Seller being way too emotional?

56 Replies

Tell me what you think. Is this seller way too emotional?

Asking price $192,000. On market for 5 days. 3 unit building.

There are 3 water heaters, ALL need to be replaced. There are also 10 windows that ALL need to be replaced. That’s why I took 12,000 off the asking price because it does need some major repairs.

She never released the LBP, SDA, or the building financials. We put in a addendum stating within 24 hours of signing the contract we need those papers or else I can back out.

Wednesday night we submitted an offer to her agent with a 24 hour offer expiration(expires Thursday at 1201am). The offer was $180,000 with 2% seller help at closing with closing in 60 days. She confirmed she received the offer at 8am Thursday morning. She chose not to respond to us until 7pm Thursday night with a counter offer of $187,000 with 2% seller help and 45 days till close.

Great! We are getting somewhere. I gave her the 45 days till close(I wanted that anyways, but wanted to make her feel like she was winning), I EVEN gave her the $187,000 asking price BUT at 2.5% seller help OR $185,000 at 2% seller help. This was at 8pm Thursday night. Remember offer expires 1201am Thursday night.

Radio silence from her. She decided to go to bed instead of getting this deal done. Her agent asked my agent to extend until Friday at noon. I said no we gave you a deadline, and this seller chose to ignore it. I’m giving her just about everything she wanted, I just want to get the deal done before others come in and start competing with me. There’s 1 empty unit that I told her must remain empty. She flipped out. I even gave her an extra 3,000 deposit, making $500 of that non refundable to show her good faith that I do understand that she wants to rent the unit but I can’t have another one of her tenants in my building. I’m already stuck with 2 of her tenants on fresh 1 year leases. Rents are 50-150$ under market.

So at 1201am Friday morning I text my agent stating that the offer has expired and I’m rescinding it. I send him a new offer to give them when she wakes up. The new offer is:

$185,000 with 2.5% seller help, 45 day closing, still need all the financials and paperwork, giving her over $6,000 for a deposit, $500 being non refundable, and she has until NOON today(Friday) to get back to me or else I’m walking.

She told her agent I was being a bully and being too aggressive. My agent said we should move on which I agree with.

But here’s my question. If you list a house, you get a legit offer (I’m not low balling her here. There’s legit 12-15 grand worth of immediate repairs needed to be done) and you choose to drag your feet, and then call me a BULLY? Come on. I wanted this deal to be done last night. I wasn’t happy about giving her 187,000 but I did to get this deal done. She chose to go to sleep knowing the offer was expiring at midnight.

I’ve got a lot of money tied up and on the line. When I send you an offer I expect you to drop everything and get the deal done because that’s what I’m doing as well. It pisses me off that you would decide to go to bed. So look I wasn’t happy going to 187, but I did, you pissed me off so you lost money by choosing to sleep. And now I’m a Bully?

No. I’m a business man. When I give you an offer I mean it. I gave you a legit, solid offer. I could have gave you one at 160,000 or something really low. But I didn’t want to insult you and I wanted the deal done ASAP.

Do you guys think I was being too aggressive? Or being a bully? Or is this old lady out of her mind? I mean seriously it’s business. Get the deal done.

Thanks for reading. Look forward to your thoughts.

From what I read you were being quite aggressive. You two got into a "split hairs" over $1000 on a $187,000 offer. (2% or 2.5%). Coming to an agreement is one piece, you also have to decide if you want to go through a whole transaction with this person. It sounds like you two were not a good fit. Sellers (and buyers) also have other things going on. She could be working 7 deals each over $20 mil and yours just wasn't her "most important thing". She could have a relative in the hospital she was spending all night with and trying to work your deal and fight over a grand just wasn't in her timeline. 

I have had several clients (and myself) have walked from offers that were very pushy. I have rejected offers just because I know what that agent is going to turn this deal into down the road. Saying "No, I gave her a deadline and here is a new offer when she wakes up" (Over .005%) would tell me as a seller that you want to drive this whole deal, the very next issue we find is going to blow up and turn into a nightmare. 

Not saying that's the case, but it's how it reads to me. Good luck on your next one!

Yes. I think you’re being WAY to emotional. You texted your realtor and told them to lower your offer $900 at midnight? Why? The seller had just give you a $10,000 discount on a property that had been on the market less than a week.

@Mike Cumbie  

Thanks for your response. No we weren’t splitting hairs over a $1000 because she chose not to not answer and let the contract expire. 

