A silly request! Need some catchy 1-2 liners for marketing...

Hello all,

I'm going to send out some postcards to non owner occupied properties for my property management business that I'm getting off the ground. However, I'm drawing a blank as to some funny catch phrases.

Do you have any funny one or two liners that you might share with me that I may be able to build a postcard around?

Thanks in advance.

Jeff