Negative Nellys

13 Replies

What do you say to the naysayers? And what if that naysayer is your spouse? My thought is that actions speak louder than words, so I'm hoping that my first flip & fix is a success, which will speak for itself. Anyone have any experience with negative nellys in your life when it comes to REI?

Personally, if my spouse and I aren't on the same page then we either need to work together to find a solution that's acceptable or it's not a good plan. If your spouse is against the flip and it goes well I guess you can say you were right. But what happens to your relationship if they were against it all along and it doesn't go as successfully as planned? 

@Rachel Gill  Don't give up!  I am just starting out also and have came across several naysayers.  If they aren't your spouse, great, more deals for you.  If they are then communication is key.  Point them to the forums, pod-casts and the Ultimate Beginners Guide.  

For me having a salary and investing in my 401k isn't something I want to count on exclusively. Diversification is a term usually applied to stock market/retirement investing but is something I want to apply to my income.  Income diversification to me is the key independence.  If I lose my job, no problem I got another income stream via rental cash flow.  That's the plan anyway, now I just need to get that first deal! 

@Rachel Gill  listen to the newest podcast, she talks about her problems starting out 

every business has growing pains 

i do NOT listen to anyone that is not in this business

if you love this biz never give up,it will pay off

@Rachel Gill  as your spouse may know and fear, a lot of people fail (most?) at RE investing. It is certainly not easy,however, you have a huge advantage over most of them- BP.   

If it was me I would be empathizing that fact to my spouse.  As far as anybody else especially those outside the business, talk to the hand.   

Originally posted by @Rachel Gill :

What do you say to the naysayers? And what if that naysayer is your spouse? My thought is that actions speak louder than words, so I'm hoping that my first flip & fix is a success, which will speak for itself. Anyone have any experience with negative nellys in your life when it comes to REI?

 Honestly...I've been there multiple times.

I'm a risk taker and I believe nothing can be achieved if you don't go after it. In turn, many don't always agree with my decisions. There are many times I wish I did listen to others but I had to find out myself.

At the end of the day, I've gotten to the point I keep my plans on paper and in my head. Even recently I briefly said something to my daughter's mom (also best friend to me) that I'm getting into real estate investing through wholesaling. She quickly said what scam are you following this time.

I blew it off and explained the benefits and what my plan was. To be honest, she has seen many of my poor decisions so I do get why she would not trust my ways. She is conservative...I'm a risk taker. I have high income goals and I really don't want to have a "boss" 40 hours a week nor do I want to work super hard for someone else to benefit that is not my family. 

At the end of the day you have to focus on Rachel Gill Enterprise. No one else will focus on that as much as you.

If you have a history of poor choices than it will be a tough hill to climb with your spouse. But if it is simply because they don't believe in the industry then share your plan...your goals...ask for so much time to prove that it will work. Also have an exit strategy that you both agree on. 

This industry is here for you to succeed. You can make it happen but treat it like a business and success or failure is on your shoulders. 

Manny

Not all negative comments are the same.  First, someone like a spouse has an interest in the outcome, to me, is in a different category.  If one of my plans was going to make my life partner uncomfortable, I would have to give serious consideration to not doing it, whether or not I think I'm right -- after trying to persuade them of the merits of my plan.

Some points others make may be valid points and while you may not abandon your goal, they may be worth factoring in.   If you tell someone that you're spending all your free cash to buy a rental property and someone points out that buying property with no reserve and no ability to respond to unforeseen emergencies is a really bad idea and that you have no business buying property in your current, they may be right and maybe you need to adjust your plan by waiting till you have more cash, partnering with someone, etc.

I think the reverse is also true.  There are too many cheerleaders on BP urging people to "just go for it", "make your dreams come true" without knowing an individuals circumstances, abilities, etc. into account.  They have to weighed carefully just as the naysayers are.

All valid points.  Thank you for your responses everyone.  I consider myself a bit of a risk taker and agree with your mentality @Manny Rodriguez  that with great risk comes great reward.  But the reverse is also true, you can lose a lot of money if you don't know what you're doing.  I have aligned myself with a great mentor and am hoping that following in his footsteps will be a tremendous help.  @Kris Walker - great point on the communication thing.  I do believe that some people are completely risk averse and there's not much you can do to convince them otherwise.  @Cal C.    "Talk to the Hand" - love it!

I ignore the "Negative Nellys"  because I know it can be done, and know I can do it. (I had that attitude even before I had actually done it) 

It is tougher with your husband but I have heard from a few investors that their spouse was on board once the first check came home.

Honestly, that was my biggest motivator. 

I imagined a year from then someone saying "Hey, whatever happened to that real estate thing you were trying to do?" the thought of having to say it didn't work out was enough to make me get back up every time I failed... and I failed for 13 months straight before cashing a check.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Honesty and truth in any relationship is paramount if it is to continue successfully.  Of course a "Negative Nelly" is always close by. That is a part of life.  

@Rachel Gill  "What do you say to naysayers?"  You can thank them for their opinion.  "And what if that naysayer is your spouse?  Same answer here.  Perhaps it is worth exploring the reason a naysayer is a problem.  When a person asks a question of another person they are likely to receive a response.  You always have a choice about what to do next. 

@Rachel Gill  If it's your husband, shouldn't it be "Negative Ned"?!  (With all due respect to @Ned Carey)   :)

Do not focus on the objection.  Focus all your energy on the goal and your path to achieve your dreams will be realized.

Take action.

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