Failure how do you get over it?
The most glaring mistake to me is buying in bad areas. You want bad houses in good areas, or up and coming areas, so that your equity isn't torn down by the neighborhood around what you own. And yes, if you want passive cash flow rentals are the way to go.
It also sounds like you've gone solo on most of this. If flips were too hard of work, hire contractors to do the work for you. Being an electrician I bet you know some good ones. It's win-win, your buddies get more work and you get time to focus on doing the things that are less physical labor that make you more money.
You're only a failure in the present tense if you keep making the same mistakes. So learn from your mistakes, educate, make a plan and try again.
@Scott Baker Brother unless you only have a one chapter book you made a lot of progress in your learning curve. Get back on your horse and ride. This thread is about you and your thread, but you seem like you have a lot of energy and drive. Your expectations are not practical in they are to high in the short term.
Best regards
Thanks for the replies! I picked up my spirts thanks to you. I attended a local real estate meeting Tuesday and I took my friends. It ended with my friends wanting to partner up, one with the funding and the other with the management and I will be doing the buying and renovations. Just a slight change in attitude was all it took to start fresh with endless possibilities!
Now to find some deals south of Pittsburgh, PA!
I recommend reading the book Failing Forward by John Maxwell
What you just described sounds like typical real estate investing. I didn't see anything above about failing, maybe I missed something.
This sentence is troubling: "the flips did well but they were hard work". Everything in real estate is hard work. Maybe you thought you'd buy a few houses and then go retire on the beach like the late night TV commercials. Maybe that's why you think you failed? "the flips did well" sounds like the opposite of failure. That's the good news.
The bad news is it's nothing but hard work from here. That's not failure, that's real estate.
@Ken George I think focus may be undermining your success. You need to look at long term goals instead of bouncing around. You are either getting board or impatient, so you jump to the next thing before even achieving success in the first thing. The only path to success will be long term dedication. Just to put in perspective, here is what you told us:
- Bought 29 houses
- Sold 29 houses
- Focus on W2 job
- Quit W2 job
- Focus on MLM
- Flip 2 houses
- Post on BP "how do I succeed after failure"
- Five days later, partnered with friends and looking for deals
Make sure your friends are not like you. Neither one of them should have ADHD and they should have a pattern of long term dedication to jobs and other endeavors. You need partners that have strengths where your weakness is, which is focus.
Good luck, clearly you have skills, you just need focus and you will knock it out of the park.
#2 General Landlording & Rental Properties Contributor
You definatly need focus as @Joe Splitrock points out. That appears to have been the route cause of your problems.
Real estate investing requires 100% focus for success. Focus is not a gift it is a skill like any other that is learned and applied. Your situation simply requires you learn to manage it.
Thanks for the replies! ADHD is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and it has ruined my mind a few times. The team I am getting together should be everything I need to stay focused.
Once I got the info out of my head and looked through this posts again I can say why I am so crazy. Too much success has blessed me. I have always been great at every career I had, I always advanced quickly and I was a leader that co-workers looked up to. What would it look like if everything you ever did was a success? You would do everything you can, right? After looking back this is my issue.
But my ADHD makes it hard to communicate with me. I can be one track minded or all over the place. The end result is alway a good outcome but it's not the first interaction. I need time to see everything from all angles and take input from everyone before I see the best results. I use the teams I work with to get to the root problem and solve it by using everyones ideas uniquely.
I can't focus on one project at a time, I need multiple things going on. For example, I look at things like planning the drywall and setting up the electrical to make both projects go faster. Where to place the boxes so hanging sheets of drywall easier. I don't look for the lazy way out but how to make things more efficient.
The flip was hard work which I don't mind. I listen to the podcasts which is where I was making the comparison between my investing and that of the big guys. They get to the point of not working so hard in the business but on the business. I was trying to rush things and that is not a good idea.
Thanks for reaching out to me. I really feel like you folks care and are honest. Everything you said is exactly what I needed to hear.
I actually keep a failure journal and write down what went wrong in different situations. That way I can learn from all of the mistakes. For instance when I first started as an agent I took notes on all of my client conversations and wrote down what went well and what didn't. I keep a failure journal on my rentals. What happened that caused me stress and what can I do to prevent that in the future.
