I'm a little gun shy in that I'm not used to dealing with point of sale provisions...and my understanding is the area is spotty with relation to experiences like yours.  

Sounds like you're elephant hunting with a BB gun. 

If I'm getting a HELOC or HEL I know the process takes a while, and I should probably get this started, but I don't want to jump the gun, especially since I haven't done any negotiations with the seller on the price (and the lender/seller know each other).

Banks want to minimize their risk, so if you show them that you are successful at the landlording thing, they will enthusiastically lend to you for 2, 3, 4 properties thereafter.

Well, this time of year thieves are out in full force, and not one but two of my friends were robbed at gun point right in their homes - and that was just yesterday.

For you privy enthusiasts please note this is a deluxe double-barrelled "two-holer".And I still can't figure out how to rotate my images....

I'll offer $0.25 on the dollar for what you have.Then you can use the proceeds to buy tinfoil and guns and rations for your bunker. 

I could have easily sprayed texture on it with the texture gun to match the knock down pattern that is in place on the rest of the wall.

Chattanooga is surrounded by rivers, lakes and mountains (TONS of woods), and is a mecca for outdoor enthusiasts. 

You're right where you want to be, enthusiastic about real estate, and getting paid for a full-time job.