Maybe a brain massage is better than picking?

We now have a nail technician, esthetician renting the studio, massage therapist, hair stylist, and both apartments rented.  

I want the financial freedom to eat as many crablegs as I can during this lifetime, and to have multiple people massage every single one of my extremities (just 4 people... the fifth one is off limits ... besides my left arm hurts to no one touches my lefty ).

And a massage business (both units i havent seen) Both were paying extremely low rent amounts around 300 a month each.  3 units for sure need to be brought up to higher standards. im convinced this is a shiny piece of coal needing to be worked, but still im concerned for the previous owner refusing a inspection. 

Quote from @Atul Mohlajee: I suspect it's a sewing machine, a foot massager, or some other innocent device.

Your renters are constantly building up the topsoil by farming in a "land regenerative" way using livestock to massage the soil. 

You have to get her buy in with some kind of trade off like bigger house plus roommate or not her dream home and no roommate, or of the $1000 rent she can keep $300 for a monthly house maid and two hour massage or $200 shopping spree or something.

This is possible with a program called a family opportunity loan, your lender should know about the program, if not then send me a massage and I'll give the contact info for a lender that I use.

In NY, business licenses are more oriented toward retail or certain services like cutting hair or massage.

A common mistake is to try to massage numbers to figure out how it MIGHT work so that you can rush into a deal just to say you did it.