Body of Arkansas Real Estate Agent Found: Hits home as I have to show by myself

115 Replies

Body of Arkansas Real Estate Agent found, this is so sad! Praying for the family. This hits me hard as I have to show property by myself and the thought has crossed my mind as to what could happen. Things I do:

Never show at night

If its just a man by himself I open the door and I stay out in the drive way while he looks

Keep my phone and pepper spray in hand (if its just a guy)

Any other thoughts/ ideas??

You can choose to live in fear or not.    All actions in life carry a risk.    Something like 15,000 people are murdered each year?      100k people die each year because a doctor/nurse messed up, should you not go to the doctor now too?      

I get what you say saying and there is no sense in being reckless, but take into account the real risks and act accordingly.   Don't just knee jerk because they found a pretty girl to put up on the TV.   

Then again, i'm 6' tall 250lbs and hairy....nobody wants to kidnap and rape me so I suppose this is easy to say.

@Leigh C  

I did these things even before what happened to this lady, so no knee jerking here. Guess you've never had a close encounter of someone trying to harm you, but I have and its no fun.

BTW, I'm 5' 95 lbs on a good day :)

Study martial arts - good for the mind, good for the body, good for messing up rapist murderer creeps.

People are preyed on every day in all walks of life. Just because one agent out of hundreds of thousands was killed, doesn't mean it's a wide spread problem. I bet more people were killed on that day going into convenience stores. Should we stand outside of the store with pepper spray and a phone yelling inside what we'd like to purchase if it wasn't so risky to go inside? No, it would be absurd.

Seriously, if you're not willing to learn to protect yourself, then don't complain when you become the victim. The world is a vicious place and the knowledge to hedge your bets against all that nastiness is available in almost every strip mall.

FYI, I've been pepper sprayed in the face when I was in the military. It was part of basic training and I actually didn't think it was all that painful and definitely not disabling.

Originally posted by @Amanda Young:

@Leigh C 

I did these things even before what happened to this lady, so no knee jerking here. Guess you've never had a close encounter of someone trying to harm you, but I have and its no fun.

BTW, I'm 5' 95 lbs on a good day :)

 I'll admit to living a charmed life.    I'm a black belt in karate (not really sure it would help much when it comes to being at gun point) and i've gotten into plenty of fights back in high school but they were mostly on my terms as I could of gotten away before it came to blows.

I can't imagine what that fear is like and typically I try to live in an ignorant bliss that nobody is "out to get me".    The risk that stress will hurt you i'd guess is higher than the actual risk of something happening.

@Leigh C  

Account Closed 

I guess I gave the impression I live in fear? Its more like being aware of your surroundings and being proactive. Like never leaving your drink unattended at a bar to go to the bathroom. Think smart and  be aware.

This post has been removed.

Yeah, It's so sad but fight against fear. I like the

"100k people die each year because a doctor/nurse messed up, should you not go to the doctor now too? "

I'm a little surprised at these responses, particularly Aaron's. @Amanda Young You are right to foster discussion among agents about ways to stay protected and guard yourself. It's just smart to think ahead and in no way insinuates that you're living life in fear.

@Eric McCully  

I am suprised too by the comments by both Account Closed 

.....gain 200lbs and stop smiling and no one will want me. You guys can disagree with me all day long but saying these type things really makes you look like an...

I am still wondering what other ladies are doing to be proactive or thinking smart?

@Amanda Young  I think that is some sound, practical advice. 

Men have no idea what it is like to have to think of safety every day--not living in fear, just a thing women have to do, like brushing your teeth.  Maybe not a lot of conscious thought, but a practical daily concern.

@Larry T.  

Thank you! I don't think my efforts are way off, but as you can see others think otherwise.

Be careful. You have a justifiable concern here. 

@Jeff S.  

Agreed! My concern comes from past experiences and this poor lady :( Unfortunately I've twice had strange men try to get me, once in my car at night 2 tried to open my doors and get in the car, I ran a red light to get away. And one tried to break into my home while I was by myself. So yah I'm concerned!

