Is it even possible to dig myself out of this situation?

[Ran White]

Hello to everyone on BP. Have lurked around watching youtube videos, but finally decided to make an account. Please excuse me with the personal issues. Have been very stressed out right now thinking about just paying for a few storage units and sleep in my car until I get things figured out. I'm seriously in need of help, but I believe in paying my way, so let me know if you need coffee or something.

Kind of in dark place.

TLDR:

A guy who was a loser upon his early 30 I am wondering if I should look for a home (like a duplex), and rent it out, while I live on the other side (I am around Houston near crosby) if that helps, or am I in a out of luck situation due to the market. This would be my first time doing any real estate, my credit score is excellent, and I could put down a down payment. The problem I fear is dangling debt (like being stuck with a mortgage and stuck in a situation where I am screwed).

My Story:

I'm in my 30's and was a loser most of my life. Yes, dropped out of college twice, had a job high school kids could've grabbed, and staying at home with family, being silly and chasing something. Thats one thing I have to my name, I am very determined and will strive super hard for success. I spent most of my life trying to be in the entertainment business, but ended up a failure, and I was acknowledge day in and out by my family I am a loser and always compared to my peers. I think thats one of the reasons I failed entertainment because my family would be a headwind anytime I tried to move ahead and tell me to get a job, etc (and they have every right to, I had no track record). Then I lost a few close relatives who passed away and was very depressed. I am not a depressed person or have mental issues, its just life didnt seem good. Days I would wake up with a headache and unproductive. Its very stressful when you make near minimum wage with a job that bashes you all day, and you come home to people who bash you down as well. I was literally getting sick and my blood pressure was elevated (normally its 120/81 or something around there).

Speed up to 2019 I dabbled with starting a online business. The first year was pathetic but I never gave up, then 2020 I made almost 30k, then 2021 almost 60k, and now I have been making a good gross income. Every month though I have been putting nearly everything back to grow the business (I literally cut all expenses, leisure, and have been very focused on growing this).

And this where the next issues come in. My family argued that what I am doing is not a real job, then they saw I stopped going to the terrible job, and started complaining, so my inventory to provide the products has filled up my 10 x 10 room, half of the other room, and part of the garage. So now they said its time for a storage or you will have to leave, so I obtained one recently, and have been cataloging everything in boxes before I bring it. Well long story short, they see all the products in boxes scattered all over the room and hallway and started a huge argument (even though I am bringing it to storage), and they let me know they want anything and everything out of my room so they can remodel it and if not, its time to go.

Well I think its time to go. I used to go to them and show them that my life turned around and I am started to have some success. I just need to work a little bit more, invest, and I can get me a home and possibly retire in a few years, and they would say things like why do I spend all day working and collecting materials for this junk, and that their home is not a place to run a business, and now that I make more money, I need to go pay a huge *** mortgage and so like they do. So I completely understand. Its very stressful in the field I am in, but I never been in a field where I feel right at home.

Real Estate Issue:

Anyways, I'm confused as this point what to do. Rent is extremely high in Houston, and so is crime in some parts. My friend pays $1300/month for 2 beds, and they told her it will be $1500 on the renewal. Im not sure if I could pay $1500 forever because I nearly roll everything I have back into my business, so I just feel like is it better to buy a home? Have been watching Ken Mcelroy and Ben Mallah to learn about investing.

I was thinking of a duplex or triplex because I'm thinking that the tenants could pay the mortgage (or greatly reduce it), I can write it off, and run my business in peace. But I know there are pros and cons to every situation. I was thinking also a SF home and rent rooms out, but I wonder if its issues that could happen with tenants, people stealing my stuff, etc?

Its at the point where I am wondering should I just rent a uhaul, move all my stuff out (which is alot), and get a few storage units, sleep in my car, and just work mobile, or what? Just feel like I am a dark place right now. You dont know how embarrassed I feel writing this, just dont have anyone to really talk to about it.

[Anthony Torri]

Ran,

I suggest using a FHA loan for a 3-4 unit home in whatever market you would like to live in. You definitely want to talk with some lenders and see if they would even approve you for that kind of loan with your employment history. Usually they want to see 2 years tax returns or W2.

I also invest and I’m tying to get my next property soon. Don’t let the state of the market scare you. If you study the area you want to invest in and it makes sense, then go for it. Even if you don’t make as much money as you predicted, the experience of being a landlord and maintaining your property is invaluable.

