Not an investor yet but still QUITTING JOB on Monday! NEED guidance!

38 Replies

I wish I can communicate by written word what I am fully going through mentally right now...the stress...the anguish...the confusion...the pain of the realization of time wasted (11 years as a temp?).  I am not sure I can express it.

The smart thing to do is to look for other employment before quitting one's job but I really do not have a choice. I really did want to learn REI while maintaining the job somehow. The situation though has gotten so bad at work that if I continue on there, I will end up either saying or doing something I would regret or get physically sick. In fact, my health has already started to slip because of the stress.

So, after 11 years of working at an office job in NY that I increasingly came to despise, this past Friday the 5th I reached a breaking point.  It was that one last bit of unwarranted verbal abuse that committed me into quitting the job.  I haven't technically quit the job yet.  Executive Management was in a meeting late into the evening so I decided to let it ride the weekend with the thought that perhaps I will calm down and change my mind.

I haven't.  Monday should be interesting.

So after that long intro I am left with what to do now.  I've been lurking on the forums as well as listening to some of the podcasts (will listen to all) and reading the BP beginner's guide (not finished yet) for a few months now to try to get a handle on what would be reasonable short term and long term goals.  It's taken months because part of MY MIND has been held captive doing things like building an agency budget, problem solving situations on the fly in an accounts payable unit, dealing with all the constant miscellaneous problems that walk into the office, all while dealing with the most surreal, television sitcom like hostile office politics one can imagine.....can not deal with it anymore!  But I digress.

Looking for options, I am drowning under the shear volume of knowledge that this site collectively contains.  Until I can clear my head so I can properly focus I wouldn't mind some guidance, some help in determining a 5 year plan for myself.  I've got $30k in savings (possibly more depending on an investment).  Here are some things I am considering:

Should I stay in NY or move to Florida?

Did I mention that the owner of the apartment triplex in Brooklyn the family has rented and which I have lived for over 25 years wants to sell because he's tired? http://www.biggerpockets.com/forums/311/topics/186...

If you're wondering, I'm not interested in buying it (long story).

The folks are in Florida already. It's a lot of stress dealing with them but perhaps an idea is for me to take a few weeks off, visit them in Orlando, and get a sense of the potential in the area for investing. I have to move anyway so why not just give up on NY and move to Orlando? I can stay by the folks for a couple months (they're begging me to come) until I can purchase my first house hack...as they say. What about a triplex...quad? I would need to use an FHA 403k loan or 203k for a rehab. And yes, I realize there are a lot of details loaded in those last 3 sentences.

Take a look at this link: https://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/cities/best-places...

Housing prices in general are lower in FL than the crazy prices of NY so I think my chances of eventual success would be greater down south.  It might be easier in FL to find and take advantage of opportunities.

I must say though, that I am open to staying in New York....or even another state than Florida if I can get some good ideas.

My ongoing education

I don't want to immediately dig into savings heavily hence the move in with the folks.  I want to save as much as I can before I am ready to execute on a couple of basic strategies I want to focus on: buy and hold/house hack or a house flip.  So, if I were to study and get my RE license and try my hand at being an agent, that might be a way I can earn something while learning what's going on in the field.  Of course, I am going to finish read all of the books I acquired here at biggerpockets (beginners guide, Brandon's books, J. Scott's books) along with others.  Perhaps now I can finally focus on them thoroughly.

Working with partners/mentors

I do not want to start my venture by myself.  It is critical that I am able to network and work with professionals/entrepreneurs who have already met or exceeded their goals in the field and whom would help me greatly to teach me the basics and to keep me accountable to my goals.  Through biggerpockets I hope to make such contacts in the local market as well as find the right REIAs.

So what are my goals?

What are my goals indeed?  What do I want?  I am not entirely sure yet.  I can tell you what I don't want....I don't want to be rich.  I don't want the stress that goes along with pursuing millions of dollars and that can change you.  Yet at the same time, I'm not looking to invest "for my retirement" at least not yet.  I do have some ambition...some drive left in me.  My goals financially are to keep things simple.  I need a little financial independence so I can start thinking clearly for myself...truly...finally.  Life isn't all about money. 

I think Chad Carson's blog post on the small, simple business model describes it the best: http://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/?p=72775

I apologize for the long post but it isn't really long as compared to all the details I am considering in my head.  It has taken me several hours to write this post and I have had to force myself to focus and condense my thoughts.  

So I am going to stop here.  