She owns 2 buildings and this is the only one for sale, so this must have her undivided attention. 

The way I see it was she got a very strong offer right off the bat (Only 4 day old listing when I submitted). We all know most of the time the first offer is the strongest. 

I’m not being pushy. This is my business. When I say something I do it. If I tell you I’ll buy your house for 187 I mean it. I expect to be treated with respect because again I have a lot of time and money on the line. She instead was being the bully by freaking out about the vacant unit, about the paperwork I was supposed to get from day 1, and trying to drag this out and not get back to us until the 11th hour. 

It’s just business. I don’t need to buy YOUR house. There’s 100000000s of houses out there I can buy. I just don’t like to submit legit offers and be drug through the mud. 
 



Originally posted by @Bill Brandt :

Yes. I think you’re being WAY to emotional. You texted your realtor and told them to lower your offer $900 at midnight? Why? The seller had just give you a $10,000 discount on a property that had been on the market less than a week.

 Im with Bill here. You sound like the one being emotional, and it sounds like you were trying to bully the person into make a quick decision, and that likely backfired on you.  Quick offer deadlines are passive aggressive, and when used you should expect them to piss people off.

You may view yourself as not being pushy more important is what the seller view of you is. Real estate is emotional maybe not to you but for a lot people it is.  People always forget that there is a human on the other side of the deal.  The better you can understand and understand what they may feel the better you can change adapt yourself to the situation. Yes, I get it this is business but also a true pro knows when to adapt and change to get a deal done. Just my 2 cents. 

Originally posted by @Dylan Thomas :

@Mike Cumbie  

Thanks for your response. No we weren’t splitting hairs over a $1000 because she chose not to not answer and let the contract expire. 

She owns 2 buildings and this is the only one for sale, so this must have her undivided attention. 

The way I see it was she got a very strong offer right off the bat (Only 4 day old listing when I submitted). We all know most of the time the first offer is the strongest. 

I’m not being pushy. This is my business. When I say something I do it. If I tell you I’ll buy your house for 187 I mean it. I expect to be treated with respect because again I have a lot of time and money on the line. She instead was being the bully by freaking out about the vacant unit, about the paperwork I was supposed to get from day 1, and trying to drag this out and not get back to us until the 11th hour. 

It’s just business. I don’t need to buy YOUR house. There’s 100000000s of houses out there I can buy. I just don’t like to submit legit offers and be drug through the mud.

Depends: Do you want to buy properties (obviously this "technique" doesn't work :-) or do you just want to feel like you control the whole transaction? I guess you controlled it, until you didn't . . . Seller's have free will.

 

@Dylan Thomas you say "When I send you an offer I expect you to drop everything and get the deal done because that’s what I’m doing as well.  It pisses me off"    Your expectation is not realistic and you are being emotional, not the seller.    She is imagining working through the whole sale with you like this and saw you as pushy. She saw 5k off asking and loss of 2 months rent and maybe wants to see what other offers are out there. Also she may have a life outside real estate she is tending to.  Not saying yours wasn't an ok offer but not everyone is living and breathing for real estate. Maybe money wise your offer is the best but the dealing with you might not be worth it for her. 

Sounds to me like the buyer is the one that's too emotional.  If it was me, and my deadline passed, I never would have made that follow up offer.  All you did was draw a line in the sand, and when she crossed it, you said "OK", backed up and drew another one.  Your actions just told her you were anxious, and put her in control.

By the way, even if the seller was acting emotional...it would have been her right.  The seller can do whatever the heck they want.  It's their property.  They're not obligated to act any particular way.

Is your objective to buy the property at a price that works for you or to control the process and dictate the rules of the game.  Is there a legitimate reason for your deadline?  If the sellers disregard for the deadline makes it impossible to do the deal then move on.  Were I the seller, your re-offer with the petty financial penalty would tell me that you are likely to use the DD period as a tool to renegotiate the deal down the road.

In my opinion you are sending the wrong signals. Not the seller.

Are you going through menopause ,getting hot flashes or what ? Give the woman some breathing room geez man . I’d probably flip my wig too . Is this your only property or something you ever offered on. This is no way to conduct business .

Originally posted by @Dylan Thomas :

Tell me what you think. Is this seller way too emotional?

Asking price $192,000. On market for 5 days. 3 unit building.