Lastly, forget about all that negative BS coming from people around you. Just think about where you want to be and how to get there.

[Mike Dymski]

You are already digging yourself out...congrats on the business success and on making plans to move out!  Losers don't do that; so, strike that word from your mind forever.  You are also surrounding yourself with supportive, aspirational people by joining BP and posting on the forums...that takes guts...keep doing that here and with the rest of the people you surround yourself with...it makes a huge difference.  If you have time, check out Impact Theory podcast with Tom Bilyeu...good stuff for having a growth mindset.

I don't have a position on whether or not to buy or rent (with a roommate of course)...both are good options...but getting out of the current environment is a must.  You're headed in the right direction and could be a positive influence for others that used to be in your situation at one point.

[Ran White]

Thanks for replying. When you say 3-4 units, do you mean a duplex/triplex or SF? 

Also, that us one of the issues i have with the employment history.  I have bank records to show i have financial responsibility, its just i had a mediocre year 2 years ago, a decent one, and now a good one. I am curious too on the w-2 if 60k i made shows as that because cogs and other expenses brought it down more like 30k. 

[Ran White]

Quote from @Mike Dymski:

You are already digging yourself out...congrats on the business success and on making plans to move out!  Losers don't do that; so, strike that word from your mind forever.  You are also surrounding yourself with supportive, aspirational people by joining BP and posting on the forums...that takes guts...keep doing that here and with the rest of the people you surround yourself with...it makes a huge difference.  If you have time, check out Impact Theory podcast with Tom Bilyeu...good stuff for having a growth mindset.

I don't have a position on whether or not to buy or rent (with a roommate of course)...both are good options...but getting out of the current environment is a must.  Your headed in the right direction and could be a positive influence for others that used to be in your situation at one point.

Thank you Mike. I have tried to connect with others in my field too, but everyone is in the infant stages and we have never made this much money in our lives. My other colleague had rent relief programs that paid their rent for 2 years during the pandemic so they are good, but the landlord let them know rent will be $1500/month soon for 2 bed 1 bath on westhiemer (popular street in Houston), so im wondering is it best to just buy a house then?

[Patrick Drury]

@Ran White
You should definitely reach out to a lender and see what's in your wheelhouse and go from there. Once You have an idea of what you are pre-qualified for, you should look for an agent and start looking at deals. 

[Ran White]

@Patrick Drury how would i go about finding  a hard money lender? I know someone who recently became a re agent. Would there be any con to contacting them?

[Louis P Lessor]

Welcome to Bigger Pockets, and congrats on wanting to start your real estate journey. 

As mentioned, I would first see what you can qualify for on the financial side to help you decide on your next move. 

I would also spend a lot of time just reading as much as you can, both on real estate, businesses, and personal development, to help gain more clarity on your WHY, which you can use to develop your next moves. 

As a fellow e-commerce business owner and real estate investor, all I can say is to use the tough times as motivation. If I can help, please feel free to reach out. 

[Marci Stein]

It’s quite impossible to be a loser if you have found this site and adhere to the education and guidance. 
BP is your way out of Loserville!

[Jon Martin]

Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not easy finding your way in this world. It takes guts and drive to grind it out and pay your dues in the entertainment business- most people don’t make it. Also takes drive to start a business of your own. You took an important first step in finding your way here. Keep taking steps to surround yourself with better people and make positive changes, and you’ll get there. 

[JD Martin]

Quote from @Ran White:

Hello to everyone on BP. Have lurked around watching youtube videos, but finally decided to make an account. Please excuse me with the personal issues. Have been very stressed out right now thinking about just paying for a few storage units and sleep in my car until I get things figured out. I'm seriously in need of help, but I believe in paying my way, so let me know if you need coffee or something.

Kind of in dark place.

TLDR:

A guy who was a loser upon his early 30 I am wondering if I should look for a home (like a duplex), and rent it out, while I live on the other side (I am around Houston near crosby) if that helps, or am I in a out of luck situation due to the market. This would be my first time doing any real estate, my credit score is excellent, and I could put down a down payment. The problem I fear is dangling debt (like being stuck with a mortgage and stuck in a situation where I am screwed).

