I myself am just now coming out of my own fog of self-doubt and worry.
I'm quite successful at investing, by most folks' definition. I don't flip 20 properties a week or own hundreds of rental units, but I've got several really strong rentals with fantastic tenants. Never a big problem. Never an eviction (yet). My biggest flip netted me nearly $200K. That was pretty sweet. (Although it makes a $15K profit on a flip look like chump change. I gotta learn to get over that!)
Then, the last property I purchased, my husband involved himself in the purchase negotiations and agreed to a price higher than I would have paid. He's never done this before and feels awful about it to this day. Anyway, it was done. I hired out all the work for the first time and got royally screwed. Without boring you with all the details, I paid too much for the rehab and let the guys walk all over me--they ended up taking a full year to finish. And in the end, I had to finish up the last 2 weeks of work because they disappeared (jailed for non-payment of child support).
While all of this was going on, my and my husband's family suffered some serious trauma. Without getting too specific, my mom died unexpectedly, another family member contracted emphysema, another succombed to alcoholism, another was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and fought 2 years with chemo before passing away, another had 6 heart attacks in one summer and a stroke the next year . . . Shall I go on? Some of these people lived in our home, so we dealt with these problems face to face, 24/7.
Needless to say, all of this crap stopped me in my tracks. I felt like a failure on my last project, and all of the catastrophies left me waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was afraid that if I bought another property, I would fail at that too. In fact, I was certain of it.
A few things have helped.
I read somewhere (I forget where) that if you focus on what you think will go wrong, you will talk yourself right out of doing anything. It's not that you should ignore your fears--my conservative approach (based mostly on fears!) has usually served me very well. But--and this sounds obvious, but it's true--if you focus on the potential good that can come out of an endeavor, those rewards will help to propel you.
I find I'm often frozen by my fears, or what I call "analyzation paralyzation." I will analyze a deal to death and beyond, to the point that someone else takes it right out from under me. This is partly because I'm mildy ADD. Sometimes, the mountain of steps involved to reach the goal seems insurmountable. So, I have learned to break down my projects into little chunks, or baby steps. If there are 200 things on my to do list today, we all know it's never going to happen. I pick a maximum of 10 things to get done that day, and of those 10, I highlight 3 that must be done before all else. I also tackle the least pleasurable tasks first. That way, they're outta my way and I don't have any reason to procrastinate or worry about them.
Also, my husband has been amazing. I wish I could loan him out. He sat me down and told me that he expects we will have more mistakes and slip-ups and woulda-coulda-shoulda situations down the line. It's bound to happen because we're human, and he's OK with that. Sounds obvious, but until someone actually says it for you, sometimes it doesn't sink in. Once I let myself accept the fact that I'm going to make mistakes and that it's OK, I felt so much better.
It seems I've found a really good local realtor who 'gets' the investor approach. She's been showing me so many deals, I'm not sure I can buy them all!
So I'm focusing on making sure I've got tons of equity in these deals--room for error, if you will--until I get back on my investor's feet again and get myself back up to the level of confidence I used to have.
I'm really excited for the first time in a long time, and a little fear still comes along with the excitement. But it's OK. I'm grateful to be able to voice my fears and share my experience in this little "Bigger Pockets Therapy Group." ;)