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Posted over 12 years ago

April 1: Announcing Our New Sales Prevention Initiative

 

April 1, 2013, For Immediate Release:

RealData Announces New Sales Prevention Initiative


In an attempt to stem the inexorable tide of its growing popularity, RealData announced today the formation of a new Sales Prevention Department within the company. “Quite simply, it is time for us to take the bull by the tail,” said company founder and President Frank Gallinelli. We can’t allow these sales increases to go unchecked, so we have assembled a new mismanagement team to deal with the problem. Once we get sales under control, we believe we can go from there to put an end to productivity once and for all.”


Heading the new team will be a specialist in customer alienation. According to Gallinelli, the company needs salespeople who are unencumbered by product knowledge or professional expertise, and technical support personnel who can be relied on to provide cryptic and irrelevant responses or to ignore customer questions entirely. “We need to put the ‘us’ back into user-friendly. There’s no room in the software business for customers who can’t take care of themselves.”


Galvanized by their mantra — “Don’t swim with the sharks, float with the flounder!” —-the team has already begun work on the company’s new support infrastructure called, “FAQ – Frequently Avoided Questions.” Said the CEO, “We must strive to please none of the people all of the time.”


The company’s sales prevention initiative is expected to last throughout most of April 1. ;-)


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for investors:


RealData Software
Real Estate Investment Analysis
Commercial / Industrial Development
On Schedule – Subdivision, Land & Condominium Development
Comparative Lease Analysis



Books by Frank Gallinelli


What Every Real Estate Investor Needs to Know About Cash Flow
Mastering Real Estate Investment
10 Commandments for Real Estate Investors
Insider Secrets to Financing Your Real Estate Investments


Comments (3)

  1. Those pesky sales! Thank you Frank for stepping up and helping us keep them in check. Left unattended, they would quickly overtake us all. You have my full support!


  2. Well, you can't just let the threat of runaway sales increases go unchecked. Gotta do what you...etc. Feel free to pass this along to your legions of devoted groupies. Maybe someone besides the two of us needs a break from reality today ;)


  3. Hysterical . . . I really hope you can slow those sales down, Frank. Implementing a mismanagement system is really important on a day like today!