My Story:

I'm in my 30's and was a loser most of my life. Yes, dropped out of college twice, had a job high school kids could've grabbed, and staying at home with family, being silly and chasing something. Thats one thing I have to my name, I am very determined and will strive super hard for success. I spent most of my life trying to be in the entertainment business, but ended up a failure, and I was acknowledge day in and out by my family I am a loser and always compared to my peers. I think thats one of the reasons I failed entertainment because my family would be a headwind anytime I tried to move ahead and tell me to get a job, etc (and they have every right to, I had no track record). Then I lost a few close relatives who passed away and was very depressed. I am not a depressed person or have mental issues, its just life didnt seem good. Days I would wake up with a headache and unproductive. Its very stressful when you make near minimum wage with a job that bashes you all day, and you come home to people who bash you down as well. I was literally getting sick and my blood pressure was elevated (normally its 120/81 or something around there).

Speed up to 2019 I dabbled with starting a online business. The first year was pathetic but I never gave up, then 2020 I made almost 30k, then 2021 almost 60k, and now I have been making a good gross income. Every month though I have been putting nearly everything back to grow the business (I literally cut all expenses, leisure, and have been very focused on growing this).

And this where the next issues come in. My family argued that what I am doing is not a real job, then they saw I stopped going to the terrible job, and started complaining, so my inventory to provide the products has filled up my 10 x 10 room, half of the other room, and part of the garage. So now they said its time for a storage or you will have to leave, so I obtained one recently, and have been cataloging everything in boxes before I bring it. Well long story short, they see all the products in boxes scattered all over the room and hallway and started a huge argument (even though I am bringing it to storage), and they let me know they want anything and everything out of my room so they can remodel it and if not, its time to go.

Well I think its time to go. I used to go to them and show them that my life turned around and I am started to have some success. I just need to work a little bit more, invest, and I can get me a home and possibly retire in a few years, and they would say things like why do I spend all day working and collecting materials for this junk, and that their home is not a place to run a business, and now that I make more money, I need to go pay a huge *** mortgage and so like they do. So I completely understand. Its very stressful in the field I am in, but I never been in a field where I feel right at home.

Real Estate Issue:

Anyways, I'm confused as this point what to do. Rent is extremely high in Houston, and so is crime in some parts. My friend pays $1300/month for 2 beds, and they told her it will be $1500 on the renewal. Im not sure if I could pay $1500 forever because I nearly roll everything I have back into my business, so I just feel like is it better to buy a home? Have been watching Ken Mcelroy and Ben Mallah to learn about investing.

I was thinking of a duplex or triplex because I'm thinking that the tenants could pay the mortgage (or greatly reduce it), I can write it off, and run my business in peace. But I know there are pros and cons to every situation. I was thinking also a SF home and rent rooms out, but I wonder if its issues that could happen with tenants, people stealing my stuff, etc?

Its at the point where I am wondering should I just rent a uhaul, move all my stuff out (which is alot), and get a few storage units, sleep in my car, and just work mobile, or what? Just feel like I am a dark place right now. You dont know how embarrassed I feel writing this, just dont have anyone to really talk to about it.

 Thoughts - and it wasn't too long to read, a connotation I find obnoxious. If someone doesn't want to read it, don't tell me about it, just move along. Anyway:

1. You can't be too much of a loser to start an internet business from scratch that's making good money. Sounds pretty ambitious to me. Unless of course you're selling drugs or people. 

2. Not being successful financially shouldn't be the definition of your self worth. It's only one aspect of who you are as a person. If you made nothing and worked dead end jobs and beat your wife and your dog and cursed your mother and cheated your friends, then yes maybe you were a loser, but beyond that it's all perspective.

3. Yes, house hacking - living in one unit and renting another - is a good way to get started. You live in the dump and rent out the good side. If there's no good side, you make a good side and rent it out while you fix up the dump.

4. Living mobile is not entirely impossible but easier if you have a van or a travel trailer. But there's a lot of logistics to deal with.

5. It sounds like you have a really toxic family that needs to be jettisoned. If my family treated me that way they would be persona non grata. 

6. Renting out rooms is a possibility but I wouldn't recommend it. 

7. Never be embarrassed by being honest. Nothing will set you free like the truth. Michael Franti said the best way to vanquish vampires is to move them into the light. I give you props for facing things head on. 