Amanda, I totally agree with you that you are better being aware of your situation and acting accordingly. Its a crazy world, and there is nothing wrong with being prepared. But I believe Leigh was just trying to point out, or maybe just showing, that some of us guys are ignorant to these things. When I first started dating this girl in high school, she mentioned that she hated walking to her car by herself at night and that she would always park as close as she could to stores or under street lights etc. Honestly those things had never once crossed my mind as a guy. I still remember that conversation because it totally altered my view of the world. Being raised by my father and brother, I had never once thought about these things. It truly was an eye opener. Sure, the chances of something like this happening are fairly slim, BUT in the small chance something did happen, I bet you would be glad you had put yourself in the best possible position to take the situation on. I suppose its the same reason that I have home defense guns. Do I believe somebody will come into my house at night and threatening me and my family? No, but I sleep a lot better knowing that I am ready if something were to happen.

Originally posted by @Eric McCully:

I'm a little surprised at these responses, particularly Aaron's. Amanda Young You are right to foster discussion among agents about ways to stay protected and guard yourself. It's just smart to think ahead and in no way insinuates that you're living life in fear.

I am surprised as well.  There was a thread started when the agent was still just missing, and the tone of that thread was MUCH different. 

It isn't about living your life in fear, but about living your life AWARE.

Other BP thread on this topic

Account Closed 

Your gf is  completely right on, I do this too. I also have my keys in hand so I'm not standing there digging in my purse forever looking for keys.

Originally posted by @Leigh C:

Went with my son to olive garden once and he had to go to the bathroom...we had JUST gotten our food.   Ok little guy, lets go....  When i got back they were clearing the table.  Any other time this situation happened my wife was sitting there so this particular event would never occur.  He started to cry and within a few seconds the bus boy realized what he had done and got the manager.   The only time I ever thought about leaving something unattended was as i watched my son's tears fall.   

I think if a guy lived like you have to, then it would be in fear.    I'm guessing it's normal procedure for an attractive girl.   Maybe gain 200 lbs and stop smiling so much and then nobody will want you and you can live like us guys?  

How old is your son?  At what age will you let him go to a restaurant bathroom alone?

You are making light of this thread, but as a father you also should be taking precautions. 

You are definitely correct for worrying. I am a 6' 200 lb man and sometimes I still worry when I go to certain areas. I went to a house one time with my agent (6'1, probably 230 and jacked) and a squatter was in there- you never know! 

Be safe and seriously consider a conceal carry license. After the squatter incident, I got mine a month later and now conceal when I go to certain areas. It's like car insurance- hopefully you never need it, but when you do, it'll be there.

Good luck and stay safe! Always air on the side of caution.

As a side note, my daily profession is in HR. One of the top 10 deadliest professions from rogue associates taking out their HR partner (see Oklahoma beheading last week). Looks like I was very selective in my career choices, ha! 

There are a ton of things you can do, I wish I had the time to list them all. (perhaps I should blog it...)

The FIRST thing you can do is this:

When you are contacted about the property, ask the potential buyer if he has an letter of approval from his bank, and how much it is for. If they don't have this letter, and they are not paying cash, refuse to show the property until they have been approved!

If they have, ask for a copy of the letter sent by their bank (or proof of funds if a cash buyer, like a bank statement, and while you're at it, ask for a copy of their driving license, for your own safety you can tell them, they shouldn't mind this) and then phone the bank and verify that the bank is real, and the mortgage lender is real, and that the letter is 100% real. The mortgage lender does not mind verifying so, as it's standard practise between realtors and mortgage lenders. (You don't have to be a realtor, just tell them you have a property this client is interested in and want to verify them)

Why is this so important? The bank will have had his social, proof of ID, and ran this potential buyer through their system.

If they are not approved, then there is absolutely no point in showing the property. It is a waste of your time and resources. No matter what they say, stand your ground. If they were serious about buying a home, they need approval just to go the next step.

