How do I deal with the mental weight of debt?

Question

Hello everyone! I've done lots of research and I'm building a team right now to get ready to house hack a multi unit property in the Chicagoland area in the next year. But I have one thing that still bothers me, and I think some advice from some of the experienced could help.
How do I deal with the overlooming weight of debt? And paying it back? I know that it's an actual, appreciating, income generating asset, and I'm looking into strong cash flow, but there is still understandably some fear.
Does anyone else feel that way? How did you guys navigate it? Or did it fuel you? Thanks!

Aaron Zimmerman · Answer

You need to have plenty of personal reserves and reserves for the property. If you're concerned, I'd have a minimum of 3 months of expenses saved up for personal and your property. You could do upwards of 6 months if you wanted to as well.

Travis Timmons · Answer

Easy...when you start getting stressed about debt, just stop thinking about it.

I think that building wealth requires one to be both optimistic and paranoid. That fear and stress will protect you; it's a good thing that you need to listen to. Once you get to the point where you have 20-50% equity in a property, it is easier because you can get out from under that payment by selling if you have to. Going the house hack route with 3-5% down is going to be nervy for the first few years. Make sure you have job security and plenty of cash reserves.

Paul De Luca · Answer

@Ian Ciborowski

Debt is simply a tool which should be used with careful thought and consideration. It's not something to be feared, but to be understood. Too much debt and not enough liquidity has no doubt ruined many people due to a combination of circumstances or bad decisions. As @Chris Seveney and @Theresa Harris said, there is "good debt" and "bad debt". Basically, good debt is debt that through calculated use can be used for growth in assets and income (real estate, business) which should lead to a net positive outcome for you. Bad debt will most likely lead to a net negative outcome for you and an overall drain on you (credit card debt, loans for luxury items or depreciating assets).

There's a lot of great writing on this topic in personal finance and investing books. I know Robert Kiyosaki in particular talks about the pros and cons of using debt.

I think some real estate investors can take the concept of "good debt" a little too far in a way it becomes an obsession and almost like a cult. The cult of debt and constant pursuit of endless growth, which can lead to over-leveraging.

Be conservative, have liquidity (a rainy day fund), have a reliable income source, and you should be okay.

Alecia Loveless · Answer

@Ian Ciborowski I worried much more about the debt with the first 1-3 deals. Now that I’ve got several more years of experience and more deals under my belt I tend to worry less.

I personally prefer to put at least 20% down to lessen the stress.

I also try to keep a lot of money in reserve.

Gregory Schwartz · Answer

Thanks for being honest — I can say I've felt this.

I’ve been sitting with a similar question lately: Do the benefits of investing with debt truly outweigh the emotional and mental weight that comes with it? We talk a lot about leverage, ROI, and scale on here, but not enough about peace of mind.

If debt is stealing your sleep, straining your relationships, or affecting your health, is it actually worth it?

Real estate is supposed to give us better lives — not just better balance sheets. And I’m not just talking finances, but the whole picture: health, stress levels, marriage, parenting, time to breathe. If all of that’s suffering, then maybe it’s time to pause and ask:
Is this approach actually working for me?

I’m not trying to knock anyone. There are folks on here who’ve built big portfolios using debt and seem to thrive. But I’ve also started wondering: how many of us are quietly drowning behind the highlight reels?

Maybe debt isn’t for everyone. Maybe slower, safer growth is the better path for some of us. Heck… maybe Dave Ramsey isn’t completely wrong. 😅

Just wanted to say — you’re not crazy for feeling this way, and you’re definitely not alone. Thanks for sparking a conversation that more of us probably need to have.

Caleb Brown · Answer

Others gave great advice. Debt is a tool but can be a weight. Bad debt will hinder you and weigh you down. Be careful with car debt and credit cards. Real estate can be good debt if used correctly. When you are acquiring property make sure you have reserves and enough income to support if things hit the fan. Time will payoff the mortgages. If you are risk adverse then you can play it slower. Put more money down and be conservative when you purchase. Outside of that don't be a worrier, won't help anything.

Eric Gerakos · Answer

Think about something else.

Chris Seveney · Answer

There is good debt and bad debt. Most do not stress over good debt - but once it's bad debt from either a bad deal or over leverage then it can weigh heavily on you

Tyler Thorson · Answer

One thing that might help is to remind yourself regularly that equity = assets - liabilities.

If you have 50k of debt because you went to the casino and blew it, that's -50k.

if you have 50k of debt against a 75k house, think of it as +25k (rather than thinking of it as 50k you have to pay back).

James McGovern · Answer

We all hate the feeling of debt. To counteract it is best to sharpen your pencil and identify cost savings opportunities and ways to run rehab more efficiently

How do I deal with the mental weight of debt?

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