I really REALLY need as much constructive feedback as I can because I am going to quit the job tomorrow morning.  I am not going to end up like my colleagues one of which just had a stroke and the other who died of a heart attack a couple months ago (he was 6 years younger than me).

Thank you all for your consideration.

First off, you should not quit your job until you have a concrete plan of action that you are capable of managing. Second, under no circumstance should you quit and with no experience in REI believe you are going to immediately jump in and viably support yourself.

Glad you have reached your "I've had it" moment @Conway Churaman !  That's when real change happens!  Most people don't and spend a life of mediocrity. 

However, like @Mark Cruse points out, we need to be running towards something concrete, not just away from something that sucks.  Don't jump off the boat you're on before you are closer to the dock.

When I am belittled by a superior, it helps to know that we all do the best we can for what we are thinking and feeling at the time. Is that the best your boss can do? Laughable. No better way to vent their little tantrums, no leadership skills, just a Barney Fife of his little temp gig? Sad, really. Put up with it as long as you can while you say "I've had it!" and dig into REI or whatever you choose to do with your life with gusto! Start a new chapter wisely.

Quitting your job will make it impossible to get a mortgage thus ending your real estate career before it starts. I'm not telling you to stay in a job you hate but think you need to stay working there while looking for a better job and during that time keep reading and learning. Maybe find a job doing something to combine your real estate desires such as working for a property manager or an assistant to real estate agent. Your jumping off the dock when the boat is still out of reach! Best of luck whatever you do

Hello

Time to slow down and chill. You should figure out where you want to live then look into your options. Sometime a new start and new place work great and other times staying where you are is good. Take a couple of weeks off to slow down and look at all your option before you jump into your new life.

Thank You

Tommy

@Conway Churaman Like others have pointed it might be premature to stop working before you have more concrete plan than you want to do something in RE. I think your 30K in saving would vanish very quickly if you lived of it or made a mistake when investing. Also like others said you will not get loans with out a job.

If you hate this job find another job (may be in RE). Studying for an agent could be a good thing but do this while you work (even part time is fine). 

Good luck.

Conway

I am new at this myself I know the feelings of excitment and fear. you can make it anywhere in any market but you must first learn the local game. 

The first thing you will need is stability to lay your foundation. You have 30k saved sounds like a great start, a good down payment with a little left over for a lipstick rehab in a cheap market. You will need a job real income stable income to acquire your loan for your triplex. 

My advice keep the job sit down Monday night and calculate your imediate financial needs. Keep the job so your can get your loans for property. Take an RE course so you feel like your doing something for yourself to make you happy and gradually move away from the undesired job. 

You can make it but you need a calm couple of months of planning before you burn the boats. 

I work three jobs myself I am a paramedic I am a firefighter and I am a contractor. Remodeling bathrooms for local flippers. I work 100 hours a week and save everything I can.  Someday I will only be working for myself but the time has not come to burn my boats. Every plan takes time. 

@Conway Churaman Some good advice from others here. It is unanimous, don't quit your job.

I will be very honest, if you quit a job because you were having disagreements with your boss or co-workers that were not actually criminal offences, I would not hire you, and neither would any hiring manager I know. This is the equivalent of an eviction for a renter.

Verbal abuse sucks. But how you react to it is what either lets you excel or makes you crumble.

On the bright side, you've been doing this for 11 years, and you must have become an expert at what you do. I am sure your company has competitors, and that you have contacts into those companies. So, should not be that hard to land yourself a new job.

REI is not easy. Especially in this super hot market. With $30K in the bank and no W2, your options to get going in REI are going to be extremely limited.

Originally posted by @Radhika M. :

@Conway Churaman Like others have pointed it might be premature to stop working before you have more concrete plan than you want to do something in RE. I think your 30K in saving would vanish very quickly if you lived of it or made a mistake when investing. Also like others said you will not get loans with out a job.

If you hate this job find another job (may be in RE). Studying for an agent could be a good thing but do this while you work (even part time is fine). 

Good luck.

 I realize I won't get loans without a job but it will not be with this current job.  I am done.  I can not function anymore where I am.  I am getting sick.  I will die if stay there.  Do you think I want it like this?  Of course I wanted to continue to work there while I continued to study real estate but it's just not working.  I was considering house hacking in NY using the job now that is all up in the air.

Perhaps I can start all over again like I did 20 years ago and work for a temp agency again while I study for an agent's license.  Or I can work part time at a RE office.  Part time in fact is probably the way I would be going considering I may be sharing a place with the folks in FL to save on expenses.  No I don't intend on living off the savings.  I know all this will be hard...very hard.  It's just that I don't want to be reading this post a year from now and I'm in the same situation I'm in now. 