I hope I have explained this well enough. But once approval is in place, and you see their license and proof-of-funds it will give you more confidence of who you're dealing with. But that's not to say you can let your guard down then.

Leave a Google drive copy of the documents, and mark it on your Google calender that that is where you're going, and best of all, take a friend as you're not a realtor, or at least let them know where you'll be and have them phone you every 15 minutes until you drive away!

@Joseph Cox  

Those are great tips, but I'm not a realtor I'm a landlady :)

Any suggestions for that??

always make sure someone knows where you are showing.  share your google calendar if you use that.  also get there early and scope out the area and the property so you know what to expect and where issues could arise or be avoided.  Have an exit.  Also if for any reason something does not feel right when you or they arrive just drive away.  Better to lose a client than a life.

Originally posted by @Brad Clarizio:

You are definitely correct for worrying. I am a 6' 200 lb man and sometimes I still worry when I go to certain areas. I went to a house one time with my agent (6'1, probably 230 and jacked) and a squatter was in there- you never know! 

Be safe and seriously consider a conceal carry license. After the squatter incident, I got mine a month later and now conceal when I go to certain areas. It's like car insurance- hopefully you never need it, but when you do, it'll be there.

Good luck and stay safe! Always air on the side of caution.

As a side note, my daily profession is in HR. One of the top 10 deadliest professions from rogue associates taking out their HR partner (see Oklahoma beheading last week). Looks like I was very selective in my career choices, ha! 

My dad would be happy if I got license! I'm 5' 95 lbs, I couldn't imagine walking in on a squatter, eek! 

Use wisdom in showing homes and apartments.  I tell my agents that sometimes it's best to open the door and let the client walk through while remaining outside, if you feel uneasy.  Let the client tour the basement, attic or garage themselves.   Also, in addition to basic due diligence such as 1) getting mortgage pre-approval in advance.  2).stay on your cell phone with your spouse/office during the showing.  Make sure you tell people who you're meeting and where.  We all have to work but practice safety!

For the Ladies: My Sensei taught us that fear is a learned response most people are taught from their parents in childhood. There are 1,000's of ways to respond to an attacker but FEW are effective until you learn to control your fear. I know that this is extremely hard for adults already conditioned but it (fear) is an emotion and it can be controlled. Life threatening situations are just like car wrecks-they catch you when you least expect it. A wreck caused by over correction is a perfect example of this topic. Most single car wrecks are caused by over correction. The lack of proper training in situational response. Self Defense is Taught and it is learned through continual practice.
1st) Learn Martial Arts especially those taught by US Special Ops. If you can find someone locally who was Military Special Ops-especially a female-and inquire about either being taught or directions to someone who can. If you can find a "genuine" martial Arts Master, that is an excellent second choice.
2nd) Practice every day-Just as you had to practice to get good in real estate, you have to practice to get good in self defense.
3rd) Get a small caliber multi shot handgun and wear it, don't put it in your purse where you have to dig for it. (Never carry a weapon with a live round under the hammer) If you are afraid of guns, learning to overcome THAT fear is the first step in learning to control the emotion of fear in general.
4th) Carry something as a back-up. Pepper spray works as does a stun gun. Again, No weapon you carry is any good if it is buried in your purse. I carry a barber straight razor with me everywhere. if you opt for some kind of knife, check with the local police. Take the article of the Arkansas realtor with you and explain that you are want to be able to protect yourself. Ask about the local ordinance concerning knives. Get the name of the officer. If you get a gun and permit, keep that article in your car if you get stopped. After the officer asks you for your license and insurance, advised the officer that you are in possession of self defense weapons and tell him what you are carrying. Emphasis on “self defense weapons.”

Ladies, except your assailant is government trained, (rogue) an assailant has little or no training-they rely on brute strength and YOUR FEAR. Training (and controlling FEAR) will be your savior.

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