You should get credit, criminal, sexual predator, homeland security and verification of identity.  

“You really wanted to be branded as a sexual offender and have to register as such for the rest of your life?

In Redding, CA the drug addicts shooting up heroin in the parks was so bad rather than arrest them, they removed the playground equipment, and the public libraries in many towns are overrun with sexual predators using the computers.

Being stuck catering to 14 years olds who sexually abused a sibiling will really motivate you to change careers.

I personally find Louis C.K. funny, but that doesn't mean that I advocate or find sexual misconduct funny as well.

A 7 year old misdemeanor possession charge is not a big deal, assuming everything else checks out alright.Applicant must never have plead guilty, plead no contest, received probation, deferred adjudication, court-ordered community supervision, pre-trial diversion, or a have pending charge that has not yet been resolved for a felony of any type nor for a misdemeanor involving violence or sexual misconduct (whether or not resulting in a conviction).

Obviously questions about religion, sexual preference etc. are irrelevant to a landlord and will not come up. 

Doug was at the party, is Tiffany's bestie, sexual relationship unclear but quite probable.The party happened in the downstairs duplex apartment.

Of course I realize lots of people grew up poor, or discriminated against, or had childhoods of divorce or drug abuse or sexual abuse or other things.

Yeah, before this, all I'd ever found was a deck of playing cards with 52 sexual positions on the back.