Even if I were able to stay at my current job my situation is going to become worse.  Some how I have to find some place to live in NY with a similar rent to what I am paying currently.  And After 11 years I have no guarantee I will be working there.  I have no recourse as a temp, I can be let go at any moment.

 No more 9to5 drudgery coming home too tired to study.  I've got to make a change, now, this year, this week! 

Originally posted by @Michael Delpier :

@Conway Churaman Some good advice from others here. It is unanimous, don't quit your job.

I will be very honest, if you quit a job because you were having disagreements with your boss or co-workers that were not actually criminal offences, I would not hire you, and neither would any hiring manager I know. This is the equivalent of an eviction for a renter.

Verbal abuse sucks. But how you react to it is what either lets you excel or makes you crumble.

On the bright side, you've been doing this for 11 years, and you must have become an expert at what you do. I am sure your company has competitors, and that you have contacts into those companies. So, should not be that hard to land yourself a new job.

REI is not easy. Especially in this super hot market. With $30K in the bank and no W2, your options to get going in REI are going to be extremely limited.

 I've become an expert at a job I do not enjoy and never did.  And, it's actually a city agency that I work for...as a temp.  It's more than simply verbal abuse.  I can not put any more energy into a job I never wanted in the first place.  I am willing to get or look for yet more temporary employment so I can transition to something else.  Disagreements you say.  I am a slave at a place where people get their jobs because of political connections and the managers are afraid of some of their own employees.  I need to escape.

@Conway Churaman

 I can feel your struggle through your post. I understand you do not want to work in your current company and that is fine.  Like @Michael Delpier suggested above go to another company.  

If you can take some time off for a week or two and then find another position. This can be even in Florida if that is where you plan to start investing.  If you have 11 years of experience you should be able to find something even at a pay cut.

Please know that none of us are suggesting you not make a change or stick with your job. what we are saying is be cautious and have a plan.

Originally posted by @Steve Vaughan :

Glad you have reached your "I've had it" moment @Conway Churaman !  That's when real change happens!  Most people don't and spend a life of mediocrity. 

However, like @Mark Cruse points out, we need to be running towards something concrete, not just away from something that sucks.  Don't jump off the boat you're on before you are closer to the dock.

When I am belittled by a superior, it helps to know that we all do the best we can for what we are thinking and feeling at the time. Is that the best your boss can do? Laughable. No better way to vent their little tantrums, no leadership skills, just a Barney Fife of his little temp gig? Sad, really. Put up with it as long as you can while you say "I've had it!" and dig into REI or whatever you choose to do with your life with gusto! Start a new chapter wisely.

 I had the "I've had it" moment months ago.  I was already tired and battle worn and considering a change almost a year ago when things got even worse with the new supervisor.  Yes, I know I want to jump from the boat when the dock isn't close enough.  That's why I want to jump to a nearby buoy and survive long enough to reach the dock!

That's what I'm hoping you guys would get.  Can someone help me more to iron out some ideas along those lines?  The point is that I should be working and not using my savings needlessly.

Originally posted by @Chuck Allen :

Conway

I am new at this myself I know the feelings of excitment and fear. you can make it anywhere in any market but you must first learn the local game. 

The first thing you will need is stability to lay your foundation. You have 30k saved sounds like a great start, a good down payment with a little left over for a lipstick rehab in a cheap market. You will need a job real income stable income to acquire your loan for your triplex. 

My advice keep the job sit down Monday night and calculate your imediate financial needs. Keep the job so your can get your loans for property. Take an RE course so you feel like your doing something for yourself to make you happy and gradually move away from the undesired job. 

You can make it but you need a calm couple of months of planning before you burn the boats. 

I work three jobs myself I am a paramedic I am a firefighter and I am a contractor. Remodeling bathrooms for local flippers. I work 100 hours a week and save everything I can.  Someday I will only be working for myself but the time has not come to burn my boats. Every plan takes time. 

 Planning takes clear thought.  I haven't been able to think clearly in a very long time.  Solid planning?  Okay sure...of course in fact!  Why does it have to be this job?

Conway,

It sucks working on a job you hate.  However, I have come to an understanding that no one can make you upset.  Happiness or sadness is within your state of mind.  Don't allow others make you upset.  Instead, allow it to come in one ear and out the other.  If you're not letting others get to you, it will get to them.  If they let you go, you collect unemployment for 6 months while preparing for your new life/career adventure.  Do you believe everything in life happens for a reason?