A google doc suffices.
It's more just changing your mindset to understanding that failure is really just an opportunity to learn something. Very few things in life can knock you completely out of the race, and you can only really lose what you put in (time and money).
So if one rental or flip goes wrong you will survive. Also keep in mind that time cures mistakes in Real Estate. If you wait long enough your rental will end up OK. Obviously you don't want to have to rely on that, but you'll be OK.
My wife is a PHd psychologist, has ADD and is a very successful business woman. As other have mentioned focus seems to be where you are lacking. My wife really prefers to not take medication but it certainly helps when she needs to concentrate for long periods of time.
One thing that has helped me stay focused is getting a coach and support system around me to hold me accountable to the long term goals i communicate to them. I have a CEO group i am apart of mentor and have had various business coaches for different parts of my business that keep me accountable.
You don't have to pay money for it but you do get a higher caliber of people. There are a lot of team members in my companies that hold each other accountable to things and some of them even have once a week accountability partner in another state. The most important thing is find someone and do it consistently.
Find a way to surround yourself with people that can keep you focus and uplifted, and maybe even seek professional psychological help. I run 3 businesses and have a psychologist in my corner that helps keep me straight.
Originally posted by @Ken George:
Thanks for the replies! ADHD is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and it has ruined my mind a few times. The team I am getting together should be everything I need to stay focused.
Once I got the info out of my head and looked through this posts again I can say why I am so crazy. Too much success has blessed me. I have always been great at every career I had, I always advanced quickly and I was a leader that co-workers looked up to. What would it look like if everything you ever did was a success? You would do everything you can, right? After looking back this is my issue.
But my ADHD makes it hard to communicate with me. I can be one track minded or all over the place. The end result is alway a good outcome but it's not the first interaction. I need time to see everything from all angles and take input from everyone before I see the best results. I use the teams I work with to get to the root problem and solve it by using everyones ideas uniquely.
I can't focus on one project at a time, I need multiple things going on. For example, I look at things like planning the drywall and setting up the electrical to make both projects go faster. Where to place the boxes so hanging sheets of drywall easier. I don't look for the lazy way out but how to make things more efficient.
The flip was hard work which I don't mind. I listen to the podcasts which is where I was making the comparison between my investing and that of the big guys. They get to the point of not working so hard in the business but on the business. I was trying to rush things and that is not a good idea.
Thanks for reaching out to me. I really feel like you folks care and are honest. Everything you said is exactly what I needed to hear.
have you ever been diagnosed or treated for ADHD?
@Ken George
What did you fail at?
Rentals can very hard work, and they have their ups and downs. Giving up because its hard is the only sure way to fail.
#2 Contractors Contributor
- Severna Park, MD
Its not failure ,its a learning experience . Now good contractors are hard to find , If you are a licensed electrician , practice that trade , make some bank and then buy rentals as you go .
@Steve K. Yes, I have ADHD and on medication for it. @Anthony Angotti I did just get a nice journal to keep records of everything. It helped in the past but I got out of it lately. @Sam Craven I agree with you on getting a coach. Actually I lucked out there. I meet once a week for the past three weeks with two investors that own almost 200 units between both of them. They are helping me, I will look for someone to keep me accountable. Unfortunately the psychologists that I meet with are just pill pushers and I hate it. Not one of the doctors I have seen had time to actually review my daily routines. They just see my past history and medical records and just say here, take this. Now it does help but it doesn't fix everything. @Nathan Wankel I failed by being stupid! I blew the money I made. I grew up dirt poor. So when I was making a few grand a month I spent it. I bought new cars, nicer things, bigger tv's, hot tub, pool, you know that fun stuff that we never use. We sold the big house we had renovated a house on two acres where we live now. So we even live in one of our flips. I know I can make the money and do the work, thats no problem. I just need to keep my hands out of the cookie jar. @Matthew Paul I am doing electrical work to help family and friends which keeps me busy when nothing else is going on.
yea it sucks when a psychiatrist just wants to push pills instead of giving you the tools to work. Look for a psychologist with a humanistic approach. May have more luck there vs just picking randoms. Also one that dont take insurance are typically better because taking insurance forces them to give a "diagnosis" in one session vs fully understanding the client.