@Brian Gibbons @John Jackson
In the world of REI I was almost literally, born yesterday. In no way am I who you targeted but I'm going to add my comment anyway.
In my personal life I've had a difficult path. I have had advantages and disadvantages like all people. We all develop coping mechanisms for situations in our lives be they good or bad and then tend to repeat these behaviors during our adult lives to varying degrees. Mine were mostly disastrous (no legal problems or anything of that nature) traits to have if you plan to do anything with your life ever.
Attaining adulthood gave me freedom but no way to do anything with it. More frightening than having to live under a perceived unfair governing system, is to find yourself with no home, no money, no food to call your own, cut off from your support system. I was not thrown out. I chose this path with the clear terms that I'd be leaving a "burnt bridge" behind me. (A new and better one has since replaced it.) Thus began the hardest and possibly most important years of my life.
Poised on the brink of disaster, I had managed to survive but the road ahead didn't lead anywhere pleasant and I couldn't see any other options. (I didn't know myself well in those days.) I met someone who was different from the other "friends" I had. Someone with direction in life. He saw a shadow of the real me, buried under all my coping methods and almost unknown to the person I was then. A deeper part of my consciousness grabbed on to that and it started a tiny spark. It wasn't yet enough for me to see the other road but now I knew there was one.
It wouldn't let up, especially not with a positive influence around. Like an extremely parched desert plant I began to come slowly to life. I once again faced making a complete life change. I had to completely leave that life behind if I was to start working for a better one. You'd think it would be easy to leave and head for hope. My life was a misery. I had never had hope before and no belief in myself. All I really had was the idea that, maybe, I was more than I thought. It was a terrifying decision. That deeper part of my consciousness spoke up. "If you're not going to lay down and die, get up and Live."
It is not in my nature to lay down and die. I am too stubborn. There's also the final question. "How do you give up on yourself, tell yourself that even to you, you mean nothing?" I can't. Even at my lowest points, I can't. I had to get up and get to living.
It's been a long and strange struggle. I've finally become the person I was meant to be. I will never stop trying to improve yet I will never be perfect. (Who'd want to?) Even without financial success I am happy. There will always be ups and downs but I now know I will get through and in my personal life I will be happy.
Every time I've been knocked down those words always inspire me. I will always get back up and live. It's all I am capable of. Someday I hope to affect someone else's life the way so many people and things have mine. I am forever grateful to the man who first showed me a glimpse of the real me and inspired me to grow.
