Would you work with a lender who was making decisions based on gender?

11 Replies

This conversation could go so many ways, but I'm putting it out there.  I'm working on a deal in New Mexico which is not a popular market so it's been challenging to find a financial partner that makes sense. The deal and numbers are solid, but I've been trying to pin down a private lender for a decision and he's been really flaky (red flag #1). 

This morning I called to follow up and he admitted that he's hesitant because he doesn't like lending to "girls", they cause him headaches apparently (red flag #2-10).  I told him I wasn't a "girl" I was a successful real estate broker and investor who didn't do drama or ********, and that if I was bitchy and whiney he could call me out, and I would call him out if he was bitchy and whiney. Not sure that went over well, but seriously?  You're going to pass on a deal because I'm a girl?

How do you feel about this BP?  Would you work with this guy?

Keywords to get my peeps in on this: Denver Indianapolis

Medium team zen logo vMicki M., 33 Zen Lane | [email protected] | http://www.33zenlane.com | CO Agent # 100037721, NM Agent # 19441

I'm inexperienced, but wouldn't that be discrimination which is illegal and subject to all sorts of laws?

Call him back and tell him loan me money at a low interest rate or get sued! Just kidding.

NO! I'd run the other direction

@Christopher Goldie  You're absolutely right, and believe me it crossed my mind.  Supposedly he's an accredited or verified private lender?  In the end he just jacked up his rates so that it didn't make sense and I graciously declined.  Can't wait to send him some results later this year.

Medium team zen logo vMicki M., 33 Zen Lane | [email protected] | http://www.33zenlane.com | CO Agent # 100037721, NM Agent # 19441

@Micki M.  

Reminds me of a scenario I had with one of my primary private lenders, we will call Ryan. I believe in full disclosure, so on a project, I mentioned that I was going to partner up with a friend, and she was going to run the project for a profit split. 

Ryan decided he did not want to fund the deal because of her.

I got the funding from a new lender, I had not used before, at a better rate than I was paying Ryan. 

Ryan was starting one of his own rehab projects at the same time we closed on our deal. We played a little game, although our project was a bigger renovation, within five weeks "the girl" was done with the  project two weeks before Ryan and his crew, wehad a contract within three weeks, before Ryans project did.

No lawsuit or revenge, even if you win, feels as good as it does to succeed when people doubt you or tell you it cant be done. 

Success is always the best "revenge", and the doubters tend to come around, I have had plenty come around and want to rejoin the winning team.

Dell Schlabach, BenchMark Properties | 3304326927

WOW!  People amaze me.  Some of the most successful people are Women!  Ask me how I know?   I am a woman and a Private Lender.  Never would I turn down anyone because of their gender or race.  That is totally unethical.  In the past I have rehabbed many homes and dealt with many lenders and I have never had a problem.  A loan is a loan as long as you qualify....

Good Luck with new lenders.  Wish I was in your area. 

Hi Micki,

The reality of our business is that we have to deal with people in a lot of different situations. The fact that this guy admitted why he was uncomfortable lending to you is surprising, as most people probably would just raise the rates without an explanation.  Either way, you should not want to have a business relationship with anyone who doesn't have the same ethics as you. It is a lot more fun when you can work with like-minded people and it will be VERY rewarding when you make your profit without involving this jackass. 

Happy Investing

Derek Dombeck

715‑574‑4666

@Dell Schlabach  great story, thanks for sharing. My first reaction to this guy was "did you really just say that" and my second one was that I want to work with professionals who will evaluate a deal for the deal.

Thanks everyone for the support, I've encountered that attitude in real estate, especially when I was a commercial broker, but I didn't expect it from an investor analyzing deal financials.  

Medium team zen logo vMicki M., 33 Zen Lane | [email protected] | http://www.33zenlane.com | CO Agent # 100037721, NM Agent # 19441

We all deal with the opposite sex in our own way to some degree, just natural that I won't speak to a lady as I do a guy, I won't go in her locker room, ya know?

Thing I did experience was the experience side and I believe I applied that regardless of gender, but new lady contractors did scare me a bit more initially than guys but if either could show results and there was a working relationship there I would do it. Meaning, most girls don't grow up on a construction site with dad, boys seem to a bit more, but I found out that was not always the case!  I know construction so I can tell my speaking to someone if their head is in the game or they just have the desire. But, I worked with one brand new female contractor as she qualified as a minority contractor and I'm glad I did it, it was a teaching experience but she was great. Man, could she manipulate those guys on site, LOL, cracked a whip and they loved her. I probably would have past over a guy at that same level of experience, but the deal was great. Compensating factors.

Second largest brokerage in the state was Carol Jones, long time family friend and you must be kidding if you'd think for a second if I'd hesitate in doing deals with her! Of course I did!

I'd say a guy that didn't want to work with a woman must be nuts, some real issues there, more than half the Realtors here are women, AND, if any lender or investor type used gender as an excuse, I agree, avoid them, they are the ones lacking in the business arena! But make sure they find out they screwed up avoiding you, it's the only way they will learn! :)

Medium logoscopiccroppedblue2Bill Gulley, General Real Estate Academy | https://generalrealestateacademy.com

@Micki M.  

To answer your question...I would only do business with them if they were making gender decisions in my favor....

All jokes aside that is ridiculous, it speaks to the ignorance of the lender.  They are probably still living with the same small town, old school mentality they grew up with...

Run don't walk....It's definitely not worth doing business with people like him.  

And like many mentioned, with the utmost class, carefully pass along the success of your deal after its completed.  

I think you did not build enough trust.. perception and getting the other party to like, trust and respect you is more than anything. I have lost some good deals because i couldn't get in his/her mind.. sorry, no mean to offend..

Well. I think I may now have an imprint of my keyboard on my forehead.

and no, I wouldn't work with him because I wouldn't want to make the guy a dime.

Medium team zen logo vJean Bolger, 33 Zen Lane | http://www.solidrealestateadvice.com