I am in Alhambra nearby.

The entry point is still relatively low compared to nearby cities like Nashville or Franklin, and there are opportunities for creative strategies like house hacking.Here’s a simple idea:You could look for a duplex or small multi-family in Columbia.

I'm a licensed agent and for anyone with small multi family properties nearby Joliet - I can execute on a deal quite quickly. 

Personally I am in a college town that also has 4 military bases nearby.

It does not matter if you are selling stuff online, buy an airstream and convert it into a mobile coffee shop or pressure wash houses.

Offer coffee, a beer, dinner - whatever is of value, but offer to pay to spend some time speaking with and learning from those investors.You laid out big ambitions in your post and that is excellent. 

Having someone nearby who understands local regulations, guest expectations, and neighborhood dynamics can be a huge advantage when starting out,

Look into nearby attractions or business hubs driving demand.

Your best move here is to treat it as a health and safety concern, not a landlord-tenant issue.You should probably contact Adult Protective Services (APS) — they’re set up for exactly this kind of case: elderly people with no nearby family, declining health, and possibly living in unsafe conditions.

just sitting around drinking my coffee and waiting and pouncing on specific deals that are well below market, will hold for a period of time then sell again after the government prints another $5T.