@Chaz Mathias asset protection attorney here. From a professional standpoint, it’s wise to draft a prenup to ensure you leave with what you entered the marriage with. This doesn’t HAVE to cause conflict with your partner but of course, it’s a tough conversation to have. Bounce it off of a qualified AP attorney or family attorney with AP experience to get the best agreement for you. Given that 50%+ marriages end in divorce, it’s just the smart move.
As a person with a heart, I understand this can be a difficult subject. Good communication is already vital to a relationship and will be important here. You want your spouse-to-be to understand what’s going on with the agreement. A conversation ahead of visiting an attorney together can go a long way so she doesn’t feel blindsided. If she raises helll or throws a fit in response to a calm, rational discussion of the issue...Well, frankly that would make me skeptical of her reluctance and motives for resisting the prenup. Of course, this is a sensitive subject and she has every right to voice her feelings on the matter. And it’s generally a good idea to let a woman express how she feels in a constructive manner. When giving your perspective it may be helpful to keep things as rational as possible. Point out that this is a worst case scenario, not something you expect to have to use. Keeping things as objective as possible should minimize the chance of arguments. Own your own feelings, be transparent about your motivations, and be open to collaboration with her and you may be surprised by a positive response. If someone truly loves you, they should not want any assets that they do not rightfully deserve.
You do not mention if you are in a community property state or if your spouse is also an investor. This is why you really should speak to an attorney licensed to practice wherever you plan to get married. There are ways to jointly own property that will protect your interest in assets while married as well. Land trusts can use a legal method called tenancy by the entireties for jointly owned property (again depending on state). You can also have a real estate attorney form a married couple LLC with an operating agreement that spells out terms you both agree to in any state.
I wish you the best of luck and congratulations. Hope you never have to use the agreement, but I do believe it’s wise to have one in place and carefully observe your loved ones reaction to the conversation. People can show you a lot about who they are during these conversations, and it’s better to have it ahead of time. Money is often a source of conflict in marriage even under the best of circumstances. So getting this potential argument out of the way before the marriage is probably the best course of action. Good luck to you and let us know how it goes!