There are 3 water heaters, ALL need to be replaced. There are also 10 windows that ALL need to be replaced. That’s why I took 12,000 off the asking price because it does need some major repairs.

She never released the LBP, SDA, or the building financials. We put in a addendum stating within 24 hours of signing the contract we need those papers or else I can back out.

Wednesday night we submitted an offer to her agent with a 24 hour offer expiration(expires Thursday at 1201am). The offer was $180,000 with 2% seller help at closing with closing in 60 days. She confirmed she received the offer at 8am Thursday morning. She chose not to respond to us until 7pm Thursday night with a counter offer of $187,000 with 2% seller help and 45 days till close.

Great! We are getting somewhere. I gave her the 45 days till close(I wanted that anyways, but wanted to make her feel like she was winning), I EVEN gave her the $187,000 asking price BUT at 2.5% seller help OR $185,000 at 2% seller help. This was at 8pm Thursday night. Remember offer expires 1201am Thursday night.

Radio silence from her. She decided to go to bed instead of getting this deal done. Her agent asked my agent to extend until Friday at noon. I said no we gave you a deadline, and this seller chose to ignore it. I’m giving her just about everything she wanted, I just want to get the deal done before others come in and start competing with me. There’s 1 empty unit that I told her must remain empty. She flipped out. I even gave her an extra 3,000 deposit, making $500 of that non refundable to show her good faith that I do understand that she wants to rent the unit but I can’t have another one of her tenants in my building. I’m already stuck with 2 of her tenants on fresh 1 year leases. Rents are 50-150$ under market.

So at 1201am Friday morning I text my agent stating that the offer has expired and I’m rescinding it. I send him a new offer to give them when she wakes up. The new offer is:

$185,000 with 2.5% seller help, 45 day closing, still need all the financials and paperwork, giving her over $6,000 for a deposit, $500 being non refundable, and she has until NOON today(Friday) to get back to me or else I’m walking.

She told her agent I was being a bully and being too aggressive. My agent said we should move on which I agree with.

But here’s my question. If you list a house, you get a legit offer (I’m not low balling her here. There’s legit 12-15 grand worth of immediate repairs needed to be done) and you choose to drag your feet, and then call me a BULLY? Come on. I wanted this deal to be done last night. I wasn’t happy about giving her 187,000 but I did to get this deal done. She chose to go to sleep knowing the offer was expiring at midnight.

I’ve got a lot of money tied up and on the line. When I send you an offer I expect you to drop everything and get the deal done because that’s what I’m doing as well. It pisses me off that you would decide to go to bed. So look I wasn’t happy going to 187, but I did, you pissed me off so you lost money by choosing to sleep. And now I’m a Bully?

No. I’m a business man. When I give you an offer I mean it. I gave you a legit, solid offer. I could have gave you one at 160,000 or something really low. But I didn’t want to insult you and I wanted the deal done ASAP.

Do you guys think I was being too aggressive? Or being a bully? Or is this old lady out of her mind? I mean seriously it’s business. Get the deal done.

Thanks for reading. Look forward to your thoughts.

You're being too emotional actually. Make your offer and if they take it cool. If not move on to the next one. No biggie. The strong arm approach with the "take the offer tonight or else" doesn't really work. I get 100's of those offers every year and ignore the deadlines on all of them if countering by the deadline doesn't suite the seller. Guess what, when the offer is accept or countered post deadline 98% of the buyers are still ready to play ball. Why? Because they want to buy the property. The ones that don't weren't going to close anyway. Responding post deadline is actually a decent way to clear the deck and get the tire kickers out of the way.

 

Originally posted by @Russell Brazil :
Originally posted by @Bill Brandt:

Yes. I think you’re being WAY to emotional. You texted your realtor and told them to lower your offer $900 at midnight? Why? The seller had just give you a $10,000 discount on a property that had been on the market less than a week.

 Im with Bill here. You sound like the one being emotional, and it sounds like you were trying to bully the person into make a quick decision, and that likely backfired on you.  Quick offer deadlines are passive aggressive, and when used you should expect them to piss people off.

 In addition, do not bother your Realtor at midnight. 

Originally posted by @Russell Brazil :
Originally posted by @Bill Brandt:

Yes. I think you’re being WAY to emotional. You texted your realtor and told them to lower your offer $900 at midnight? Why? The seller had just give you a $10,000 discount on a property that had been on the market less than a week.

