Originally posted by "NogginBoink":
Wow. I stumbled across this forum and just had to register in order to reply to this one thread.
Your wife is your life partner. Real estate investing is just money. Going forward with your real estate investing without your wife's approval is going to do nothing but sow distrust and resentment into your marriage. I can't fathom that ANYBODY would advocate doing that.
My wife is also holding me back from investing. What I've done is explained to her why I want to get into REI, and what I think can be accomplished for our family through REI.
I then asked her what her fears are. And by listen, I mean LISTEN! Don't refute each of her concerns. Listen to what she has to say. Some of her concerns may not have any real merit, but they are real to her. Make your wife realize that you want to work WITH her. She's afraid. That's a fact and saying "you shouldn't be afriad" does nothing but marginalize her feelings.
When she's done talking, ensure that you understand her fears. Remember, what she SAYS might not be the root issue. My wife fears losing money. In reality, this is money that she spent years scrimping and saving and has a huge personal investment in. She's afraid of seeing all that work and all that personal sacrifice being lost.
Once you understand each other's points of view and your agendas, you can start to work WITH each other on bridging those gaps.
In the end, though, you have to make your own decision if you can't agree on a course of action together. Me, I'd rather have my wife than a rental house.
"My wife is also holding me back from investing. What I've done is explained to her why I want to get into REI, and what I think can be accomplished for our family through REI."
It doesn't sound like this approach is working out to well for ya.
" then asked her what her fears are. And by listen, I mean LISTEN! Don't refute each of her concerns. Listen to what she has to say. Some of her concerns may not have any real merit, but they are real to her. Make your wife realize that you want to work WITH her. She's afraid. That's a fact and saying "you shouldn't be afriad" does nothing but marginalize her feelings."
Sounds like an awful lot of work.
"When she's done talking, ensure that you understand her fears. Remember, what she SAYS might not be the root issue. My wife fears losing money. In reality, this is money that she spent years scrimping and saving and has a huge personal investment in. She's afraid of seeing all that work and all that personal sacrifice being lost. "
If you have to use your wife's money, then of course you have to ask her for permission.
"In the end, though, you have to make your own decision if you can't agree on a course of action together. Me, I'd rather have my wife than a rental house."
Well this one is debatable. It depends which one will earn more money and is less of a PITA.