Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)

24 Replies

I've heard of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) before but I don't know much about it. I believe that it's about using different techniques for changing your mindset and helping you be more persuasive in dealing with others. Does anyone have experience with this? It seems like it would be especially helpful in getting over the fears of failure in investing and in persuading realtors, contractors, and sellers. Any recommendations for books or websites?

Anthony Robbins in his first book Unlimited Power does a good job of going over the basics of what's most important to know and understand about NLP. Its no "secret sauce" in you getting what you want. It can help you tune into certain aspects of what a person says so you can better communicate in a way that they'll understand or appreciate without them knowing you're doing so. Can it give you a slight edge in negotiation with another person? Perhaps, if you really make a study of it. However its not going to change the numbers on a deal overall and you'd probably be better off getting more deals to come across your table than to focus on NLP.

@Andreas Mirza I'm a big fan of NLP and hypnosis. In short, NLP is a way to use language to effectively communicate, whether that is with yourself or with others. My recommendation is to check out books by Richard Bandler, as he is known as the god-father of NLP, and search through Youtube as there are a lot of great channels that teach and demonstrate the effectiveness of NLP.

Thanks,

George

NLP is extremely powerful. I am a Master Neuro-Linguistic Programmer. I completed my training in 2008 while in the middle of my master degree in mental health counseling. Let me tell you, if you want deep, lasting, and quick change, NLP is the way to go. I have provided therapy to war vets using NLP and have had immediate changes regarding their PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder). The 3 components to NLP (Neuro, Linguistics and Programing/re- programming) are all you need to understand HOW humans process and store information.

Richard Bandler has a course called Persuasion Engineering that is specifically geared towards the business aspect. Its amazing.

@Jose Diaz Forgive my ignorance but is what you're talking about the same as hypnotherapy or hypnosis? Can I achieve benefits just by reading some books or do I need to do more? I noticed that some books mentioned doing exercises. Does this refer to mental exercises to reprogram your way of thinking.

That's two people that mentioned Richard Bandler. I'll have to check it out.

Thanks!

@Andreas Mirza There is some level of hypnosis involved, however change can occur in light and deep trances. The techniques of NLP can be used in light or deep ways, its a matter of testing your implementation of the technique as you go along. For example, if I do a technique on someone with a phobia of elevators, I want to check to make sure it worked by putting them in the elevator. Hopefully what I did  worked, LOL. So we essentially re-program or alter current programming.

There are a lot of things in NLP that can be molded to investing. Especially, building rapport which is so important to do. Look into instant ways of creating rapport by: Matching, Mirroring and Cross- Mirroring/Matching.

Yes, you can benefit by reading the books and doing the exercises in them. If you get books by Richard Bandler, co-creator of NLP, you will find the way he writes and speaks as different than normal language. Its meant to be that way, because he working at an unconscious level. 

Read: Frogs into Princes, Richard Bandler's guide to Trance-Formation, The structure of magic, all are by Richard Bandler.

Feel free to ask me anything.

Originally posted by @Jose Diaz

@Jose Diaz I had to smile a bit and admire the use of embedded commands...

Originally posted by @Michael Q.:
Originally posted by @Jose Diaz

@Jose Diaz I had to smile a bit and admire the use of embedded commands...

 I was going to write the same thing...  :-)

Originally posted by @J Scott:
Originally posted by @Michael Q.:
Originally posted by @Jose Diaz

@Jose Diaz I had to smile a bit and admire the use of embedded commands...

 I was going to write the same thing...  :-)

 Lol. I like speaking unconsciously. It makes a difference and you never know what took place. People tell you everything you need to know, just pay attention to HOW they say it.

Any good books by tony robbins anyone would recommend?

Look up mind authority network. They have good info on NLP. I dabbled into it when I was a network marketer

NLP is a great tool. In the mid 80's a woman who had been teaching it to big business started selling a course through seminars given at real estate boards in California. The the agents that actually learned and practiced it doubled, tripled, their production. Trouble is like most things you have to learn and practice, the majority of people that bought it put it on the shelf after a few days or weeks.  But just being aware of the different types often helped some people in their dealings. 

My suggestion is to expose yourself to it. Go on you tube and punch in nlp.

I definitely see the value in learning more about NLP and practicing the skills.

I just finished reading "The Ultimate Introduction to NLP," by Richard Bandler. Super basic but that's just what I wanted. I'd been exposed to mirroring and pacing in a book about body language but I enjoyed the introduction to anchoring and the meta model the most.

I'm planning to read "Persuasion Engineering" next....

I am fascinated by NLP since listening to Michael Quarles on the podcast. I have got to look into this more. I'm looking on Youtube and maybe there are audio books. Thank you Andreas for sharing about the books!

