We all have probably had a negotiation that tested the very core of your patience, but knew you couldn't cave in. 

I had the great opportunity over the weekend to meet Mr. Jacobs. What started with a simple cold call, turned into the following. 

Me:  Good afternoon Mr. Jacobs. My name is John and I was inquiring about your property at 123 Main.

For the next several minutes, I was entertained by an explosion of every imaginable cuss word, how I must have been a scam artist, how what I was doing was illegal, and how I was taking advantage of people. I just sat back and enjoyed his melt down. 

After the explosion was done, he blurted out:

If you give me $500,000 for the house, I will sell it to you.   (This house was worth about $200,000, on a good day)

Me: Deal!  

Mr. Jacobs:  I am serious, I won't accept anything under $500,000.

Me: I understand and I am fine with that. However, I have a few things I would like to include in this offer, is that acceptable?
Mr. Jacobs:  What would that be? 

Me: I will gladly give you $500,000 for the home, however I need you to carry the note. I propose a 45 year mortgage at 4.5% interest, with the payments deferred for 25 years.

Mr. Jacobs: What the F are you talking about?  There is no F***ing way I would agree to that, nobody would. But since you want to be a smart A, let's do 20% interest.  He did give me a laugh at the end of that.

Me:  That is fine, however I now need the payments deferred for 50 years. Do we have a deal?  

Mr. Jacobs:  Another profanity laced explosion before telling me to F off and hung up on. 

Needless to say this deal did not happen. 

So how about it, share some of those negotiations that were so far from typical it made you shake your head.