Getting hate from friends / family / strangers for Investing

58 Replies

Hey guys!

Not sure if right forum to post but I thought this was most appropriate one. 

I was curious to hear how people's investing has effected family/friendships/relationships, if at all?

I notice as I'm getting more success in life people seem to drop off which is to be expected but what sparked this post was I was getting a massage last night and my masseuse went into this tirade about how people who work hard to create a lot of money are greedy and no one deserves a million dollars . I asked him how someone who earns $100k a year is better than someone with $1m, as the higher earner have more resources to be a better person and contributor to society! He was convinced wealthy people / investors don't donate money (what a dumb thing to say lol, wealthy people I know are WAY more generous than low income/middle class) and that it's wrong to want to have the goal to be wealthy lmao. People's views around wealth are SO messed up.  

So glad I'm on this forum with like minded thinkers. I literally can't stand to be around "normal" people who think this way lol. So ignorant! 

Well you have to understand that people tend to associate wealth with being some cigar smoking fat lard with trophy wife and mistresses with big mansions and at least 2 private jets.  When in reality they are average Joes who made smart decisions in life and are reaping the rewards. I would say Dan, keep you goals and plans to yourself, it seems you are in the wrong circle. Once you reach a level which attracts like minded individuals like yourself then you can be candid about your ambitions.  

@Brian Adzadi For sure mate I agree 100%. I actually didn't bring up any goals; he just went into a tirade about it lol.

@Dan Wickland
Hey Mr.Wickland new to investing aswell as real estate would like to pick your brain for knowledge and questions. Noticed we are almost same age and have the same goals aswell for our future lives financially.
Would be great to have some of your time as i am now feeling the same outcast type of feeling from friends for even thinking about investing and seeking financial freedom at such a young age. Everyone around me wants to party and what not. While im hear trying to build and learn how to achieve financial freedom and maintain that freedom. Hope to hear from you.

Haters be hatin

We have found that at least 3/4 of our circle don't get it at all.  Some drifted off and the rest just tilt their head to the side.   We are working towards FIRE too. So when they find out we don't have cable they lump you in with the Amish and doomsday prep-ers.  Good times, press on.

He obviously is ignorant and doesn’t realize that the wealthy provide 70% of donations and are majority republican.


That’s exactly why I bought a 1-way ticket away from Australia when I was 23. I didn’t fit into the mindset there anymore and wanted to get financially ahead in life without feeling guilty. I’ve lived in the USA for 10 years and try to surround myself with people who encourage me!

Many people have negative ideas about money. These are ideas/memes that have been planted in them since they were younger. 

Dr Wayne Dyer (RIP) has referred to these as negative memes or 'mind viruses' . 

"Memes are just these ideas that have been planted into us about what is possible or not for us, about what we can do and what we can’t do, what human beings are capable of and all of that kind of thing. We carry these memes around with us; they become viruses which just duplicate, infiltrate and spread wherever they go until we act upon them as if they were truth."
Living what he teaches | Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

I stopped reading when you said it was a male

Do you care what your UBER dude says?   or your Gardener?

Carry on my friend and make money!

@Anthony Cruz For sure! Let's chat man

@Leah Klint Thanks for sharing :)

@Marcus Johnson Lmao exactly

@Joel O. I LOVE IT man! Totally relate! 

@Joseph M. Totally true; thanks for sharing!

@Jody Newman Lmao exactly. Definitely don't give a s*** about him and would never effect my decisions as I only listen to people who are where I want or who are intelligent; I just find people's financial psychology fascinating & amusing 

Australia’s “tall poppy syndrome” is known to be worse than the disparaging wealth envy in the states. However we may be catching up looking at the mainstream culture in the states today.

Funny it is your masseuse that's complaining to her customer.  The poor and lower middle class can't afford to get massages!

I hear it sometimes while working side by side with my tradesmen.  We'll be doing a trash out, yard cleanup or roof patch, and they start...  

I've always been a beater-driving homeless looking construction painter plumber guy, so they apparently feel comfortable venting to me.  I nod a lot, but then tell a story of how a rich guy has helped me or someone else.  Put a name to 'an evil rich guy' that gives back.

Quiet millionaires are all around, plying their trade and giving back. Share a personal story of how a wealthy person helped you or someone else or the hungry.  Helps them see 'the evil rich' differently @Dan Wickland

Before we go all John Galt here, I'd actually I'd like to offer one correction. As a percentage of income the poor lower income brackets give more than the wealthy. As someone pointed out above, its the middle class (w2 wage earners for the most part)  who  on the lower side.

The table below is from the Motley Fool and IRS.

Adjusted Gross Income (AGI)

Average charitable deduction

% of AGI

Under $25,000$1,87412.3%
$2,000,000 or more$382,9535.6%


Why are these averages important to you?

It's jealously and a poor mindset. I feel bad for a lot of people, the opportunity is right there in front of their face and they don't grab it. 

Just ignore it, plain and simple.  No one who is successful has ever said "Well, I listened to all the negative people in my life and if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be as successful as I am today!"

