Help! Our Lender Can't Seem to Close. What Can We Do?

[Bonnie Low]

I was contacted by a conventional lender through BP. I checked their recommendations and they seemed legit. The loan officer certainly was very helpful and responsive at first. In retrospect, I think he was eager to sell us his product, but less eager to stay on top of it and make sure it gets funded in a timely manner. We're doing a refi on our primary home to take advantage of super low interest rates. We're also doing a small cash back scenario because we have a lot of equity. We have been sending the lender's underwriter document after document after document. Each time they request something it takes about a week for them to review and get back to us. Every single time at least one of the following has happened: they've either said what we sent them wasn't sufficient and had to be revised in some manner (instead of just providing us the correct instructions in the first place), they've asked for something new, or they've required us to update something we sent previously because it expired (like current bank statements or proof of mortgage payments, for example.) They've even asked that WE call a credit reporting agency to try to get them to expedite their request for information from one of our other creditors because "we might have better luck." Isn't this what the lender gets paid to handle?? I've never heard of such a thing. We didn't even know what we were supposed to be asking of them. It was exactly like playing a game of telephone. I thought we were in the clear because we finally received closing disclosures last week, which we promptly e-signed and returned. We were told we'd be closing in 3 days. Lo and behold, yet ANOTHER request came through just today asking that we update our list of assets because that has now expired since it took so long. I find it hard to believe that a legitimate company is STILL asking for additional documentation AFTER we just signed the closing disclosures. Has anyone ever had this experience? At this point, I don't think they're capable of closing. The loan officer is in Florida. He says he's working with an underwriting office in NY. The right hand doesn't seem to know what the left hand is doing. They have of course used COVID as an excuse. But the excuses are piling up and, frankly, I now don't believe any of them.

My concern is that they can't close or have no intention of closing. At this point, our appraisal is going to age out or no longer be useful if we have to start the process all over with another lender. What recourse do we have? Can we pull the plug and walk away from this company? Can we get them to reimburse us for the $750 appraisal done for this loan which doesn't seem likely it's going to close? Any advice would be much appreciated!