How do you convince your that SO buying rentals is not gambling

32 Replies

Hi BP,

I don't know if anyone has had the same issue. 

I think I have got enough knowledge and capital to buy my first SFH or duplex rental property, but my wife thinks buying rental properties is gambling. She doesn't want to get into another mortgage because she thinks all debts are bad. She's worried the tenants will sue us and make us broke. She's also worried the tenants are going to trash the properties..etc etc...

So how can I convince my wife that investing in rental property is not gambling and is a great way to financial freedom?

Thank you in advance!

@Tianyun Zhang you should sit down with a trusted RE adviser so that third party can go over the pros and cons of RE investments. Sometimes hearing it from a third party may help. 

You are in the same position as the majority of investors starting out. You have to work them very slowly by educating them on the difference between good and bad debt. It can be a very difficult up hill battle as they were likely not educated on finances growing up. Ignorance is a huge obstacle to overcome.

It has taken many of us a long time to educate the financially ignorant but it is doable with patients, lots of patients.

As with the saying ...education cures religion.... the same applies to those that do not understand investing in income real estate. I still have to occasionally remind my wife that it is all good debt.

But never lose site of the fact that investing is still very high risk. Get her understanding and onboard or do not proceed. 

Show her that a large percentage of the richest people on planet earth either got there through investing in real estate. Or they invest in real estate now. 

Property management companies will take care of the property for you and fill vacancies. 

Your money is either sitting as equity in your home or you're sitting on it in the bank or some mutual fund getting very low interest. You need to put that cash to work to create true wealth and create cash flow.

Originally posted by @Thomas S. :

You are in the same position as the majority of investors starting out. You have to work them very slowly by educating them on the difference between good and bad debt. It can be a very difficult up hill battle as they were likely not educated on finances growing up. Ignorance is a huge obstacle to overcome.

It has taken many of us a long time to educate the financially ignorant but it is doable with patients, lots of patients.

As with the saying ...education cures religion.... the same applies to those that do not understand investing in income real estate. I still have to occasionally remind my wife that it is all good debt.

But never lose site of the fact that investing is still very high risk. Get her understanding and onboard or do not proceed. 

 Thank you Thomas. I think that's very good advice. I will prepare to have another conversation with her. 

Originally posted by @Antoine Martel :

Show her that a large percentage of the richest people on planet earth either got there through investing in real estate. Or they invest in real estate now. 

Property management companies will take care of the property for you and fill vacancies. 

Your money is either sitting as equity in your home or you're sitting on it in the bank or some mutual fund getting very low interest. You need to put that cash to work to create true wealth and create cash flow.

 She has no problem with me trading stocks but thinks buying and renting out properties is dangerous. I was trying to explain the stock market is the real casino, but I don't know how to start 

Life is a gamble , only 2 things for sure are guaranteed , death and taxes .  The only difference between gambling on stocks or real estate as opposed to going to the casino , They serve free drinks at the casino while you are gambling .

in real estate the odds are with the house .............and you own the house 

@Tianyun Zhang I could be off base here regarding your last comment on “stock market is the real casino”...but just to be clear real estate isn’t any less risky then the stock market. If anything it’s probably more risky. Don’t confuse volatility (stock market is more volatile) with risk. Real estate is less volatile but also illiquid, and leverage can increase your returns but also make a downturn more painful.

Show your wife that doing both is a smart and useful way to built a diversified portfolio.

@Caleb Heimsoth yes I totally agree with you. I was kinda off regarding that comment. 

And I think showing her a diversified portfolio is a good way to make her less anxious. Thank you for your comments :)

Originally posted by @Tianyun Zhang :
Originally posted by @Antoine Martel:

Show her that a large percentage of the richest people on planet earth either got there through investing in real estate. Or they invest in real estate now. 

Property management companies will take care of the property for you and fill vacancies. 

Your money is either sitting as equity in your home or you're sitting on it in the bank or some mutual fund getting very low interest. You need to put that cash to work to create true wealth and create cash flow.

