All Forum Posts by: Devin James

It's absolutely a case by case basis. IT really depends on how much you sacrificed to achieve the wealth and what you do with it. I have met a handful of wealthy individuals and they are miserable. All they care about is their wealth. Their health isn't important, they don't go out and make memories and they have next to zero relationships. In my opinion that life wouldn't be worth the sacrifice. My wife and I grew up in extreme poverty and had our daughter when we were 17 and still in high school. We decided to invest into real estate in our early 30s. We worked our W-2 and did real estate for 10 years. During that time it was not uncommon to miss holidays, b day parties, work 14 hour days 7 days   a week. That was our sacrifice. Now we are 16 years into it and have an 8 figure net worth. My wife and I work about 1 hour a day and spend most of our time on health. My wife's mother ended up having a massive brain tumor last year and we were able to be there for her every single day. We spent weeks in different towns to be with her while she was having, and recovering from surgery. My father passed away very suddenly last year. I am able to spend how ever much time I want with my mom helping her get through this. We are spending every other weekend in Virginia as that's where my 4 month old grandson lives. My wife will also travel down alone to spend a week at a time with our daughter and grandson. Truthfully I haven't done much in the business since my dad passed as I'm still mourning his passing. At this point we NEVER miss a holiday, wedding, b day party or anniversary. We spend our summer weekends on our boat down at the bay surrounded by friends and family. I also mentor 7 friends, family (free). My best student  crossed the 1 million mark in net worth and he is in his early 30s! This is what makes me happy! Soooooo, If you ask me if it was worth the sacrifice, I would say absolutely! I would do it all over in a second. I couldn't imagine telling my mom I can't afford to help you, or my wife not being able to be there for her mom, or not being able to see my grandson when ever we want. Now it's truly about helping and making memories with friends and family, helping them grow in health and wealth,  and working on our health daily. We are also planning to start spending winters in warmer climates... I have never been more content with my life. 

@Devin James Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I wonder if this post is about looking for validation trying to justify not giving it your all for an underlying fear of not succeeding. I see this fear a lot. “I don’t want to try because I don’t want to fail.” But then masking the fear with, a moral justification of I don’t want to dedicate what is requires to _______ (fill in the blank) because it is too much of a sacrifice of time away from my family. I think it’s hogwash. Playing small won’t serve you or your family. Raising up to your full potential as a father, husband, and provider will serve those around you

Jim Rohn says it this way when he asks the question, “How tall does a tree grow?” And then he answers his own question, “As tall as it possibly can.”

In scripture the same concept is taught with the parable of the talents. One was given 1 talent, another 2, and the last was given 5. At the end of the parable each one presented what they did with the talent. The one that got 5 doubled it. The one who got 2 doubled it as well. But the one who got 1 talent hid it away because of fear of failure. He was the only one who was not a good and faithful steward. It wasn’t how much they made, it was whether or not they were good stewards over what they got. They multiplied what they received. They didn’t justify an underperformance out of fear.

So rather than looking for validation for underperforming and hiding behind the moral justification of not wanting to sacrifice the time with family that it takes to achieve _______ (whatever thing), the better question is, how can I reach my full potential as a provider while at the same time figuring out a way to meet my full potential as a husband and father and all other roles in my life. That is the burden of a man. How do I rise to my highest and best potential in every role of my life without giving into the temptation of justifying underperformance in any area of my life.

For perspective, let me share with you a real regret. I fit into what @Nathan Gesner defined as the wealthy. I wouldn’t yet fit into the ultra wealthy category. During the COVID lockdowns, I still worked. My wealth was tied up in assets and I wasn’t at a place financially to not work. So I missed out on taking a year off with my wife and kids and just fully enjoying the time we could experience together. 

Similarly, My mother-in-law went to live in assisted living homes rather than us having a guest house in the backyard of our current home where we could have hired a nurse full time to be here with her to take care of her at our home. The same thing is happening with my own mother now. I highly regret not being further ahead of where I am currently financially to where I could provide more comfort to those I care about during their vulnerable times in their life.

You see, wealth is not just about you. Wealth is about those you care about.  It’s more about duty than desire.

Please don’t take offense to anything I have said. What was described may not fit your situation at all. If it does, then it may be worth reflecting upon.

Well, I'm not ultra wealthy - I'm not even sure if I fit the definition of wealthy - but I guess I'll chime in anyway. As someone who grew up ridiculously poor, I have more wealth than I probably ever figured on having. I worked a W2 my whole life, invested in myself and RE on the side. I never made more than $100k in a year working until my last year of employment, and still managed to retire at 50 with a lifetime pension from a combination of military and public service. I own all my toys, never seriously worry about money (I suspect everyone with any money always at least pays attention to it), spend my winters in Florida and rarely work in any sense (I do some consulting and side teaching) more than 10 hours a week. I take my dog to see his friends at the dog park every morning and usually take an hour or two nap in the afternoon most days. Some days I am literally baffled at how I spent an entire day doing nothing.

To me, that feels pretty wealthy. I guess I could work harder and get more money, but what for?

I think the answer will differ for everyone as you said.  Lots of people who invest in real estate and have a good amount of wealth do work hard, but they also watch where their money goes.  I don't feel I do without.  I don't eat out a lot or go on fancy vacations (I do travel), I don't buy a new car every 4-5 years (I do keep it up, but my first car was ~20 years old when I traded it in this spring).  I don't work crazy hours-probably more than 40 hours a week most weeks, but not more than 50 hours and I do get my sleep.  Some of it is luck or taking advantage of opportunities (eg low interest rates).  I don't want to live in a mansion or have sport cars (nothing wrong if that is what you like, but that isn't what would make me happy).

