When a tenant pays rent EARLY for six months in a row, I send them movie passes.

I have taken to going over and seeing them for 15-20 minutes, together with a small house warming gift ($20 budget, orchids from Costco are a favorite, as are gift certificates for bookstores and movie tickets).

I wouldn't use Zumper simply based on the fact that the name does not inspire confidence lol.It sounds like a cross between a pajama party and the Bambi movie.

Movies have been made about the subject to further dra­matize it.

I've had some rentals that are 2% or even 3% rule, but I've never seen a $500,000 house in my area rent for $15,000 a month.A friend of mine does rent short term, all inclusive condo rentals to movie stars and other famous people like professional athletes. 

Had hands on their guns, and the spread out across the front yard - like what you would see in a movie.

It's not fair and you'll have an argument on your hands.Noise - tell them they are expected to listen to music and movies and TV or whatever - with headphones.They must have their own phone.Laundry - have laundry rules if you have laundry facilities.Advertise for commuters, if you have a market for that - people who need a place to rent during the week for their job, but have a home they go to on weekends.Advertise for med or law students  - they are quiet and just want a quiet room where they can study.Another good roommate option is a fireman/woman.  

You making a movie?

(See Pacific Heights-the movie)  People who are in Possession of the home without a lease agreement, or listed as Occupants, are "Squatters".  

I say that because you can buy yourself a mansion for $300,000 with a 3 car garage, a movie theater and a pool.