how do i become good at negotiating?

19 Replies

im only 20 years old. when i talk to most oolder people i feel like they dont take me seriously

You need to be very knowledgeable about wholesaling and talk about solving other people problems. If you are trying to get contracts on homes find out their issue with the property and be open about what you can do and and solving problems are critical.

Has nothing to do with your age. I started at 21. Im 24 now and don't look my age and I specialize in probate investing so most of my clients are a good 40 years older than me. Considering Ive never seen or heard you negotiate, and you didn't explain how most of your conversations go; I cant offer any advice. That said, I can assure you age is not the reason

There are lot of fun ways to get better at the art of negotiation, do you want to improve that skill in general or only within wholesaling?

A good friend started buying and selling random items around the house on craigslist to get practice haggling. It helped him a lot to get more comfortable in the process with useless items instead of a deal that meant the world to him.

Just one idea, but like @Kevin Brown said, you haven't offered a lot of information for us to help. Something tells me Kevin knows whats up. A great negotiator listens, asks questions and doesn't just spout out info.

@Account Closed I completely understand what you are saying. I am 29 now and still run into that issue professional from time to time. It was worse when I was your age. My suggestion is twofold:

1. Study and learn as much as you can about sales. Read some sales strategy books. Some non-technical sales type books would be Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people", Keith Ferrazzi "Never eat alone" and finally anything by Stephen Covey.

2. The more you learn the more confidence you have and this will be the finishing touch. Have confidence even when you are not! I don't mean be fake or insincere but be confident in yourself and it will show. If you understand sales, can communicate and make people feel important they will like you no matter what age you or they are or how much experience you have.

These suggestions may sound dumb but these are the two biggest things I have learned so far. I am, by trade, in outside sales covering states in the Midwest. I deal with the low income operators up to the CEO's of companies.

@derekleblanc. I am just starting out and I'm 22 so I know how you're feeling. I went to my first local REIA meeting and one of the things I took away was the more open you are to people about your intentions the more they will be willing to work with you. Now with that said, the topic of the REIA meeting was short sales, but building a rapport can't hurt.

The only thing age has anything to do with is an excuse.

"Just Do It"...

"Fake It Till You Make It"..

"Kill Them With Your Smile"...

"Fail Faster"...

In the end age has nothing to do with it. People need problems solved!

The biggest thing is to be comfortable in your own skin and not afraid to hear the word no. There are some good books on negotiating such as Getting to Yes and Influence that I would definitely recommend reading.

Derek, you might consider studying the following books:

You Can Negotiate Anything, by Herb Cohen


Trump-Style Negotiation, by Trump's attorney George H. Ross

The number one thing is to have the proper knowledge because if you know what you are talking about you will come off as super confident and not a push over.

Secondly, I would go over my spiel of what I'm going to offer X person in my head and if the offer sounds okay to you then you need to make the offer lower. The offer to you should feel like no one in hell will accept this offer that way when they up the negotiating price its something you would have initially accepted.

I hope this helps.

There are a lot of different styles of negotiating. Some are pretty crude, like PawnStars "wouldjah take?" but effective for what, where and who they're dealing with.

Probably the biggest skill anyone can learn (IMHO) relates to asking good questions and becoming a powerful listener. I guess they are really two separate skills.

Another valuable skill is in ascertaining your perceived added value. Understand what you bring to the party and determine if your prospect weighs a similar value to your solution to a problem.

Here's a practical application that I like to use: the metaphorical example of someone deathly sick, in an ambulance, asking the hospital ER attendant what their rates are. To quote John Schaub, "you can't fix stupid."

Originally posted by @Account Closed :
im only 20 years old. when i talk to most oolder people i feel like they dont take me seriously


I'll keep this short and sweet.

Research, Due Diligence (DD), and Leverage

Research your area/craft/skill of choice.

Do your DD and learn your craft.

Then understand the dynamics of your product or service, focus on solutions to problems that go hand in hand with supply and demand, followed by learning aspects of your niche/area, and leverage (including presentation) your position to close.

Sometimes you can get away with selling the sizzle not the steak but eventually you will need that steak, or those seasoned counterparts will call your bluff leaving you feeling foolish. Trust me, you can feel pretty foolish whether you are 20 or 90 if your bluff is called...

An example of this: Ghost Marketing/Advertising.

Just my two pesos in a nutshell.

Big Henry

Another book that may help with the mindset of offering value, pushing your comfot zone, and capturing more is Getting Everything You Can Out of All You’ve Got.

I have negotiated for a living forever, from selling radio advertising to buying and selling radio stations.

Always remember, they (whoever your dealing with) don't care about what a deal can do for you, they want to do know you/it can do for them.

Don't talk about 'features" (here is how we will do a double close, etc), talk about benefits to them (they have someone focused on your property, not just another listing for an agent, etc).

Never, ever, argue, I've made millions of dollars negotiating and I've never sold anything by arguing, cutting the other person down, degrading them etc,,,its amazing how many people do that.

As far as your age, if you have knowledge, 90% of the people won't care about your age.

