We really thought we had a good deal with a lot of cushion, but we made bad choices and gave our contractor too much time and trust.

Meeting new people through zoom and calls will help, but in my experience the real connections and made and trust built when working in person. 

Starting with a smaller multi (4–8 units) in a strong area lets you gain hands-on experience with management, tenant turnover, and minor rehabs while building relationships with a property manager, lender, and CPA you trust.

I trusted her to do the paperwork correctly with an attorney, and comes to pass I was "and business partner" in all the paperwork and the attorney won't even talk to me without her stating I'm the partner. 

That’s way cleaner, way less chaos.As for out-of-state, that ='s high trust, high risk without the right team.

This would be illegal unless the loans were already assigned over to the Lender and held in escrow or trust at custodian. 

I work with both out-of-state and international clients regularly and know how crucial it is to have boots on the ground you can trust!

Trusting your contractor is the key part in a successful reno. 

@Deborah Wodell a lender should evaluate past flips using public data to verify whether to trust 

Trust the data you see (income, employment history, etc) but also your gut, do you feel good about that person?