Are you planning on using your VA loan and moving there? 

I wouldn't expect calling either of these numbers to get any results, so plan to drive there and post a 3-day notice. 

Planning on 25% down and a conventional loan for the rest, near 7%Basically none of the deals cash flow, much less get anywhere near a CoC of 10% I can sort of rationalize it if it at least pays for itself (appreciation/tax benefits), but unless I can either get the NOI way up or the sale price way down why wouldn't I invest the cash in the market?

I'm in the market for entity config and tax planning/prep.

Fast forward to 4/26 and the first set of plans are rejected.

Bigger Pockets is a great place to find an accountant specializing in real estate taxation.A good real estate accountant can save you thousands of dollars by leveraging entity selection and formation, tax deductions, cost segregations, bonus depreciation, 1031 exchanges, and tax planning.I recommend finding an accountant specializing in real estate taxation, business taxation, financial planning, and tax planning.Consider working with your accountant remotely to expand your options.I would also recommend looking for an accountant willing to work with you throughout the year.

This is great advice - I already have two meetup grows scheduled this week that I am planning on attending. 

Thanks also for the insight on tax planning and asset protection.

But when it comes to the financial side of investing — underwriting, strategy, long-term planning — I feel completely bankrupt.I know what it takes to bring a house back to life, but I’ve never bought one with the math first.

They will not insure me because I do not have 3 years experience and I am not planning to hire a GC.