But if you're just providing the funds as a loan, it might be easier to just set yourself a flat/fixed rate of return and be hands off.

You can screen-cap them from your phone with the date and time.

Without knowing much about the situation, I can only think of a few reasons why an agent wouldn't want to talk about that stuff over the phone: at the top of the list is that they flat-out don't know, for example because they are servicing a bulk listing (distressed property, etc). 

At first I was nice, just wanting to get to know what type of person he is (because I didn't screen him I didn't know anything about him and he's living in my house), but he's texting me about things that clearly did not require communication. 

I have funded tons of sub 10k deals over the years and those all had flat fee's of 2k on them or 20%....

The tenants looked good on paper, made 3x the rent ect so they screened well.

There are plenty of realtors that will write up the paperwork for you for a flat fee instead of a commission, if your going to do it either get a license or get someone on board that has one.

Obviously the possible tenants would be screened just as if they were just renting it.

As to having an attorney, if you have one he is either an idiot or he's a weasel, I'll be happy to tell him that right to his computer screen if you can get him on here.

Pay them a flat fee to help you oversee the transaction and deal with the paperwork.Also remember that they are going to be sharing that fee with their broker.