The first thing you do is anticipate what the max impact is if the interest hits the max, and prepare for that when you buy the property.Since that ship has sailed, one option is to pay down the principle, but that defeats the purpose of cash flow.You say all your loans are commercial, and they have to be for some reason. 

If I refer the seller to a realtor, it kind of defeats the purpose of having me around.

You are refinancing at the same rate and term as the acquisition loan, which defeats the purpose of refinancing.

Was feeling defeated and disappointed. 

I won't be able to scale if that's the case, which would defeat the entire purpose of hiring out.  

I always love hearing a good "defeat the evil landlord" story!

Sorta defeats the purpose of an investment in my opinion.You could end up with close to 50k in your pocket.

To the extent points are being captured in the Cap Rate you're actually skewing the cap rate with your leverage, which kind of defeats the purpose of that metric.Since the goal of Cap Rate is to provide a quick and dirty view of the risk/reward of a property.

Our dream situation is to:- Have a place to call our own whenever we want to be there (ie...cannot have a long term renter in the property because it defeats the purpose). 

Education is probably the key.Going forward knowing the answers to her concerns - and the ones she hasn't thought of yet - will go a long way toward understanding what REI is and what it isn't.Fear defeats everyone who lacks the knowledge to overcome their fears.Right now, of course, she's right: going into REI uneducated is an unwarranted gamble.