I don't really have a network of family or friends with enough capital to help finance anything, I come from the mean greasy streets of East Vancouver and have managed to scrape my way up to where I am by building out lean businesses (mostly online). 

Imagine the worst greasy spoon restaurant you’ve ever seen and compound that by 10.  

When it was all said and done it had the too good to be true feeling and the team members just felt greasy.

For instance having to select from a tenant base of mainly Greasy boots Gary's who work in a factory and might SECRETLY roll their Harley's into the living room to tear down and rebuild the engines might call for a larger deposit, than having to select from a tenant base of retired maids....regarding wear and tear and "Filth"....meaning the average might not be enough if your unit is drawing a tenant type that is HARD on the unit.On the other hand if your unit is having trouble drawing tenants, MAYBE lowing the security below the average for competitors might work.And it's always smart to check references and try to get those who you think will take good care of the place, vs trashing it.Just my 2 cents.

1 million Double Cheeseburgers. 

Therefore, your best bet it to remove the stove and replace it with a microwave (metal door for extra safety).  ...and the greasy curtains near the stove.

If you went to McDonald’s right now and asked them for a double cheeseburger and told them you didn’t have any money, do you think they would make it for you?

If you only have $10 in your pocket it’s much less likely you’ll get an $8 Whopper, you might get a $2 cheeseburger.

Hope and a prayer always help, if not, then a double cheeseburger...

I prefer a thick sheaf of used, greasy bills in a fat little envelope.