@Dan Wickland listen to anything Grant Cardone related. You WANT haters! The more haters you have the better!

Average is a disease! You should be happy that your masseuse and most people perceive money/wealth in the way they do. They will never be our competition as a result. 

As Grant Cardone says success is your DUTY and OBLIGATION! Not being successful is selfish because if you're not successful how many people can you help?

@Jonathan R McLaughlin

Thanks for providing the IRS and Motley Fool chart that shows the donations made by income groups from the year 2014.  You state that the wealthy have donated less as a percentage of their income than the poor, but you didn't define what wealthy is.   

If you look at the website Investopedia

and the 2016-2017 Tax brackets

What you'll see is that the top 5% of the wealthiest americans according to the tax brackets and income levels which starts at $214,462 a year, according to the chart you provided that means the top 5% of americans donate 14.2% of their income and the poor (those making $0 to $25,000) donate 12.3%.   You also need to mention that the wealthy are in the 39.6% tax bracket (effective tax rate usually is much lower, Bernie Sanders paid %13,5 percent, Obama paid 18.7% and Trump paid 25.3%) and the poor are in a 10% tax bracket, which 45% of american households that don't make a lot of money, pay no federal income tax.  Just look at the models below.

So to say that wealthy donate less isnt' true.  

@Steve B. Tall Poppy Syndrome is enormous here man 

@Steve Vaughan Lol yeah I did share a story and the reply was "Well, they SHOULD give back" & "WHERE did they get their wealth" lmfao

@Jonathan R McLaughlin Thanks for sharing mate. It has to be considered too that whist been a lower percentage there would be a much larger total of money to be shared, as well as the fact they get taxed far higher than the poor. Also factoring in that many highly wealthy folks haven't given away anything yet, e.g billionaires but they will give away nearly everything when they die

@Peter T. Sure is man!

@Justin B. Exactly lol

@Luka Milicevic Completely agree. I embrace haters!


@Marcus Johnson I agree with you mate

Great conversations here. I would offer that one should not keep their goals of wealth building to themselves, but share them with like minded people who can hold you accountable. Never underestimate the power of accountability.

Negative attitudes towards those with money is a defence mechanism fueled by envy. It staves off their feelings of underachieving and failure.

Envy plain and simple.

Eat some gassy food before your next visit.

@Dan Wickland the mindset of your masseuse is incredibly off base and is probably based on no real evidence besides what he reads in the news or sees on tv.

As others have said most millionaires and rich people look pretty common from the exterior. In my young life I’ve met multiple well off people, and almost all of them came from humble beginnings and were entirely self made and they were all incredibly generous.

Instead of looking at someone with a large house or nice car and being jealous, try asking yourself “how did they achieve this?” And genuinely ask them that. Most of them will gladly tell you. I’ve seen it from climbing a corporate ladder, working in the right industry (and being very good at it) and I’ve also seen it from sure force of will.

I strongly believe you’re the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with 5 millionaires you’ll likely be the 6th.

@Caleb Heimsoth Thanks for sharing mate. I completely agree; you are the average of the 5 you spend the most time with! 

@Dan Wickland people’s psychology is an interesting and powerful thing. When you take 2 people about the same age, same size, same level of attractiveness and ability and economic advantage, and you compare their earnings and see a huge disparity, then the biggest factor contributing to that disparity is likely their mindset. This basically means 2 things to me, 1) someone is likely as wealthy as they limit themselves to being, and 2) if someone who is about as capable as me can achieve or accomplish great things or become very wealthy, then so can I. I just need to learn what that person already knows.

After graduating with a masters degree in social work, I got a job making 40k a year and my wife and I was super happy because it was the higher end of the expected wage bracket for my field, and I didn’t think it was possible do much better than that.  Then over the years I became a supervisor making 55k a year and felt like I was a very high wage earner for my field and I thought that I had arrived at the pinnacle of what I could expect to get to financially. Then things didn’t go so well in that job and I left in lue of getting fired. Then I went off on my own and I started my own business which eventually created about 100k of personal income a year. I thought that that was great and that I had finally hit the top of what was possible for my field. Then I started learning about real estate and learning about creating wealth and investing and over a 3 year period of time was able to increase my earnings to just over 170k a year. I don’t say any of this to brag in any way. I say this to share a point. Each time I hit the top of my earning capacity in my mind, I had to break free of that limit in order to achieve more. My next business/income goals are 500k in revenue among my different business next year and 1million in income in 2022. My goal is 10 million in net worth by age 55 (because there are people that have achieved that by age 55 which means I can too). I say this is my goal now, but at the same time I don’t want to limit myself to 10 million but it is a specific goal for me to shoot for right now. In order for this to happen I will need to hire many people along the way who will then earn money to support their families. 

That’s one more thing to remember, not only do the rich give the most, and are taxed to support social programs the most, but they also often own businesses that provide jobs and thus provide an income for sometimes hundreds or thousands of people. So regardless of what people might think, the wealthy in this country have directly or indirectly blessed financially the lives of many many people. 

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