Engaging Your Spouse

9 Replies

How do you communicate with your spouse the benefits of investing in rental properties when they are as conservative with money as it comes; like let's sit on $50k cash conservative?

I understand that we have our own risk tolerances, but it seems impossible for us to invest in rental properties that generate supplemental income because of a low-risk tolerance.

Perhaps it's a big picture discussion and there will need to be compromises from both sides but I wanted to see if anyone else has had to educate/convince their spouse of the benefits of rental properties.

Thanks for your insight.

the biggest risk mitigator of all is INFORMATION.

Real estate is NOT VERY RISKY and people who think it is, are generally under-informed about the process and how to navigate the system. As you and your wife understand more, you'll be less likely to make emotional risk analysis and feel more confident to execute your plan.

Risk is to be managed, not feared! People who don't invest because they are 'conservative' are taking the highest risk of all.

Cory, that's a great Q because I just watched Phil's video on YouTube about personal finance where he compares Ramsey, Orman & Kiyosaki and brings up his most valuable resource, The Millionaire Mind by the PhD who interviewed, researched & studied over 700 millionaires most from two to $10M. He noted that a supportive spouse was in the Top 5 reasons for success for the millionaires, many of whom invest in real estate.

One way to introduce new info. to people is to quote or provide the research, such as the books these millionaires have written, so the info. is coming from then as opposed to you.

Here's the link and I hope it helps:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Irsjjeaa73Y

It might carry more weight if you keep it coming from others-can you get her personally involved more? Maybe join BP and watch some podcasts? Avoid any over the top snake oil pitches and there are more than a few. Also some conservatism as a balance is not a bad thing either. Once she sees income her attitude will change; just have to get that first pickle out of the jar!

@Cory Harris would it be possible to buy a small property just in your name so she doesn’t feel as much at risk? Use a portion of your savings for a down payment and then she can still have a hefty savings so it doesn’t feel like a huge risk?

I was already a rookie landlord when I met my hubby and once he saw the returns he became more open to investing himself.

Another way to dip in less scarily is to simply rent out your current home or house hack - find a duplex and live in one side or a SFH with a basement apartment?

Send articles and videos as well, eventually she might catch the investor bug too

@Cory Harris I agree with @Ericka G. Do one yourself and maybe she'll become more comfortable with the concept of REI. I'm not sure if you have the ability to save money not allocated to your household expenses. I set aside a large portion of my excess income that I use for investing.

A lot of the people I talk to who are engineers and IT guys usually do not wear the pants at home. I tell them that results speak. Buy one rental and ask for the next one.

@Cory Harris see if she will read books about real estate investing. She can start with the book Rich Dad Poor dad. Then read The Millionaire real estate investor.There are many other real estate investing books out .  You both can attend local real estate investing meetups to learn more about the current market and real estate investing. The challenge right now is that CA is at the top of a real estate cycle so a person really has to purchase at the right price or buy out of state. If you guys purchase a rental six years ago, you would have a ton of equity and she would have been telling you to buy more. Just dont pay 25k to a so called real estate guru to teach you about real estate investing. 

Wondering if there was any update to this thread. My spouse WANTS to be supportive, but at this point is not interested in learning about risk mitigation - she mostly views RE as being 90% risk and 10% reward. Comforting to see that I'm not the only one, but was wondering if there was any movement on it.

@Cory Harris

Cory, my wife and I are very conservative with our money.  I feel this is a good thing when it comes to investing.

For us to get on the same page regarding investing in real estate, I had to show her how we were financially secure enough to be able to do so.   

For my wife security was the name of the game.

I was able to show her what amount of risk we would be able to handle if the bottom dropped out of our investments.  I was also able to show her that if we busted on our investment properties that it would not affect our current living situation or life style, we wold not have to file bankruptcy, we would not be down and out.  If you can do this for her I believe she will come around.  

Guarantee her your financial security and she will get on board. 

Good luck!

Free eBook from BiggerPockets!

Ultimate Beginner's Guide Book Cover

Join BiggerPockets and get The Ultimate Beginner's Guide to Real Estate Investing for FREE - read by more than 100,000 people - AND get exclusive real estate investing tips, tricks and techniques delivered straight to your inbox twice weekly!

  • Actionable advice for getting started,
  • Discover the 10 Most Lucrative Real Estate Niches,
  • Learn how to get started with or without money,
  • Explore Real-Life Strategies for Building Wealth,
  • And a LOT more.

Lock We hate spam just as much as you

Create Lasting Wealth Through Real Estate

Join the millions of people achieving financial freedom through the power of real estate investing

Start here