There are many great books on sales, including some of the ones listed by others,,I've taken the Dale Carnegie Course three times (once as a student, twice I was ask to be a 'teachers assistant),,its great but not focused on self but on living your life

I still sell and still cold call, I start every new call by explaining who I am, what my firm does and say "I wanted to call to see if I could be of service to you",,,its about serving others "as the late Zig Zigler says, I get what i want by helping others get what they want

thanks andy

The BEST way to get good at negotiation is to practice. You won't get better just reading books. You can read all the books in the world and learn all the tricks, trade secrets and gambits, but until you get good at asking questions, listening to people and responding to the things they say, you'll never become a good negotiator. Rapport is a HUGE part of negotiation. Can you go out tonight, meet a total stranger and kick off a conversation with that person? Next time you're standing in a line give it a try. Lots of great conversation starters: What phone do you have? Do you like it? (everyone plays on their phone when they're standing in line.) Where'd you get that shirt/watch/haircut? Those are great sneakers/running shoes/boots. Are they comfortable?

The point is that negotiation doesn't start with "Will you take XXX for that product?" It starts with regular conversation and questions and leads up to the closing statement or at least a few trial closes.

The least expensive place to practice is yard sales. Find something you don't care about and see if you can buy it for 25%-50% of what they are asking. You can spend 10 minutes involved in a real negotiation and only end up spending 25 cents.

When you build some confidence, you can start asking if the house might also be for sale. Maybe start off jokingly and ask how much for the garage (if it is a garage sale). A guy I studied used to go to yard sales and say he was looking for a birthday present for his mom, but only had a few dollars to spend.

You'll find that after a few hundred conversations, people tend to use the same excuses and have the same objections. Once you learn these patterns and learn how to effectively handle them, you'll become a much better salesperson and will close more deals.

@Derek LeBlanc you are young - that is a phenomenal advantage!!!

  • You are hungry
  • you are anxious to make your mark in the world
  • You need every deal
  • You have high energy
  • every deal is important to you

Gosh who wouldn't want to do business with someone like that? Your youth is only a problem in your own mind not in the minds of others.

Specifically regarding negotiating, go to Nightingale Connant and get the negotiating program by Roger Dawson. It will cost you some money but it is woth every penny.

Several factors that will increase your ability to negotiate:

1) KNOWLEDGE of this business & RE in general.
2) PROFESSIONALISM in your appearance and the way you present yourself

If you are knowledgeable and professional, people will find you to be CREDIBLE and hopefully, they will also LIKE YOU.

3) NEGOTIATION SKILLS will work for you once you have established credibility and the seller likes you.

If you start to negotiation BEFORE establishing credibility, people are less likely to take you seriously (or trust you in general)...

Good luck - I wish I started at this when I was 20!

"Energy and persistence conquers all things." ~ Benjamin Franklin

1) Ask questions but listen more than you talk so you know what to negotiate

2) Bring something (i.e. knowledge, skill, product, etc.) to negotiate (if you dont have, or can't get, what the other person wants or needs I call it waisting time)

3) Show evidence of how you have delivered results. (at the end of the day, that is all that matters to people in need)

4) Be creative (if saints and sinners can get into heaven I am sure there are multiple techniques to become a good negotiator. Try different approaches until you settle on what works for you but don't be affraid to adjust).

5) Lose all fear of the word "No" because you will hear it a lot

6) Walk away from the table politely (if you slam your hands on the table and storm out, you may not get invited back. People remember being treated kindly)

  • The following is a list of sample questions you should ask a seller.When talking to a seller, try to ask the questions through the course of a conversation and try not to sound like you are reading from a list.

    (Note:You will not ask all of these questions depending on the answers the seller gives and your investing objectives.)

    Asking About The Seller And Their Property:

    •Can you tell me a little bit about your home?(# of bedrooms, baths, size etc.)
    •What do you like most about the home?
    •What do you like the least?
    •Are there any repairs needed?
    •What is your sales price and how did you arrive at it?
    •What do you think your house would appraise for in excellent condition?
    •What do you think your property could rent for?
    •Is your property listed with a real estate agent?
    •If you don’t mind me asking, why are you selling?

    Asking About The Existing Financing:

    •Do you own the house free and clear?
    •Do you know if your mortgage loan assumable?
    •Would you sell the house for what you owe?
    •If not, how much are you looking to get above what you owe? (Subtract that from sales price to
    get loan balance.)
    •How much are the monthly payment on the mortgage?
    •Are the payments current?

    What Kind Of Deal Can You Get:

    •If I paid you all cash and closed quickly, what is the least you could take?
    (Follow-up by asking if that is truly the least they would take.)
    •Will you consider leasing the property to me with an option to buy if I guarantee the mortgage
    payments and maintenance?
    •Do you have a problem with someone living in the property until I get it sold?
    •Would you consider optioning the property to me, if there is absolutely no risk or cost to you?
  •  **************************some of these questions are aggressive and personal, so WHISPER!  Act like Peter Falk in Columbo!  
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