BP community!

Mickael Castillo · Answer

Thank you all for your help and it's very useful. I think I will.make a list of questions to ask people for when I get there. Also I'll buy books that help with connecting with people as well as go to more meet up. Thanks for that invite and thanks for the list of starter questions.

Brian Wilson · Answer

Don't over think it. Just be yourself. As someone who is also socially awkward (I'm blunt and direct in conversation, sometimes to a fault) and introverted myself I have found the book/audio book "How to win friends and influence people" to be a great tool in building relationships. Learn it and try to take away the major points. I listen to it every year at a minimum. I then take those principles and shape them to my natural personality, it becomes a very valuable tool in my tool belt.

Also as someone who doesn't like large groups I've found that meet-ups are very hard for me. I don't excel at small talk, so I tend to network online or in more intimate settings (less people more 1 on 1 time). Networking should be intentional and targeted, so I wouldn't be concerned about a lack of volume if you decide to do it my way.

Best of luck and reach out if you have any questions!

What to say without sounding like a fool

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