 She has no problem with me trading stocks but thinks buying and renting out properties is dangerous. I was trying to explain the stock market is the real casino, but I don't know how to start 

 Has she read the book - Rich Dad Poor Dad...? 

OR has she watched the video on youtube which explains the book in 7-10 minutes?

Originally posted by @Tianyun Zhang :

@Antoine Martel No I don't think she has. She has no interest in these things actually. 

Well she doesn't need to know as much as you do.

But in order for her to feel comfortable you need to make her comfortable and let her know what you know what you're doing.

In order to progress you're going to need to let her let you test out what you want to do and invest in real estate. Even if it is a very small investment just so you can show her that it is a good investment. 

Originally posted by @Antoine Martel :
Originally posted by @Tianyun Zhang:

@Antoine Martel No I don't think she has. She has no interest in these things actually. 

Well she doesn't need to know as much as you do.

But in order for her to feel comfortable you need to make her comfortable and let her know what you know what you're doing.

In order to progress you're going to need to let her let you test out what you want to do and invest in real estate. Even if it is a very small investment just so you can show her that it is a good investment. 

 Yes I will try to make her less anxious. I will definitely start small first.

@Tianyun Zhang Offer to take your wife to dinner. Choose a restaurant an hour away. Listen to a BP podcast on the ride there and another on the ride back. Repeat as needed until she is convinced. 

Originally posted by @Ryan Murdock :

@Tianyun Zhang Offer to take your wife to dinner. Choose a restaurant an hour away. Listen to a BP podcast on the ride there and another on the ride back. Repeat as needed until she is convinced. 

 I love this

Wow, I feel like I’m almost in the exact same spot. I’ll be following this thread for some good tips to share with my wife! :-)

Originally posted by @Tianyun Zhang :

Hi BP,

I don't know if anyone has had the same issue. 

I think I have got enough knowledge and capital to buy my first SFH or duplex rental property, but my wife thinks buying rental properties is gambling. She doesn't want to get into another mortgage because she thinks all debts are bad. She's worried the tenants will sue us and make us broke. She's also worried the tenants are going to trash the properties..etc etc...

So how can I convince my wife that investing in rental property is not gambling and is a great way to financial freedom?

Thank you in advance!

Education is probably the key.

Going forward knowing the answers to her concerns - and the ones she hasn't thought of yet - will go a long way toward understanding what REI is and what it isn't.

Fear defeats everyone who lacks the knowledge to overcome their fears.

Right now, of course, she's right: going into REI uneducated is an unwarranted gamble. Having a strong background in it before you begin eliminates many of the fears born of lack of education and helps prevent errors which cause losses.

I know - that's not a popular point of view here on BP. Explore how many folks here lost tremendous amounts of money - 100s of $Thousands, or more! - before they learned from their own experiences how to avoid those costly mistakes.

My $0.02 ...

I never did. I just bought real estate anyways. She has nothing to do with the business.

@Kevin Allen Did she at least know you bought properties? I dont want to hide things from her. It will get me into much bigger trouble than just not making money from real estate.

I'm curious -

Have you done the calculations or run the numbers on a property and shown her positive cash flow?

Have you shown her that buying in the right location and proper screening of tenants will reduce the chances or "tenants trashing up the place?"

Have you shown her other real estate tips that will help prevent or reduce the chances of struggling in a downturn?

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I think educating her on topics that have made you feel comfortable investing in real estate should be passed on to her. Maybe that can be a strategy on helping her support your real estate investing?

@Tianyun Zhang Very tough to get a spouse on board who is not open minded enough to have a conversation about the topic. Although it will probably be an uphill climb, things will have to start with her taking some kind of interest in understanding the business you want to get into.

Do you know where her negative thoughts about the business originated? That may be a good place to start.

@Michael Noto I do not know where her negative thoughts about real estate investing came from, but I do know she had debt before. It took her a while to get out of it and a good credit score. That's probably why she does not want to get more than one mortgage. 

Other than that, she's generally not interested in starting any business because she thinks it's too much hassle. She'd prefer just a 9-5 job.

Yes, she knows.  We have totally different philosophies on money.  

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