Your own skin-in-the-game shouldn't leave escrow until it's handed over to the SELLER, at closing.

If she balks at the no money down idea, offer her something...maybe 2-5K to show you will have skin in the game.

I think they were just scammers all along but, whatever.It was emotionally upsetting and I know I will need to have a thicker skin going forward because, the more rentals I own, the more likely I will be to end up court with unethical, horrible people.

Extended transactional funding would cost you a lot of points and so would hard money and most hard money lenders want you to come to the table with some skin in the game so it's unlikely they will fund you if you don't have something to put down.

My other concern on this deal is to offer a four year balloon and end up watching him default on that while having deferred four years of maintenance.I guess most importantly I need him to put some skin back in the game if I want to proceed this way.

I think they want him to have skin in the game. 

I am thinking I would want some skin in the game as well to make them feel more comfortable.

I have a working DST right now with Healthcare Realty Solutions, great return, check hits every month, I like the fact that they are the sponsor and broker for the deal "have skin in the game", I also like that it is a gyno clinic in August GA tied to a medical school, seems pretty stable. 

I want them to have $3k or 4k out-of-pocket to have some "skin in the deal."

Essentially because you don't have enough 'skin in the game' as determined by the lender you have to pay MIP an insurance should you default, which would be less likely if you had a higher down payment to lose in the game.