 Im with Bill here. You sound like the one being emotional, and it sounds like you were trying to bully the person into make a quick decision, and that likely backfired on you.  Quick offer deadlines are passive aggressive, and when used you should expect them to piss people off.

short term quick offer response dead lines are so  2009 to 2010..  I ignore them as do most sellers.. 

need to mello out  some.. and 500 non refundable is a joke..  not sure why you think that even means anything.

when we are in hot markets we give 5k non refundable.. not 500.00.. 

 

Wow... This is a case study in how NOT to negotiate.  There's a book called "Never Split the Difference" which I would absolutely assign as homework after this fail. 


Just because she only owns two properties doesn't mean she doesn't have a lot going on in her life. Some people truly need to "sleep" on a decision, so she did.  I find it interesting that you wanted to hurry before someone else came along to make an offer.  But it backfired badly.  You basically SHOWED her that she should expect other offers to come along.  She doesn't owe you squat.  Rethink your strategy next time.

Thank you all for your constructive feedback. Lots of good points brought up to consider for the next time. 

I am always learning and growing as a person. And I will admit some mistakes were made that I wish I could go back and change. But with that being said I do not apologize for being decisive and knowing what I need and want, while also giving the other party just about everything they wanted. That’s business. I’m not as much a relationship person, but a get it done at all costs. Emotional people drive me crazy, yet I need to be more sympathetic to them and their situation. I will reconsider how I handle some situations going forward. Again thank you all. 

Originally posted by @Dylan Thomas :

Thank you all for your constructive feedback. Lots of good points brought up to consider for the next time. 

I am always learning and growing as a person. And I will admit some mistakes were made that I wish I could go back and change. But with that being said I do not apologize for being decisive and knowing what I need and want, while also giving the other party just about everything they wanted. That’s business. I’m not as much a relationship person, but a get it done at all costs. Emotional people drive me crazy, yet I need to be more sympathetic to them and their situation. I will reconsider how I handle some situations going forward. Again thank you all. 

 One more piece of advice that I think will help you out moving forward is to make sure you do not create an unnecessary sense of urgency. By that I mean there was no real reason why the seller would have needed to act as quick as you wanted them to. At least no way that was in their best interest. You wanted them to act urgently but in reality it benefited them to think about it and allow more buyers to have access to it. You're goal was to avoid other buyers jumping on your deal but the seller had a Realtor. One of the main reasons people hire Realtors is so they can help them navigate things like this. 

When you are dealing with a sophisticated Realtor they know what they have. When I market a listing I know if it's going to get a ton of offers immediately or if it's priced in a way that's going to end up with it going stale. So that said it sounds like everyone knew this house was hot including the seller. No need for her to act with urgency as it only benefited you. Super important in business that you understand the objectives of the other party. Meeting them is how you get the deals.

Originally posted by @Dylan Thomas :

Thank you all for your constructive feedback. Lots of good points brought up to consider for the next time. 

I am always learning and growing as a person. And I will admit some mistakes were made that I wish I could go back and change. But with that being said I do not apologize for being decisive and knowing what I need and want, while also giving the other party just about everything they wanted. That’s business. I’m not as much a relationship person, but a get it done at all costs. Emotional people drive me crazy, yet I need to be more sympathetic to them and their situation. I will reconsider how I handle some situations going forward. Again thank you all. 

. Anger is an emotion and you said yourself you were getting pretty pissed off about things. I really dont see how the seller was being emotional at all, sounded more like a typical deal.

This is a very people oriented business, i really think you have to enjoy working with people to have sustained success. If you arent a 'relationship person' this honestly may not be the right industry for you.
 

Emotional people drive you crazy........

Seems there's some emotion in there somewhere after all @DylanThomas try to control that not the transaction by trusting your numbers enough to know that if this deal doesnt meet them in the end you didnt want it anyway. 

Its competitive out there and I realize you want to take it down before somebody else does. Just reign it in s touch.  Horses and sellers give to pressure. Too much pressure will always make em run. 

@Dylan Thomas. I see a very long post about a seller being too emotional than many long posts trying to explain it. There are only 2 numbers in real estate. The sellers and the buyers. My suggestion is your too emotional. When her number is more than yours you walk simple. No hard feelings. I’ve made 3 offers to the same couple in the last year on 3 different properties. We finally agreed on one and closed today. No hard feelings none of this stuff like you posted. It’s all buisness. Your the one putting emotion in the deal. Seller is following your lead

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