The grass is no greener on the other side of the fence, it is just a different shade of green and you need to climb one heck of a big fence in order to get there, and then once you are far away from home invite the wolves hiding in the tall grass on the other side to come out and show you what shade it is.

@Sam T. all my leases state the tenant is moving in "as is". this means the stove had stains when they moved in so it was as is.

The only cleaning product we provide is the stovetop cleaner for the glass cooktop.What is on  the floors now?

The tilting floors are a give away.I know that you don't want to be to the northeast of a cranberry bog as pesticides sprayed by helicopter are carried by the prevailing southwest winds.It's that level of detail that automation just won't be able to replace.I agree that the old school style of brokerage with the big office with plate glass windows on Main St might want to re-think things. 

During a close encounter with a wolf, people should do the following: Stand tall and make themselves look larger.Calmly but slowly back away and maintain eye contact.If the wolf does not run away immediately, continue making yourself large, keeping eye contact, and backing away.Do not turn your back on the wolf or run away.

I think we are going to come on the market at 1.95  exicted about it.. we put an elevator in it..I was in a client of mine in Singapores home in Feb and he had an elevator in his 3 story home .. ( and a single family detached non lease hold home in Singapore is some big buckaroos.. but anyway it was glass like a hotel kind of cool.I was also toying with a Tesla solar roof and power wall if I could get that by the BAR.. probably not though .. lets just keep this market going for a few more years please.. :)

A glass of wine a day might help my cold heart.

.)- how to communicate with us- how to operate the house: from GFCI to furnace filter, how to clean a glass cooktop - point out key issues like pet policy, new girlfriend moving in etcYou think anyone reads the lease when they e-sign it?

To give a general idea of some of the mess they left - left it with 2/3rd of the lightbulbs burnt out, holes in 4 doors, very poorly patched holes in the walls in more than 5 locations, missing showerhead, missing ceiling lights, excessive mold, large hole knocked into paneling, enough garbage to overflow a roofing trash trailer, 2 tvs (1 stood 4' tall), cobwebs and filthy walls, excessively filthy carpet including over 15 dog male (squiggly!)

It was a dump when I first got it, realtor sign was knocked over and graffitied, paint peeling off the exterior, 5 different types of flooring from front door to the back sliding glass, all walls were Mexican restruant yellow, rents were $600-660.