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Updated 7 days ago on . Most recent reply
Elderly Neighbor in an expensive and out of reach market
Hello Everyone,
I’ve developed a friendly relationship with an elderly neighbor who lives alone and doesn’t seem to have any close family. She owns a two-family house that’s likely worth around $1 million based on the market and size. Over time, I’ve become someone she trusts, even though others in the neighborhood tend to avoid her.
She currently occupies both units, and I want to explore ways to help her stay in her home for life — without displacement or pressure — while also potentially securing the opportunity to purchase the property in the future, either after she passes or if she ever chooses to sell.
Ideally, I’d love to find a solution where:
- She can remain in the home for as long as she wants.
- I can legally and ethically gain the right to purchase the property or have it pass to me in the future.
- Everything is done fairly and transparently — with her best interest protected, and without any predatory angle.
What kinds of legal or financial arrangements could make this possible? Should I suggest a life estate, right of first refusal, or help her set up a will or trust? I’d appreciate insight from anyone who has experience with estate planning, real estate law, or similar situations.
Most Popular Reply
This is a really thoughtful situation and it’s good you’re thinking about it the right way. In NYC, there are a few ways to structure this while keeping everything above board and protective of your neighbor.
One clean option is having her set up a will that leaves the property to you. Wills are simple, but they can be contested and they go through probate, which can be a pain.
If she wants something smoother, she could create a trust (like a revocable living trust), where she stays in the house for life and it passes to you after — this avoids probate and can be set up to fully protect her until death.
Another route is a life estate, where she transfers ownership now but keeps the right to live there for life. This gives you a future interest, but it’s a big decision since it can’t be undone easily.
Some people like it because it can’t be changed later on if outside family suddenly shows up, but it also has Medicaid implications if she ever needs long-term care assistance.
A softer approach could be having her give you a “right of first refusal,” meaning if she ever decides to sell, you get first dibs at matching the price.
You could also draft a simple option agreement to buy the property at a certain price in the future, but that’s usually done with some upfront consideration.
Honestly, the most important step is having her talk to a good elder law attorney who’s focused on her best interests.
You could offer to help her find one or go with her, but it’s got to come from her side so it’s 100% ethical and defensible.
Your heart’s in the right place. If it’s about protecting her and you’re patient, the trust or will route probably makes the most sense without rushing anything.