I plan on retiring in about 5 years before I am 60.  I have no where near $30M and while I make a good salary, it is not over $200K.

The demise to the ultra wealthy are akin to your regular W2 employee; marrying wrong. To the wealthy trying to get ultra wealthy-- leverage & marrying wrong.

So the difference between you spending 7-8 hours sleeping and dinner with your family, is not different than a W2 employee making $75k/annually and an ultra wealthy person making $75k/hour.

It's just the systems in place. 

There's a few ultra wealthy here, they can speak up too. I would stop short of saying I found the inflection point of optimality and being pragmatic. 

I work 9am-1pm Mon-Thurs. And alternating Fridays 11am-1pm. I travel for REI, businesses, my own business, and other interests related to work on average 2 days a month.

I drop off my kids to school and then later pick them up with my wife after going to the gym every weekday during the school year together. She works part time because it's a good balance of her interests, and protection for the family. Health insurance, 401k, etc., and usually 8am-12/1pm daily. 

It did not start this way, in 2017 through 2020(right before Covid) I worked 12 hour days, minimum, but I had the support I needed and knew to balance certain things. 2020-2021 I worked more, I would say. 

2022 systems were put in place; this is where most wealthy will fail to become ultra wealthy and you'll  see the horrible climb & never  the view. Much like by the end of this decade, I will take those same steps to become even less involved with work and have more times with my kids who will be really developing and that will be my focus.

The difference once I made money, and was able to make it make money for me I de-risked by eliminating leverage. And, most importantly, I married right. This doesn't mean I'm not exposed to tail risks that could demise my life, but I feel a lot more protected and have no real stress in my daily life. 

Could I have scaled more by re-leveraging? Sure. ****, I do that in the REI aspect but that's just cause it's a growing % of the portfolio. Otherwise, I don't partake in keeping up with the Jones's.

It's absolutely worth it. The fact I can do nothing for years, and know my family is taken care of above & beyond makes me feel quite grateful. The fact I can go to my kid's golf game today, yet still catch a vendor overcharging me $81 the day before on a SFR in Georgia makes me feel the systems that are in place, plus the ability to manage sacrifices has paid off.

I've had the same team in most of businesses for almost 8 years, and have a growing RE team that continue to impress me.  Most people I see that are wealthy are burdened by leverage and spouse, and most that are ultra wealthy are burdened by their spouse. Debt is rarely a factor in their issue.

There is the black and white approach where only $100mm and 4% body fat are acceptable. But your outlook is much more realistic, logical and attainable. Nothing wrong with 10% body fat and $300k in the bank.

The amount of time and energy that it takes to gain 'ultra-wealthy' status are insane....and you have to give up many things that give you a happy. healthy, well-balanced life. So I think the operative wird is balance.

Note - Most of my career in Construction was spent working for exremely wealthy people that you speak of. ($12 mm dollar houses and all that....) I can count the number of those people who were healthy and happy on one hand, and have fingers left over.

I wonder what the OP's true motivation is for asking this question. Many people have limiting beliefs, a mental barrier that prevents someone from achieving their goals or living fully, so they sabotage any hopes of progress through words or actions. I used to be this way. It almost feels like he's asking this question as a means of justifying his own inaction.

EXAMPLE: Jake tells his friends he doesn't want to marry a "beautiful" woman because he believes they are "selfish," "materialistic," or "high-maintenance." He prides himself on having "realistic" standards and claims to value inner qualities over appearance. The truth is, he would love to marry a beautiful woman, but he feels inadequate, is unwilling to put in the work, or fears failure.

• Jake avoids pursuing relationships with attractive women, convincing himself they wouldn't be interested in someone like him.
• When he does meet a beautiful woman who is kind and down-to-earth, he becomes distant or dismissive, focusing on minor flaws to justify his lack of interest. See Jason Alexander's character on "Shallow Hal" for a perfect example.
• He criticizes his friends who date attractive partners, accusing them of being shallow or warning them that "it won’t last."

Underlying Truth: Jake’s actions are rooted in insecurity. Deep down, he worries he’s not successful, confident, or attractive enough to "deserve" a beautiful partner. Rather than face the fear of rejection or work on his self-esteem, he convinces himself that beautiful women are inherently undesirable. Jake may also shy away from the effort and vulnerability required to build a healthy relationship. He prefers to stay in his comfort zone rather than risk feeling inadequate or rejected in a relationship that would challenge him to grow.

By creating a narrative that vilifies attractive women, Jake shields himself from the discomfort of confronting his insecurities.

This is very similar to how people feel about building a business, investing in real estate, starting a new hobby, or creating new relationships.

“live your dash” 

if you do not know what that is google it. pretty powerful and it seems like the original poster is doing this. I am a type A person so for me my lifestyle is different from others - but I do not judge one as being right or wrong, as I started - at the end of the day we each need to live our dash.

this is a hugely subjective question.  and on BP ultra wealthy could mean 1 mil in cash or 100 mil in cash or billion dollar empire :)  One thing is certain unless you inherit wealth it takes some amount of work to obtain it. How much depends on what you do for a living.

Biggest wealth generators I personally see or those i personally know that most would consider wealthy are those that built a business and sold it .. Thereby cashing in on the sale.