@Melodee Lucido  Everyone tells us how they perceive life. All you have to do is pay attention to the details. For example, you said "I have got to LOOK into this more." To anyone is NLP it more than likely means you VISUALIZED yourself doing a task. If I remember the podcasr, @Michael Q. was attempting to elicit a visual response from the seller by saying at times, "Can you SEE yourself going lower than XXX,XXX? It makes the seller in this case LOOK inside, internally to SEE himself/herself going lower. We as humans can either CREATE or REMEMBER an experience. Now, there is a chance that a sellers preferred modality to perceive life is not VISUAL, rather AUDITORY, OR KINESTHETIC OR EVEN OLFACTORY/GUSTATORY, which in that case the seller may break away from rapport unconsciously because we are not in the way FREQUENCY. Its one of the reasons why some people don't hear what we said because we weren't talking in their language (meaning; Modality). 

So how do you create instant rapport: PACE,PACE,PACE, LEAD. If they speak in visuals, you speak in visuals. If they speak in auditory, you speak in auditory. Do this until you have paced them 3 times, then you take the lead and use whatever modality you want them to follow. If they follow you, you have just conquered the rapport.

Wow, Jose, Thank you. That was a great explanation. I can see and feel it now :-)

Originally posted by @Jose Diaz:

@Melodee Lucido  Everyone tells us how they perceive life. All you have to do is pay attention to the details. For example, you said "I have got to LOOK into this more." To anyone is NLP it more than likely means you VISUALIZED yourself doing a task. If I remember the podcasr, @Michael Q. was attempting to elicit a visual response from the seller by saying at times, "Can you SEE yourself going lower than XXX,XXX? It makes the seller in this case LOOK inside, internally to SEE himself/herself going lower. We as humans can either CREATE or REMEMBER an experience. Now, there is a chance that a sellers preferred modality to perceive life is not VISUAL, rather AUDITORY, OR KINESTHETIC OR EVEN OLFACTORY/GUSTATORY, which in that case the seller may break away from rapport unconsciously because we are not in the way FREQUENCY. Its one of the reasons why some people don't hear what we said because we weren't talking in their language (meaning; Modality). 

So how do you create instant rapport: PACE,PACE,PACE, LEAD. If they speak in visuals, you speak in visuals. If they speak in auditory, you speak in auditory. Do this until you have paced them 3 times, then you take the lead and use whatever modality you want them to follow. If they follow you, you have just conquered the rapport.

 Pretty intense stuff! Thanks for sharing, Jose! I know how powerful NLP can be. I have always admired the pro NLP speakers for digging into the way the mind works and creating a way to reprogram from it. 
It can be used in a negative or positive way, but hopefully the person using it isn't taking advantage of someone else and using an ethical & immoral way.  

@Joe Demonte  

Yours is such a good comment on this topic. Granted, we are all the same and yet different. My intention is to treat people with integrity and honor. It may not look like that to them at the time or to others but with time they may see.

I lost a home in 1994 that just sold for 3x what I paid. I got in a very rough spot. It was hard to think back on that time but I get it now. Life happens; it just does. The sad part??? I didn't have anyone contacting me about any kind of hep because I bought through the owner with a wrap mortgage. I wasn't on a preforclosure list----and I paid her every dime and gave her notice that I was unable to keep my commitment.

So, do I believe in what we are doing here in CREI?? You bet. It was such a hard time I would have been happy with 5-10k on a $250k house. A truly motivated seller? You will know it when it happens. And hopefully, as you mentioned Joe, we will be in integrity. It makes for a very good night's sleep ;-)

It is always very important to never cross into excessive manipulation and abuse. In the end, everything catches up with you. 

@Melodee Lucido  Thanks! There is, in my opinion, a blurry line with thinking it is ethical or unethical unless you're really find the core motivation of the seller. 

@Jose Diaz  Absolutely agree with you there. I have seen some people try to live their lives in that realm of manipulation & it just saddens me. 
Do any of the books you recommended specifically show an example or exercise on the "PACE PACE PACE LEAD"

Overall, I believe you have to have a great understanding of your surroundings to feel whether or not your stepping over the line. Body language, facial features, & tone of voice will help get a sense of what the person you're talking to is really feeling. 

Originally posted by @Joe Demonte:

@Melodee Lucido  Thanks! There is, in my opinion, a blurry line with thinking it is ethical or unethical unless you're really find the core motivation of the seller. 

@Jose Diaz Absolutely agree with you there. I have seen some people try to live their lives in that realm of manipulation & it just saddens me. 
Do any of the books you recommended specifically show an example or exercise on the "PACE PACE PACE LEAD"

Overall, I believe you have to have a great understanding of your surroundings to feel whether or not your stepping over the line. Body language, facial features, & tone of voice will help get a sense of what the person you're talking to is really feeling. 

 Yes, the books show examples. You will enjoy them. Life slows down when you begin to notice how it works and what you are purposefully doing. 

Remember manipulation is not a bad thing. We all do it, even here on BP we manipulate each others perspectives. Manipulation turns negative when your INTENTION is to take advantage of others. 

Originally posted by @Jose Castillo :

I love this thread

 Glad you commented so it popped back in. Very interesting. 

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