All Forum Posts by: Ali Samana

Thank you Josh. I should've known you guys were on top of it.

One more joke on this thread:

A wife is naked in front of the mirror and says to her husband, "honey I feel fat and ugly, give me a compliment..."
He says "woman, you have perfect vision"

Tell me that is not funny!

With this new version there are threads that I can view. I tried to click on a thread that said somehting about 7 foreclosed apartment complexes, and all it did was refresh the forums page. I also tried to click a thread that said something about a DFW meetup, I plan on being in DFW and wanted to attend, but can't see the thread.

If the threads are not viewable by all, then should the show up for everyone? I.E, if those threads are for private groups, shouldn't they only show up to those people that are in the private group?

Hello,

I am thinking about buying the Ultimate Edge by Tony Robbins as shown on this site:

http://www.ultimateedge.com/

Has anyone else purchased it? Did it work for you?

Is there any other material from him that you would recommend?

Congratulations Edward, way to go!!

Jon, is the dallas meetup a regular thing? I will be in Dallas on Nov 6 till after thanks giving and would love to attend.

Something to make you laugh. I am not sure if it is too explicit for the site, I apologize if it is Josh.

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, ' I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the
boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal:
'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry:
'9.'

Principal:
'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry:
'36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her,
'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal,
'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

1) Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

2) Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a
question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

3) Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry:
'Pants.'

4) Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'

Harry:
'Coconut.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

5) Ms. Brooks:
'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

6) Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog
does on three legs?'

Harry: ' Shake hands .'

The principal was trembling.

7) Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the
teacher,
'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.....'

With the 50% rule you would incur about $1000/month in expenses in the long run. So, if your P&I is ~$500/month, you would still cashflow around $500/month.

Now, does the property need any work right now? What are your plans with this property? if you are thinking long term and your numbers are right you might be ok.

86-year Old Lady's Letter to Bank

Shown below, is an actual
letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman.

The bank manager thought
it amusing enough to have it published in the New York
Times.

Dear Sir:
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it..

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded,
faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal
with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact
which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his
or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by
documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28
digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.

When you call me, press buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

#1. To make an appointment to see me

#2. To query a missing payment.

#3. To transfer the call to my living room in
case I am there.

#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping

#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home

#7. To leave a message on my computer, a
password to access my computer is required.

Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized
Contact mentioned earlier.

#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.

#9. To make a general complaint or
inquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

#10. This is a second reminder to press* for
English.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly
less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

And remember: Don't make old People mad.

We don't like being old in the first place, so
it doesn't take much to piss us off.

Thanks for the replies guys. I found out there is really no auto poster for craigslist for the reasons above. I will continue posting manually.