Let me ask you.... What is your passion?  What would you like to do with your life?  Let me share with you a story.

I attended graduate school in 1999 while I was working full-time.  My favorite college professor made a comment that changed my life.  He said "if I look on your nightstand, I can tell you what you should be doing with your life."  I went home, looked on my nightstand and saw three real estate books.  That was my AHA moment.  However, I continued to finish my degree while working a full-time job and reading real estate books and running my real estate analyses at nights and on weekends. 

Real estate market was hot during those years.  I patiently waited and waited and waited until the opportunity presented itself in 2008.  The housing market started to crash.  I went in a little premature in summer 2008, but recognized the opportunity once in a lifetime and went all-in in 2009.  That was 10 years of waiting and it has paid off.  

I hope you get the moral of the story.  Take a look on your nightstand.  Is that something you like to do with your life? As they say.....Do what you love and the money will follow.  If you do it for the money, money will escape you.  Is real estate really your passion, or are you going into it for the money? 

Before you decide to give your boss a middle finger tomorrow and kiss your job good bye, I'd like to leave you with this quote from Master Oogway "Your mind is like this water my friend.  When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see.  But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear."  

Whatever you decide to do tomorrow, I hope it's the right decision.  

Best of luck.

@Conway Churaman

I completely know where you are coming from. I am currently counting down the hours until I have to clock into my Cubicle, AKA "land where dreams go to DIE". I have been at my company for almost 9 years. It takes every a miracle from God to keep me from quitting. And it's not even like a daily miracle, I would call it an hourly act of God! I mean I hate this place with a passion. So just know that you are not alone.

One thing that really helped me keep a grip on my sanity was a book called Quitter. Its from a guy named Jon Acuff, and he is not to different from you and I. He actually had quite 6 jobs in less than 8 years before finally figuring out what he wanted to do. He has some great advice straight from the fox holes. You can read the first chapter for free on amazon. 

http://www.amazon.com/Quitter-Closing-Between-Your...

Give it a try and Im sure you'll wanna read more. Its a quick easy read and the guys is hilarious. 

Any ways I know you already received a lot of great suggestions. I also believe that you should grit your teeth together, walk back into the office and give them hell! (in a good employee/ your not going to push me out of here type of way). I know you can do it cause in 6 hours 10 minutes I have to do it. Keep up the fight bro, we can make it!

  

As hard as it is for me to say, Don't Quit! I totally understand. I wish I could have quit working the day I fell in love with REI but life just doesn't work that way for me and neither for others. There is some great advice on this thread. You might find that once you start to do a little more with RE you may have a little more tolerance for your job because you are happy about your new ventures.

Yasmine Bisumber, Real Estate Agent in FL (#3340998)

@Conway Churaman Minh gave some great advice. If they let you go (layoff or fired) you can collect unemployment. @Minh Le

I am not an advocate of unemployment in most circumstances but your case may be an exception.

You asked for a clear plan. Here it is:

Step 1. Go to work on Monday with a new attitude. One that is not aggressively confrontational, but not afraid of confrontational.You need to be a professional.  In your mind, your job is already a lost cause, so who cares if they fire you. Use this to your advantage. 

If you get verbally abused,find a time very quickly where you can privately "give some feedback". Simply state with as little emotion as possible, what they did or said, how that made you feel, and how it affects the performance of the workplace. For example; "Hey Bob, can I have a few minuets of your time after the meeting?" (when in private) "Bob, you said "XXX" I feel this was a little out of line for a professional establishment. These comments make me feel unappreciated an frustrated. This affects my performance and the bottom line of the company. Could we find a new way to communicate your thoughts without me feeling verbally abused?"

Who cares if he does not take this well or wants you to just man up. You will feel much better.

Step 2. Look for a new job ASAP! An unemployed person looks bad to potential employers and to banks. For you, look both in NY and in Florida. If they fire you, your path is set and you move with your parents. I would hire a fired person over someone who just quit out of frustration.

Step 3. Move to the new job and ditch the toxic past. DO NOT LET IT ENTER YOUR NEW JOB. Take time between jobs if necessary. but not more than 3 weeks.

Step 4. With your new job and clear head, start your real estate education and path into REI.

Step 5. Enjoy your life. Don't wait until your vacations and or retirement to enjoy. Have fun on the journey. And when you make millions :) send me a few bucks.

Step one is a big one. It is a complete change of attitude that lets you react in a positive way when given the same negative input you are currently getting. Take a completely different way to work to help get you in a new attitude. As Minh said, Let your mind be the calm water so you can see clearly.

