How to overcome the newbie jitters.

Question

Good Day Folks,

I attended a very good meetup last night in Baltimore that left me feeling even more sure that this is what I want to do (if that's even possible). Anyway, I didn't do much networking. There's a two part reason for that. The first part is because I am a little shy when put into unfamiliar situations. The second, and more important, reason is because I still don't' feel knowledgable enough to hold conversations with others about REI. I know the basics and may be slighting myself on how much I do know, but it is still rather intimidating. Any suggestions on how to overcome this?

J Scott · Answer

I went to a Dave Lindahl seminar earlier this year, and there was a guy who gave a 45 minute presentation on how to network.  I remember him getting up there, and I was thinking to myself, "Ugh...do I really have to sit through 45 minutes of someone telling me how to hand my business card to someone?"

Long story short, 45 minutes later -- after being thoroughly entertained and educated -- I wanted to take that guy to lunch to pick his brain even more!  He made me realize that networking isn't about business (at least not primarily) -- it's about people.

When you start to think about networking as an opportunity to get to know people and to figure out how you can help *them* (as opposed to how they can help *you*), your entire perspective changes.  Suddenly, you're not talking to someone, trying to impress them and constantly evaluating whether you're wasting your time or not...if you're genuinely interested in learning about someone and are genuinely interested in finding out how you may be able to help them, you start to realize that it's more about what you HEAR, and not about what you SAY.

You ask questions and really listen to the answers.  And people like you and me (introverts), it's often easier to listen than it is to talk.

Btw, I remember you sitting in the front row last night.  Next month, I hope you'll find me and introduce yourself.  We can both practice our networking...  :)

Ibrahim Hughes · Answer

I'm also an introvert by nature. What helped me overcome it (14 years in the biz and 20 years networking while in business and I still struggle with it) was Dale Carnegie's book 'How To Win Friends & Influence People'. In the book, Carnegie makes the point that @Andrew Syrios made in his post: the best way to network with someone is to get them talking about themselves, their accomplishments, how they got started, their kids etc.  Listen, learn and take mental notes.

Carla Patterson · Answer

@Nilesh Makhija thanks for that advice! @Ned Carey , J Scott, and Terry Royce were very inspiring. You brought up a good point  they didn't know it a from day one. I can be somewhat of a perfectionist so I'd hate to say something  not intelligent. But deep breaths and I'm going to do better next time. What I also found interesting is that I read  on here about networking and what it truly means, many people walked up to me offered a card and walked away. I chuckled in my mind thinking of all the messages on here that say DONT do that. It's a learning experience I suppose.

Account Closed  thanks for that. I have section 8 experience but I'm learning that my knowledge may not be as easily transferable because it's mainly through  project based or the housing authority. But I do have  a  gift for talking to people I just will learn to use confidence.

Paul Timmins · Answer

@Carla Patterson

You are there to meet people and learn what they are doing. Ask them what they are doing and 2 more questions keeping them talking people like talking about themselves. Eventually they will ask you what you are doing that is you chance for your practiced 30 second commercial.

Your sec 8 experience should open the door for discussion.

Paul

Joe Demonte · Answer

@J  Scott comes off as an extrovert by the way he writes his posts. He just has a great way of writing stories, his experiences, and has a great way of explaining his point. I would presume persistence has helped with overcoming some of the introvert  traits.

@Carla Patterson I would suggest just asking & talking about the other person your networking with to help warm you up to them. That way your able to get an insight on their backgrounds and interests & see where you may align in helping them for a mutual benefit. I guess it just piggybacks off J's point, but it has helped me in meeting people I thought were intimidating.

Pawan W. · Answer

@Carla Patterson I got there late myself and did not get a chance to network but I did the last meeting and it was great to meet the diverse set of resources that show up at these meetings.

You build confidence as you execute..so my recommendation is if you can make a deal happen and keep on moving forward.

BTW, @J  Scott , Ned and Terry did a great job last night.

Nilesh Makhija · Answer

@Carla Patterson - When you listened to @Ned Carey  and @J Scott (I know they were planning to speak), did you think they knew everything from the day they started. Initially everyone takes baby steps and then they crawl, walk and run.

When you ask a speific question, many people will discount you for the newbie question and still answer the same question. How many times do you think same questions are discussed financing, LLC's, how to find deals, realtors, contractors etc. But still experts like the speakers yesterday patiently answer those.

One thing I would recommend is feel free to ask questions and post it on forum. Many a times we are hesitant to post a question, but surprisingly you will find there are lot of ways to answer the question and its always to get to have multiple perspectives.

Also would recommend reading How do I find a Mentor?

Carla Patterson · Answer

Thanks everyone! This post helped a lot. I feel a lot less intimidated than I did this morning. You guys rock! @J  Scott I will definitely come introduce myself next month!

Ibrahim Hughes · Answer

Also, life and success are about struggle. Nothing naturally grows to the next level without struggling in their current level.  Caterpillars, fetuses in the womb, entrepreneurs, Brown Belts in Karate, babies learning how to walk.....all have to leave their comfort zones and struggle to get to the next level. With time, effort and practice your struggle will pay off. Recognize your current comfort zone and work to emerge from it and on to the next level.

Andrew Syrios · Answer

You will be very surprised how willing most people are to talk about their experience. In some ways, you have an advantage being a newbie because you have the opportunity to make other people feel important. If you make them feel important (i.e. that you're getting a lot of education out of what they're saying), most investors will talk your ear off about real estate if you let them.

How to overcome the newbie jitters.

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