Rebuilding from Zero after a Divorce

[Michael Del Vecchio]

Hey Bigger Pockets Community! I am new and this is my first post. I am curious if anyone has any stories to share about restarting life and their financial Independence journey in their mid-40s after a divorce. My wife and I are almost done with an amicable divorce. We don't have a lot of assets to split, but I will be receiving about $70,000 that I can use towards life and investing. I had been a stay-at-home dad for the majority of our marriage. I'm restarting my life now. I have a good situation where I work construction and I'm trading a remodeling job for free rent. I also have a micro business installing grab bars and mobility assistance products for the elderly. I regularly work 10 hour days and also have my son 50% of the time. He is a young child with high functioning autism and requires a lot of time and attention. I live in Sonoma County which is about 50 miles north of San Francisco and is a very expensive real estate market. Juices my connection with my son. I don't want to move from that area. 

The great thing about my current situation is that I finally have the freedom to start to use my strengths towards hustles that I want to do! My ex and I had some very different ideas on the ways we wanted to manage our money as I was kean to take risks while she did not want to. She had a good paying job in technology as did her father. He reached his own financial security largely through stock investing and the sale of his parents home in Mill Valley, CA. My wife wanted to take a similar path focused on index funds and did not want to leverage the home we had. 

I've always worked in the service industry or had my own tiny businesses. I have the work ethics but did not have much financial leverage. My parents got involved in real estate investing at the wrong time and ended up going bankrupt during the 2008 crash. I was just out of college then and while the ideas sounded great it seemed impossible for me to pursue anything in real estate investing. However, I knew it was something I wanted to do whenever I was able to do it . I am good with my hands and have always been creative. I've seen real estate investing and the BURR strategy as a perfect way for me to build a career that I would enjoy and could be very financially successful. I'm looking to make new connections and hope to hear stories of others who have gone through a  divorce or other major life event in their mid-40s and are basically restarting their entire financial journey. Mindy and Scott, I think this could be a great episode to do for your Bigger Pockets Money podcast which I listen to a ton and love!

[Melissa Justice]

@Michael Del Vecchio,

Hey, thank you for sharing your story. It takes real courage to open up like this, and it's clear you’ve got the work ethic, mindset, and resilience to build something amazing from here.

You're actually in a unique position:
Free rent = huge advantage for saving/investing.
$70K = a meaningful amount of capital to get your foot in the door.
Construction/remodeling skills = major asset in real estate investing.
Strong motivation tied to your son = powerful fuel for long-term success.

Given everything you’ve shared, I’d recommend starting with a long-term buy-and-hold rental in a market that cash flows well - ideally one where your renovation skills can add equity (without requiring you to move far from your son). You may want to partner with a solid property manager if it’s out of state.

Also, you might consider house hacking if the opportunity arises - buying a small multi-family and living in one unit while renting out the others. That could keep you close to your son while letting you build equity and passive income.

You’re absolutely right - real estate investing can be the perfect blend of creativity, sweat equity, and long-term wealth-building, especially for someone like you. Your background in service and entrepreneurship is an asset, not a liability.

Wishing you all the best and if you ever need help evaluating a deal or choosing a market, don't hesitate to reach out! Best of luck!