Stop Asking for Money.

     It may work occasionally, after you have established a relationship with the lender, but asking people you don't know well for money will usually be ineffective. It may be worse than ineffective. If the impression you make is terrible, it will be often, you may alienate the very people who might have been happy to lend to you if you hadn’t asked. You may never learn who the potential lenders in your circle are with this approach. They may be so turned off by your method that they won’t reveal that they could be in a position to help you. If you do an extremely poor job with your ask, these potential lenders may tell the other potential lenders in your circle about you—as a courtesy, a friendly warning that you may be contacting them soon.

     You probably interact with many potential lenders every day without knowing it. Many people secure enough to be able to lend have no desire to advertise that fact. Many are not flashy; many don’t drive fancy cars or wear expensive jewelry. They don’t necessarily hide their wealth but they don’t have any compelling need to advertise it either. They are likely to know others in your circle who are in a similar position; they may be friends with them. They may feel closer to those other potential lenders than with you. That is why your asking, especially if it is frequent, may prompt them to check with their friends and acquaintances to see if you have contacted them also. This is not usually a good scenario for you. You may be alienating several potential lenders with each contact.

     When you ask others for money without offering them something credible in return you may give the impression that you are not prepared or not serious—if you are lucky. Some of you do this so poorly or so frequently that you manage to leave the impression that you are begging. People who can, will often help others in need but they may not be inclined to partner with them. If you need money to fund your project you should be thinking about attracting partners. (Whether the partner is a true equity partner or a lender you may be more successful when you start thinking of them as partners.) What are you bringing to the partnership?

     So, how do you raise private money without asking for it? Form relationships. Meet people. Explore common interests. Offer to help THEM with a project. Introduce THEM to someone who might be able to help THEM. Show up to THEIR event. Help THEM publicize it. Spread it around social media for THEM. Like it, share it, comment on it, love it. Be a friend. Private money is a relationship business. Form the relationship.

     Now, when you find a great deal that might benefit your friend, offer them the opportunity to participate. They might not be interested. They might not have the required funds available. They may know someone who does and they may introduce you to them. When that deal goes well tell your friend about it. When they have funds to invest they may contact you. That is how you find funding, maybe more than you will ever need. Stop asking for money.