She will call from unknown numbers and frequently sound inebriated.

But for learning sake let's say -   For example, if he wants $10,000 now then I would offer along the lines of a $70,000 wraparound only for like 3-5 years (60,000 first mortgage with 10,000 wraparound mortgage over 5 years) vs if he wants nothing down then I would consider something like the above with an interest-only wrap around.I know that was a lot, and not super specific numbers, but I would definitely be willing to dive into those numbers deeper if that logic is sound. 

Does this even sound like a good deal?

Syndicated Mortgages are getting a bad name here in Ontario, however the basic relationship structure is still sound especially for OSC 45-501 compliant investors.  

.$0 in repair costs is a stretch- especially if you plan to increase rents...you'll need to justify the higher rent and that typically means improving the condition of the property = $$Your upfront equity position isn't great, but it looks like you'll start with a bit of equity...and if you decide to improve condition you can force the value as your NOI increasesBoilers are find if they are modern...looks like yours was replaced in 2017- definite positive5.3% on the loan doesn't look too bad...your DSCR is 1.15 ...most lenders will require this to be 1.2++ Vacancy is relative to your local market...not sure 5% is the right number to use or not...I look at CapEx different for year 1 and consider it an up-front out-of-pocket expense...but it looks like your units are in good condition so 5% may be right...maybe high...Water and sewer (and other utilities) seems low to me, but it's specific to the area...and maybe just for common areas?...

Sounds like I need to do some research. 

I wouldn't go to home depot or lowes for something that specific.I'm sure you're trying to keep costs down, but you may want to bid out a full replacement vs. the paint. 

Your best bet is to pay down your credit card debt, it isn't sexy but paying it down gives you a guaranteed return of 15% or more depending on your rate, that sounds like a no brainier to me. 

That doesn't sound like a bad deal if you aren't using it, just make sure you have the ability to get the car to the people who are renting it.

Most of the time mold is simply: remove the soft materials, wipe down studs with some bleach, and replace.