[Theresa Harris]

If you can buy a duplex and live in half and rent the other half, that is a good option.  Talk to a bank and see how much you can borrow.  Most of the living expenses you do pay would be towards your mortgage.  You could also get a roommate if you want.  If you like your own space, don't get a roommate.  Moving out will also help if you aren't getting along with your family and by 30, you should have your own space.  It is your parents' house, so fair enough if they don't want your inventory taking up space.

I don't know what kind of business you have, but do you have to stay in Houston or could you move to another city?

[Eric Bilderback]

I would buy a fourplex with little down as possible.  Remember that "most people overestimate what they can accomplish in one year but drastically underestimate what they can accomplish in five years."  If you play your cards right and get a little bit of luck you will have opportunities in 5 years you could never dream of now.  

Forgive me for getting out of my lane here but in my opinion the scariest thing for a person to carry is resentment.  I believe it makes them interact with the world in an entirely different way and even makes people inflict pain on the world to get revenge for the pain that has been inflicted on them.  It can be a never ending downward spiral.  That spirit or whatever you want to call it, is relentless in ruining lives and has created an untold amount of misery.  

If you don't have a kids which it sounds like you don't and can limit your expenses I would highly recommend @Scott Trench book Set for Life (its a biggerpockets book).

[Bradley Dosch]

Hey Ran,

Thanks for making this post and for being so vulnerable. I'd say the first step is to drop the negative self talk. No need to call yourself a loser. You are your own best friend!

That sounds like an interesting position for sure. House hacking can certainly be a great option for you! I think the best step is to find a rockstar agent and lender in your area and start devising a plan with them. There are plenty on this site. 

Focus on improving the people you associate with, your confidence, and your overall self worth. These things are much more important than money and real estate. Thanks Ran!

[Anthony Torri]

Ran, yes, a duplex or triplex. Set some time aside today to talk with a couple lenders to get an idea of what they will want to see from you. You might be totally fine. With FHA they can use the income from the rents if the property your looking at to qualify you for the home.

[Victor S.]

with your business growing, it would be wise to think about the space for inventory. can you rent some sort of a garage that has an office with shower, kitchen, etc.? you can see if living and working out of that kind of space will hold you over for the time being and not break the bank. 

[John Morgan]

@Ran White

Congrats on making your move. You’ve got this. I like your attitude now, minus beating up on yourself for previous mistakes in life. We’ve all stumbled and have gone through the loser status at one point. Lol. But we decided to change our attitude like you and turned our ships around. RE is a great avenue to build massive wealth quickly. Keep hanging out here to learn from us. We were all broke at some point like you.

I would try and save up at least 20-30k cash before you do anything. I rent homes by the room for $550/month in the Dallas area which is expensive too. That includes utilities and everything. Find a place like that in the Houston area and safe $ like crazy. Then maybe have enough to do an owner finance property or house hack a duplex or quad in the future. Look for quads or duplexes with owner financing. They pop up once in awhile. But for now, hunker down and save like crazy. Sell most of your stuff and live in someone’s home or a rental house by the room for $500-$600/month. I did that years ago until I had a lot of cash saved up to buy my first house. It’s doable and a great way to save a ton of dough quickly.

[Clayton Boyle]

First of all, congrats on working your way back out of a hole - it's not easy to do. 

I question the people advising you to go out and buy a triplex or quad right away, because it honestly sounds like that is just not feasible for you. You mention 60k being the gross from your business, and a net total of about 30k just with some expenses subtracted. I just cannot believe you can buy a multiunit property with under under 30k actual income, especially self employed. Additionally, I get the impression that you don't have robust savings (which is fine, but you have to have some money to put into a purchase using traditional financing).  In the unlikely event you could score a quadplex given your situation, you need reserves for maintenance, repairs, vacancies, etc. 

Focus on the business, rent until you can build up some savings, and show a longer history of income from self employment.  Set smaller goals and enjoy those successes rather than setting yourself up for disaster. 

[Basit Siddiqi]

First - Don't follow the words "I am" with something negative. It is really bad for you.

Second - I would not focus on real estate at the moment. Maybe have that as a long-term goal.
Your first mission is to live a comfortable day to day life. Get yourself an apartment to put a roof over your head instead of living in your car.
Get a job that will bring in consistent income.
This will also help you get financing in the future.

I wish you the best of luck.