Some was asking for such a significant down payment It defeated the purpose owner financing. 

That would defeat the purpose of having your tenants pay the mortgage for you.

And I think the inputs shouldn't be necessarily creative financing, but how to make your income higher to defeat a DTI issue and create more income from your current assets.

Trying to NOT feel defeated. 

Sometimes you have to accept defeat in one game to be able to move forward with success.In your case, accepting defeat here means selling the property now, before its continuous cash flow losses impact your future gains. 

Anything beyond that, defeats the purpose.

So excited for the potential and the future but also terrified and sometimes feel very defeated 

If you are planning to live for free, that is challenging unless you put a lot of money down (defeats the purpose of leverage) and/or adding units (which can be costly and timely).I think the challenge is people can't get over the hump that house hacking isn't forever.

In addition, occupancy may act as notice of the first grantee's interest, which may defeat a claim of a BFP status even if the deed has not been recorded. 

That defeats the purpose if your wife wants out of the house.