So you worked for 11 years as a temp?   Why?   Especially if you hated it so much.   I'm not sure how it works in NY, but in Texas you work for a temp agency, if you don't like it, they find you another job.   Why didn't you find a "full time" job in those 11 years rather than stay on as a temp at a place you hate and don't say the economy or some other excuse.   I think you have other issues at hand that need dealing with before you attempt a career in real estate, because real estate will be harder than your real job and you'll deal with personalities and situations similar or worse than your current job, especially at first until you accumulate some experience.   If I were you, I'd find a job where you family is in Florida, maybe at another temp agency for the time being.    Then quit your job and live with your family for a while until you get settled in and proceed from there.  

Having just left a job last year with $30k in savings to move back to the USA I know how fast it disappears. You have some money, but not enough to buy real estate and you're quitting the only thing that qualifies you to get that real estate. You have very little REI knowledge. As you said, you are "...reading the BP beginner's guide (not finished yet) for a few months now." A FEW MONTHS? If that is the pace of your passion then you are in for a very painful learning experience. Not that it is a bad thing. People tend to remember the painful lessons better than the easy ones.

I see a lot of good advice here, but then I see you saying, "Yes, but that's not what I WANT you to say."

Best of luck with your decision. All options are good if you play your cards right. Remember that the only one that mandates how you feel is you.

Thank you for continuing to respond all of you collectively.  I struggled with what I was going to do Monday up until the early morning hours.  I agonized all weekend.  Until I wrote my original post of this thread I was going to quit absolutely for sure.  It is taking all my powers of restraint but I have decided not to quit at this time.  

I'm telling you all right now though that I am on the cliff's edge.  I'm taking it literally hour by hour.  I will read all the latest posts in depth when I get off for lunch.  Thanks.

Quit already!! And never tell people you quit because you couldn't handle it. Tell the real story. You quit to move to FL with your parents and start a new life in a new state. Create a proper back story then get off the sad train and move on with life. All this hang in there and just endure is crap. You have your parents (shelter) and 30k - do a seminar or two. Walk on fire with Tony Robbins - that should snap you out of your funk - at least until you can figure out how to guide your own life. We all need a break. Heck I've done it for months twice (traveled the states and world). Now, I command a hefty salary and only last an average of 2 yrs per job - contracting usually pays the best and has a no-strings attached understanding. Corporate America will never stop hiring and people quit jobs all the time because co-workers make them sick. Change it up and NEVER tell a story that will trash your ability to get hired again. Take a vacation. Read, study and give RE a try. Truthfully, you just need some time to clear your head. IMHO, RE won't be it for you. Many wolfs in Sheep clothing looking to get a hold of your 30k. Not trying to be negative but if your sensitive RE will hurt your feelings. Unlike all the other advice. Quit - relax - and think twice about RE (it's not for the faint of heart). Read one or a few of the thousands of self-help books. Find an inspiration and attend a seminar. It will change your life.
Originally posted by @Bryan O. :

Having just left a job last year with $30k in savings to move back to the USA I know how fast it disappears. You have some money, but not enough to buy real estate and you're quitting the only thing that qualifies you to get that real estate. You have very little REI knowledge. As you said, you are "...reading the BP beginner's guide (not finished yet) for a few months now." A FEW MONTHS? If that is the pace of your passion then you are in for a very painful learning experience. Not that it is a bad thing. People tend to remember the painful lessons better than the easy ones.

I see a lot of good advice here, but then I see you saying, "Yes, but that's not what I WANT you to say."

Best of luck with your decision. All options are good if you play your cards right. Remember that the only one that mandates how you feel is you.

Yes a few months.  I can't study RE while I'm working on budget reports all night.  I can't study RE while I'm holding my head shell shocked from the screaming.  I should have finished all of the BP books by now and more but I havent.

all good advice, conway. the experts will tell you not to quit your job until you have reached financial security. thats true enough. however, there are exceptions to every rule. first of all, $30k is going to get you no where in nyc. i am sure you know that. however, $30k might get you a great start somewhere else. here in buffalo, prices are pretty good. the market is good, and $30k would get you far. usually starting out is hard and you would need a back up plan like having a job. but whose to say that you couldn't quit your job now, move elsewhere and get another job. you lasted 11 years as a temp so you have staying power. no one says you can't get another job, in another location, start investing and do both for a while. i say it is time for you to pull up your roots in nyc, go somewhere else, and replant yourself in a manner that YOU approve of. good luck to you

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